A Quick Update

ya know it’s AMAZING, I FEEL LIKE A MILLION BUCKS TODAY….I STARTING TO FINALLY FEEL LIKE MICHELLE AGAIN, NOT ROGUE ….MICHELLE!!!

Ya know what, someone said on the sex worker subreddit the other day that providers see men during their worst times…and hey we get that, IT’S OK WE GET THAT, WE UNDERSTAND THAT….BUT YA KNOW WHAT….

Here is what IS NOT OK, its NOT OK THAT JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE GOING THRU A BAD THAT MISTREAT OTHER PEOPLE AND TAKE YOUR SHITTY MOODS OUT OF US!! IT’S NOT FUCKING TO DISRESPECT SOMEONE ITS NOT OK TO FUCKING BELITTLE SOMEONE ITS FUCKING NOT OK TO PUSH YOUR FUCKED OFF ASSES IN MY HOME AND PUSHING MY BOUNDARIES

IT’S FUCKING NOT OK TO CONTACT ME AT 3 AM AND EXPECT ME TO BE FUCKING HAPPY ABOUT IT AND THEN TURN AROUND AND CALL ME ALL KINDS CRAZY BITCHES AND HEAUXS PSYCHOS AND EVERYTHING ELSE JUST YOUR BEING A BABY AND IM PISSED OFF BECAUSE YOU DIDNT RESPECT MY BOUNDARIES………ALLL JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE GOING THRU A BAD TIME

its NOT FUCKING OK ….FOR ME TO SPEND THE AMOUNT OF MONEY THAT I DO EVERY MONTH FOR YOUR SAFETY AND SECURITY AND PRIVACY …ONLY FOR YOU TO HAVE NO REGARDS ABOUT MY SAFETY SECURITY AND PRIVACY ….

ITS NOT OK,,,,ITS FUCKING NOT OK, ITS NOT ACCEPTABLE

I FEEL GREAT TODAY, I AM SO FUCKING HAPPY AS CAN BE THAT YOU MOTHERFUCKERS HAVE “PUNISHED” ME FOR THE LAST MONTH, CANCELLING ON ME JUST BECAUSE YOU DONT LIKE THE NEGATIVITY ON MY SITE.

and you wonder why providers start hating you….and like the email i got the other day…wondering why im so fucking defensive towards all of you men…let me explain this to the stupid fools…i swear to god, smh

its been A MONTH since i have done a call…ITS BEEN 2 WEEKS SINCE THE LAST TIME I HAD BEEN TOLD IM STUPID, IM CRAZY, I NEED TO DIE, I NEED TO DIE A CORONA VIRUS DEATH, THAT IM DUMB., ITS BEEN 2 WEEKS SINCE SINCE I HAVE HAD LOW LIFE MOTHERFUCKERS TALK DOWN TO ME, BELITTLE ME, SHAME ME, STALK ME, DEGRADE ME ON ALL PLATEFORMS PUBLICLY…IT’S BEEN ALMOST A MONTH SINCE I DEACTIVATED TWITTER AND STAYED AWAY FROM BEING BULLYIED AND STALKED LOODKED DOWN ON CUSSED AT AND ALL THAT SHIT

WHY AM I SO DEFENSIVE HMM??? WELL AFTER 3 YEARS OF NOTHING BUT MEN THINKING THAT IT’S OK TO DO THE THINGS THAT’S BEEN DONE TO ME, …….I NOW SEE YOU FUCKERS AS A THREAT TO ME!!!!!!

WHEN YOU HAVE HAD SO MANY FACELESS NAMELESS MOTHERFUCKERS JUST MISTREAT YOU WORSE THAN THE SHIT ON THE BOTTOM OF YOUR BOOTS, ….UMMMM AND YOU FUCKERS TOLD ME I HAD NO CHOICE BUT TO LIKE IT AND THEN USED YOUR DICKS AS A WEAPON TO MANIPLATE ME PUNISHING ME FOR STANDING UP FOR MYSELF ALL THE FUCKING TIME FOR 3 FUCKING YEARS..AND YOU EXPECT ME TO WHAT?????

LIKE IT AND TAKE IT HUH??

WELL I COULDNT GET YOUR MFERS TO SEE AND START RESPECT MY LIFE AND STOP FUCKING MISTREATING ME AND ABUSING ME…ALL JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE GOING THRU A BAD TIME, MAKE MY LIFE MISERABLE AS FUCK JUST BECAUSE YOU WANT TO FEEL BETTER ABOUT YOUR LIFE THAT YOU ARE GOING TO FUCK MY LIFE UP..MAKE ME LIKE IT, TAKE MY CHOICES AWAY FROM, AND THEN PUNISH ME….TELLING ME I NEED TO GO GE THELP BUT PUNISH ME BY TAKING MY RESOURCES AWAY FROM ME TO GO THE HELP….

AND YOU SORRY SOB’S DONT SEE ANYTHING WRONG WITH THIS RIGHT HERE, SMH …NOW….WHEN I LOOK AT A MAN, I SEE ALL OF YOU AS THREAT TO ME AND ON MY LIFE NOW!! WHAT THINK WAS GONNA HAPPEN??? THAT I GONNA BE PLANTING ROSE BUSHES FOR YOU OR SOME SHIT….wow

ya know it’s been almost a year since my dad died, FINALLY IT WAS 2 DAYS AGO, I FINALLY BROKE DOWN AND MOURNED MY DAD’S PASSING….FINALLY…and ya wanna know why…i had some peace to be able to finally break down and mourn!!!

ya know yall have put me through hell and back about fifteen times in 3 years and NOT ONE OF YOU FUCKEWRS SEE THAT YOU HAVE DONE SO ME WRONG, THAT YOU TREATING ME LIKE YOU HAVE ….ITS YOUR FAULT AND NO THIS TIME IM NOT TAKING THESE BLOGS DOWN,

SINCE MY “HORROR STORIES” …THEY ARE “STORIES TO YOU HUH…GUESS WHAT ….THESE “STOREIS” ARE OF ALL OF YOU, DO I REALLY NEED TO OUT ALL OF YOUR NAMES JUST TO SHOW YOU ITS NOT A STORY, THAT THIS IS THE WAY YOU HAVE TREATED ME???? SO THAT YOU SEE YOUR NAMES HIT YOU IN THE FACE ???

Heres the dealo folks, if you dont like these so called horror stories that are nothing but fiction to you, if you dont like it, how you figure thata i enjoy fucking living thru it huh??? oh but you dont care, well guess what i do

and even though i feel great today i feel like im coming out of such a fucking horrifying blackness that all of you hhave put on me …i feel great…but now im having to face how all of you have hurt me like you have and then to me …ITS MY FAULT THAT YOU HAVE HURT ME…NOOOOOOO IT’S NOT MY FAULT ITS YOURS I DONT OWN THAT ONE

THE FIRST TIME IN 3 HYEARS I HAVE SOMEWHAT TAKING OFF AND TAKING SOME TIME FOR MYSELF…AND BECAUSE ALL OF YOU WERE PISSY AT ME …FOR THE MOST PART …YOU FINALLY GAVE ME SOME FUCKING PEACE JUST UNWIND SMH YOU AND THE WAY ALL OF YOU HAVE DO TREAT OTHERS SHITTY JUST BECAUSE YOU FEEL LIKE SHIT…YOU DO MAKE PPEOPLE HATE YOU, YOU MAKE WOMEN FEEL THREATENED BY YOUR VERY PRESENCE …AND ITS NOT MY FAULT…

SO FOR THOSE THAT HAVE HURT ME …THERE YA GO…FUCK YOU FOR MANIPULATING ME FUCK YOU FOR LIEING TO ME, FUCK YOU FOR DEGRADING ME FUCK YOU FOR PUNISHING ME JUST BECAUSE I AM CRYING OUT FOR YOU TO STOP HURTING ME…SINCE YALL WANTED A UPDATE…

yea im enjoying the fuck out of my peace and quiet tht i have for a change..and yes i just paid out over $200 for this website,..OF MY FUCKING MONEY NOT YOURS …MINE MY OWN MONEY SINCE YOU WANNA PUNISH ME AND CANCELL AND NOT COME IN….I WILL WHAT THE FUCK I WANT WITH MY SITE…AND YOU DONT NONE OF YOU CAN SEE WHY IM SO DEFENSIVE HUH? SMH

I would like to bring up one last point for you….ya know yall didnt think about this part..when you take EVERYTHING FROM A PERSON DOWN TO BREAKING HER SPIRIT…WHEN YOU HAVE PUSHED AND MADE HER LOSS EVERY BIT OF EVERYTHING HER DIGINTY PRIDE, JOY, LAUGHTER AND DOWN TO THE WILL TO LIVE …TO WHERE SHE HAS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING LEFT TO LIVE FOR…

lol and none saw this coming lmao….i have lost everything i have ever cared for you took it all from me…hmmm

i have NOTHING BUT TIME NOW…YOU ALL JUST MADE ME ONE DANGEROUS ASS MFING BITCH WHO FEELS THREATENED BY MEN ALL MEN NOW…YOU WERE TOTALLY STUPID YA KNOW THAT…SMH

NOW IM TIRED OF HAVING TO BE ON GUARD LIKE THIS IM TIRED OF HAVING TO DEFEND MY FUCKING LIFE WHEN I SIT HEERE QUIETLY RESPECT ALL OF YOUR LIVES, AND CINCE YOU FORCED ME TO HAVE TO HAVE THIS WALL AND GUARD UP 24/7 IN MY LIFE, IN ORDER TO SEE AND GET PAST THIS BRICK WALL…YOU HAVE TO BE VERRY FUCKING IMPRESSIVE TO ME..AND SHOW YOU ARE NOT FUCKING HATEFUL

WHAT IT ALL BOILS DOWN TO….IM HURT …IM DEFENSIVE FROM ALL THE AMOUNT OF HURT, I WDONT WANT TO BE HURT NO MORE…IF YOU DONT HURT ME WE ARE COOL…IM COOL WE WOUULD HAVE ALOT OF FUN, BUT YOU WOULD RATHERR HURT PPL INSTEAD OF ACTUALLY HAVING FUNN!!!

I DONT HOLD GRUDGES I DONT HATE I JUST WANT IT TO ALLS STOP

HAVE A GREAT DAY AND A GREAT WEEK

AND BTW THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS PEACE, MATTER FACT I FELL ASLEEP JUST NOW IM SORRY…DAMN I CRASHED HARD LOL

IM FEELING GREAT BUT YA KNOW WHEN ALL THESE things come and hit me its hardto deal with, its painful its hurts my heart because ive cared so deeply for yall and i cant understand why you mistreated me so badly when i cared, and you keep blaming me for something that istn my fault and that hurts even worse . so

i want to say thanks for this time its been nice to not be so stressed to not be told all the time that i need to die..

i really want to be around more positve influences because when you are so surrounded by nothing but negative god its gross feeling i dont want to anything anyone negative and i just get boggled when i think how you expected anything positive on either side to come out of it, but i am doing great i have my bad days and my good days, today i feel good, yesterday someone FINALLY TOOK THE TIME TO ACTUALLY LISTEN TO ME AND TO ACTUALLY HEAR ME AND TRY TO UNDERSTAND, AND ….GUESS WHAT…HE UNDERSTOOD, HE UNDERSTOOD, INSTEAD OF PPL TELLING THAT WHAT I FELT WASNT VALID, HE UNDERSTOOD, AND THAT WAS SO REFRESHING AND SO RELLIEING LIKE A BREATH OF FRESH AIR, IT FELT GREAT I JUST GOT sleepy all of sudden but im doing good but im finding out that i need to stay away from all those that are very negative it only brings me down and is the reason why you havient heard much from me here lately, im trying to heal im trying to become alive again after so long of drowning in nothing but being pulled down im scrared of yall now …i reaally am and i dont want to feel this way i dont like feeling like that, my ups and down in my emotions that you see….THATS SIMPLY ALL HURT COMING OUT SO THAT I CAN HEAL..CANT BLAME ME I CANT KEEP IT IN AND KEEP IT BOTTLED UP INSIDE ITS GOTTA COME OUT AND ALL I HAVE IS MY WRITING SAND I WONT LET YOU TAKE THAT AWAY FROM ME BUT I AM PROGRESSING AND I WILL KEEP PROGESSING IF YOU DONT HURT ME NO MORE…UP LIFE ME BRING PSOSITVE AND ENCOURSAGE ME I WHAT I WAS I NEED OK I NEED NO ONE ELSE DISCOURAGING ME ANYMORE

ITS NO FUN TO BE LEFT ALL ON YOUR OWN SCARED ALL THE TIME NO ONE TO TALK TO AND ESPECIALLY TO BE TOLD YOUR THE STONGEST PERSON THEY KNOW WHEN YOU ALL ARE ACTUALLY ALL ALONE AND SCARED TO LVING FUCKING DEATH, WITH NO SUPPORT SYSTEM, ITS NOT RIGHT AND ITS NO FUN ITS LONELY AS FUCK AND SCAREY AS FUCK IM TIRED OF BEING HURT SO MUCH

2 thoughts on “A Quick Update”

  1. Good to see the spunky funky one release! A big “like” and accept my humbled 5 star rate…rock on??

    1. it aint spunky funky ITS PISSED LIVING FUCK OFF
      FOR PEOPLE TO FUCKING MAKE ME BELIEVE THAT FUCKING BEING ABUSED IN MY FUCKING FAULT
      AFTER A MONTH OF BEING AWAY FROM THE ABUSE FROM TWITTER AND TWO WEEKS SINCE THE LAST TIME I WAS TOLD I SHOULD DIE,
      IM FINALLLY REALIZING
      ITS FUCKING NOT ME
      AND IM FUCKING SO GOD DAMN SICK AND GOT DAMN TIRED OF FUCKING PUTTING UP WITH GOT DAMN NOTHING BUT BULLSHIT
      AND TOLD THEY ARE TERRIFIED OF MEEEEE
      AND ALL OF MY “HORROR STORIES” IS A PROBLEM

      MOTHERFUCKERS LET ME TELL YOU, MY HORROR STORIES
      IS ALL THE FUCKING SHIT YALL HAVE PUT ME THOUGH THAT I DIDNT FUCKING DESERVE

      OH IM DEFENSIVE HUH

      FUCK YOU
      IM TIRED OF HAVING TO DEFEND MYSELF FROM ALL OF YOU TRYING ME LIKE DOG SHIT WORSE THAN THAT

      IM FUCKING NOW DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

      THATS EXACTLY WHAT THIS FUCKING IS!!!!!!!!!!!!

      YALL BETTER MAKE GOD DAMN SURE YOU FUCKING HEAR MY ASS THIS TIME

      BECAUSE IM OUT TO FUCKING KILL THE NEXT PERSON WHO DARES TO FUCKING NOT RESPECT ME, IGNORES ME, DISREGARDS ME, PUSHES MY BOUNDARIES AND MISTREATS ME IM OUT FOR BLOOD NOW, IM FUCKING DONE WITH ALL OF THE BULLSHIT IM FUCKING TIRED OF BEGGING FOR YOU MOTHERFUCKERS TO STOP ABUSING ME

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