Good Morning Everyone. With Summer quickly coming to a close. With the first day of school right around the corner. Everyone is preparing for this new school year to begin. Everyone has high hopes for their children to start what hopefully will be a great school year with no major bumps along the way, right….
Well, we all wish for the whole school year to be perfect. But we all know that is just not realistically not gonna happen. With growth comes changes, with change comes bumps and bruises along the way. Growing pains, growth spurts and ALOT of blood, sweat and tears for BOTH parents and our children.
I’m bringing this up in my blog, because with the shift of the seasons that is fast approaching, and school upon us. There will be another change that will be taking place very soon. It’s a major change and one that I’m actually trying to prepare everyone for this major shift that’s about to take place. And trying to get everyone on the same level all at one time to start getting used to the changes is going to be a difficult task to accomplish. lol Also for you to be able to fully understand what is about to happen and to have everyone take all of this as serious as it is really is, this is just isn’t gonna be easy Of course, honestly speaking, with the constant resisitance I really just don’t expect to be able to catch a break in this endeavour anyways…One can hope though. Because it’s REALLY AND TRULY ABOUT TO HAPPEN!
Taking The First Step
For me, everything is happening so quick, it’s almost like the a blink of an eye to me at the moment. This is something that is so unexpected for me, had never entered my mind that I was going to be actually doing something of this nature in my whole my life!!! It’s swirling around me so quickly its scaring the living daylights out of me. The realizations, and the seriousness of what I’m taking on, the major amount of responisiblities and more stress that comes with what I’m actually doing. As I’m sitting here typing, I’m literally shaking worse than a leaf, both inside and out, and my stutter that I now have when I get upset from the PTSD, is very noticeable right now… At this point now in the game, we are gonna have to come to an understanding and a common ground. There’s absolutly no choice in the matter anymore. I am literally only person and the severity of the penalities that I am now looking at and facing that I am now going to be responisible for. This is now going have to be taken on a very serious level. THERES NO “IF’S, AND’S OR BUT’S” ABOUT IT ANYMORE!
Ok so what am I am talking about. it’s 4:15 in the morning, yesterday evening at at 7:15 for me marks me taking THE HUGE FIRST STEP of me owning my own business. But not just a business, as in a small business….a corporation! I just gave the porn law attorney the first installment. THIS IS FREAKING HUGE FOR ME…AND VERY SCAREY AS WELL! Not to mention, its really a pretty proud moment for me. It’s me doing this, It’s me taking money out of my disabiltiy money to do this, me saving my money to make sure this does get done, It’s out of MICHELLE’S money…lord my family would be sooo totally shocked lmao…and very very literally I AM DOING ALL OF THIS ALL ON MY OWN AND ALL ALONE, ALL BY MYSELF, NO HELP, DON’T KNOW WHAT I’M DOING QUIET YET. BUT I’M DOING IT!!!! So for me….this is SOOO SOOO SOOOO FREAKING MAJOR FOR ME!!!! So….What does all this actually mean for both you and me?????
With Growth Comes Change
So, let me start by explaining why the corporation. The fact that I’m on disability and that is my main source of income has stopped me from doing literally everything that everyone has been asking me to do. ALL OF IT!!! Anything that brings in revenue, meaning having OnlyFans, Snapchat, ManyClips, Clips4Sale, Patreon, Allmylinks, SextPanther, any affiliate links, …literally any and everything that I would be making money from doing, requires a 1099 tax form to be signed. Being that I’d be considered to be a Freelancer/entrepeneur….or just simply being “self employed”, which is how I was raised, with my dad being in construction. I knew about that 1099 form. So I can’t sign the tax form and I can’t get paid like this. Not as an individual. So that’s when I had started going to the attorney about all this. Asking for guidance and some advice on how I could please the publics demands. And I mean, you have no idea what it’s been doing to me wanting to please everyone and very literally ….legally haven’t been able to budge at all, and then everyone getting mad at me…*sighs* It’s been killing me inside….
In order for me to do what the public wants and has demanded, and with me wanting to please….With Mike’s guidance and help with doing all the legal stuff I was able to find a way to do all this…..A corporation is considered to be a separate entity. So, the business would be getting paid, not me. Now, for the reality of it all. Going further into the realities of it all. ….ohhh wow!!! ….As I’m going through all the steps in my head that I’m about to type out, the thought hits me…This is something I wanna call my dad and tell him about…and then I realize….I can’t…Gawd! yea that just hit hard..ok..so…
Behind The Scenes
Well, last week before the first, I started trying to go over all the expeditures, the bills that this job incurs, started trying to figure out how much advertising actually DOES cost me…which is fortune…how much screening cost…which is another small fortune in itself…this website….another small fortune…everything…and trying to start separating everything out….Being that right now, is all being done as an individual, It’s gotta get separated to be two different entities!!! This also means, that any supplies like condoms, lube, anything that I supply that it’s the bathroom for ya’ll….all of this…..I NOW HAVE TO BE CONSCIOUSLY AWARE AND GETTING USED TO MAKING SURE THIS IS SEPARTED, WITH RECIEPTS KEPT AND ACCOUNTED FOR, ALONG WITH NOW DOING A TOTALLY SEPARTE BUDGET FOR EVERYTHING!!! Notice how I said, consciouly aware and getting used to…..BIG CHANGES FOR ME.
And considering I don’t know anything about what I’m doing, what to expect, What my responisiblites are, the procedures, things like how I’m supposed to get my tax number, just literally everything, I have noooo clue on what I’m doing…This means….
RESEARCH, RESEARCH, RESEARCH…RESEARCH……AND MORE RESEARCH….THIS MEANS…I NEED THE TIME TO DO THE RESEARCH!!!
I’ve also been needing to get into the guts of this website, and from the last couple of nights of me starting getting into the guts, ummmm THIS IS NOW IMPORATANT AND IMPERATIVE THAT THIS GETS DONE NOW!!! MATTER OF FACT, ITS SO BAD IT SHOULDVE BEEN TAKING CARE WEEKS AGO!!!
This also means, I have to start working and organizaing everything that I have on the computer, allllll the content I have needs to get done and prepared to be able to sell you. Editing, triming, merging, croping marking all of it….and I’ve been making squirting vids here lately…that needs to be prepared for you…for when I get on OnlyFans etc….and this in itself, is alot lol!!!
I also need to start reading some of the SEO courses thaat I’ve been getting in my email. That I have NOT even come close to be being able to mess with yet. Between TRYING to figure out all this coding that quiet honestly looks like Japanese, Chinese AND Mongonlion ALL mixed into something lmao…I’m not quite sure what yet but it’s something and this SEO stuff….OMG what a challenge for me…
Well, whether or not I have forgotten something I do believe that is more than enough to start off with. I’m sure as I go, oh there will be plenty more new things that’s adding up for me to do. In the meantime….
What Does All This Mean For Ya’ll
Well, first of all, to go from being stagnat to more or less…the sky is the limit…for me, I can’t get more verified than this!!! I have to get a tax number, My real name, address and all has to be filed publicly and so forth. Please don’t be doing anything stupid ok…anyways…there’s so much swirling in my head about having a studio and everything as things progress in time…
This is a business, and it will be ran as such! Me? I do run a tight ship…Once things are finalized….there WILL be deposits REQUIRED…..absolutely no question about it. This is why I’m trying to explain things and trying to get everyone to understand that things are very serious legally for me now..and theres NOOO ROOM FOR ANY ERRORS…there never has been actually…but especially now..I am NOT going to risk this business over someones stupidity ok…It’s alot of work and everything involved and then everyone of us would be losing out …..over one persons stupity…thats not cool ok…
Just like any other business, there will no longer be “availabity”, it’s during the specified business hours and days that “appointments” can be made. I’m going to work on implementing the easiest way for everyone to book your appts THRU THE WEBSITE ONLY. There’s just gonna have to be organization about all of this. Things will have to go accordingly as I set them. For one reason or another. The play time, vulgar language all that good stuff….is ONLY done during that play time…To see this as “ohhh gonna fuck around with a heaux…fuck up her time….or all the whatevers ya’ll think….you’d be looking at this VERY WRONG.
What To Look Forward To
This is what all this is about giving you MORE!!! Being able to reach out to those that can’t possibly come to meet me, more payments options, etc. The possiblies are actually pretty limitless at this point!!
Please Note Though: By law anything else that I do will have to be kept separate from escorting. You can not mix Amateur Porn and escorting together. Actually nothing can be mixed with escorting. This means I have build another website. And make sure things are separately
I have alot of decisions to make as in which sites and where as of yet. I know for a fact I’m gonna do OnlyFans definitely. To name a few things that’s to come in the near future:
- More Payment Options: I’ll be able to take credit cards along with other forms of payment at this point.
- ALL my content will be up for grabs: I’ll be able to sell all my content now and actually I do have alot that I’ve been trying to sift through lol
- Only Fans
- Possible Snap Chat: But it seems to be the same purpose as OnlyFans and is not really tailored to the Adult Industry
- Either Clips4sale or Manyvids: I have to look into this but if I remember correctly I think one was more tailored to BDSM and the other wasn’t so much so. I don’t remember which is which though.
- Producing Amateur Porn: I now have all the legal form/releases that are required to produce my porn. Now I’ll be able to make those vids with ya’ll! You dicks can be a star!!!! ???lol
- Raffles And Fun Things: I’ve had a few things in mind, I want some things to do that’s fun, to be able to offer to yall. I want to make things fun again. This all work and no play for me, it’s been hard…. I want us all to have some fun.
I am open to LEARNING how to do sexting and phone. I’m still not quite sure on the Camming part yet. You have to understand, it’s actually way way more than just turning on a cam or whatever, there’s actually an “art” to doing all of this. And being that I’m not a “talker” (for a true slave, this is a form of freedom of speech. This is NOT something that’s actually “me” but…I’m willing to try and learn to do this to be able to give this to you. But please understand this is more than taking me out of my comfort zone, this is almost like forcing a straight man into either being bi sexual or gay! I’m gonna try the best I can, no promises. I just don’t want to disappoint anyone that’s all.
I eventually would like to have my own studio. I’m wanting to porn side of things more, quite honestly. I want to be able to focus on things that come naturally for me. Fucking…Sucking…Sex…the action of it all…..that’s my natural, that’s all me…the porn films would be where it’s at for me….The kink, the eroticy, the passion…that would be captured more on film than anywhere else. And that’s being honest!
Ok, so to sum it all up on this part, I’m having to start getting used to a different way of doing things, saying things, just literally everything for me is going to be different. So I, myself is having to start getting used to some things as well gettting into the “new habits.” And in turn, that also starts to get you started getting used these changes as well. Things NEVER happen over night. Especially with me being the ONLY ONE THAT DOES EVERYTHING! I have to put everything else down to be able to do one thing, all else gets put to the waist side. And very honestly speaking….I am more than a year behind on everything at the moment. Due to time wasters and never being allowed to do all the behind the scenes work….But in the end I do have alot of plans, if given the time….alot more things are gonna be coming. The further I get into the research of everything, I’ll know more to be able to tell you more. But I not gonna tell you anything that i’m not sure on yet.
On Monday, the 5th, I had to deactivate Twitter again. And is actually when I started writing this. lol Since I have deactivated Twitter, it’s been quite as can be. No drama, no stress, no time wasting, nooo nothing, nothing negative at all!!! IT’S BEEN LIKE NIGHT AND DAY. I’m more upbeat, happier, I feel my glow about myself coming back around. And here’s something for ya, Monday it took over 4 hours to shake off all of the energies that I had gotten from Twitter through out Sunday night and Monday morning, I felt disoriented, off balanced, like the floor was shifting underneath my feet. Here’s the kicker of it all….Even a client told me “yea, I noticed you were disoritented and like in a confused state. Glad you are back around” I have to honestly say, THAT HIT HOME FOR ME!! Seems like the only issue, the bitching the everything is directly due to the drama that comes from Twitter. It is also seems like the 2 mth cycle that has been happening, has gone into a 2 week cycle. It’s become VERY evident to me that between the world and I. We are VERY different. The world seems to thrive off of blaming others for faults, and just negativitiy in general, feeding off of others “stuff” and where I don’t even watch drama tv! lol I don’t watch reality shows or the judge shows or that Jerry Springer kind of shit…why??!!! lol There’s plenty enough drama in life. lol..I’m not sure what I’m gonna do about Twitter yett, but one thing is for sure, it’s VERY TOXIC FOR ME! And I’m actually ME BEING AWAY FROM IT.
Now, that the issues have become evident cuz there’s no images anymore…what can I say? hmmm really…not to damn much…after ANOTHER $200 later, ontop the $150 for the company…I know that the site IS SAFE, HAS NOT BEEN HACKED, NO MALWARE, there’s NO SECURITY ISSUES or anything like that. The Site is MARKED SAFE!
What are the problems then…with not being given the time to learn, when I analyized the site the other night, its scripting and coding. header and footers, not placed right, java scripting, coding is fucked up, there’s alot of shit, that very honestly, looks nothing more to me than a mix of Chinese, Japanese, and Mongolion together…meaning, I can’t tell ya what I’m looking at. HA there’s no way lmao..Now that things are such a rats nest, I guess the next $200 will be spent on hiring someone that is reputable, and trustworthy, probably more along the lines of hiring a provider that can take the ropes on the SEO And coding of the site and get things squared away…which I’m gonna cost more than $200, that’s just the start of it. ????What can I say…When I don’t get the time to fix the issues, this is what happens. I can’t help it. I do know this much…my ass is now calling “Uncle” lmao I Need help! lol I can not do it!
On September 1st, all rates will be going up by $20. I hate the fact that I felt it to be necessary to go this far. I hate that the “good” have to pay with the “bad. ” And this is what has happened. Everything came to a point to where it was either I had to weed out those that aren’t serious and like to play games. There comes a time where ya gotta take inventary, look around, figure some things out, and start cleaning house out. This is what I’ve had to do!
I’d like bring attention to the fact that for this kind of business, time is our main product that is sold. And just like stealing from any other store, Walmart or whatever. Those that steal, it drives the prices up, it’s called inflation. This is what’s happened. I’m sorry because i honestly had no plans what-so-ever on raising my rates. But I had to do something to control the freeloaders, liars, and those that arent serious about visiting. And very honestly speaking, I had to start getting ahold of all this before the company got started. And with those forethoughts in mind, this what I had to decide.
A Time Of Reflection
“In order for change to take place, to bring “anew,”
You must first “let go” of the old, of all the negative,
of all that is weighing you down”
With this last “episode” on Twitter that seems to continually taking place, along with having suicidal thoughts with each time that this happens. Each of those times, seems like those “stinky” thoughts are getting worse, they are getting deeper, there’s more visualization, they are becoming very real in my mind. It became obvious with this last time, that I needed to take some time out, time away, to reflect, to take inventary, to make changes.
And while every one of us are preparing for the last few of the months of this year that’s upon us all. It seemed appropriate all the way around that taking time out for reflection, taking inventary of our selves and our lives, both personal and professional be what this month’s newsletter was about.
For me, I’ve spent this whole year literally killing myself trying to make others happy, and not accomplishing it. Feeling like a failure. For me, this whole year has been spent fighting for myself. And while those that are negative only seemed to be focused on the areas in my life and as a person that are not what I may lack thereof. The areas that others may find and feel are my faults, I don’t feel that they faults at all. It’s just not the areas that I’m best at. My best quailites of who I am, what I’m best at and what I have to offer to the community only was buried and not able to shine. Of course, all the negative thats the main focus about me, has been the direct reflection of all of this.
It’s now time for me, to take these last few months of this year…it’s now time for me, for michelle, to do things that make michelle/rogue happy. It’s been made very obvious that it is NOT possible to make others happy and with doing so, or trying to do, I’ve only lost myself in the process.
After “doing others” for so long, when you start “doing you,”
You’ll notice that others don’t like it when you start “doing you!”
With these two quotes, I’m now doing me. I’m not being mean or being a bitch. And I haven’t changed any…I’m still “me,” The only thing that’s changing is that I’m not doing “others” anymore. Nor am I willing to allow others to rule my life. This is my job, I also have my personal life. This will only bring a better me, and in the end will be the reflection of the free-spirited person that I am, that has not yet been allowed to shine through. Feeling good about myself, about these changes, having high hopes for what’s coming ahead. This is how i’m gonna end this newsletter. It’s gonna be a process, but it’ll happen just not overnight.
Much love and licks to everyone! ??
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