Being that we are now in what’s called “Post FOSTA-SESTA Times,” there’s just not a lot of information out there anymore for any of us. I have been looking for a long time for some kind of guidelines, so to speak to put up for the New Hobbyist, as well as a gentle reminder for the more experienced hobbyist. (As we tend to get use to way we had been doing things) Now more than ever, it is so important for both sides to get into the habits of adjusting how we go about the way we do things in these “Post Times.”
I can NOT elaborate enough how serious things are for all of us now. For example, you do NOT have to actually exchange money or any other means of payment to be hit for soliciting. The MERE MENTION, NOD, LOOK OR ANY OTHER INDICATION of making an agreement to exchange payment for any kind of sexual activities, INCLUDING dancing, or anything to do with this nature, IS CONSDERED Soliciting a Prostitute for the Hobbyist. For the Provider’s side is considered to be Promoting Prostitution. These now hold stiffer chargers than before. (I will be covering all of the Texas Laws on Prostitution in more detail in my next blog)
So Here’s some guidelines that can be used when trying to find a provider. As well as ensuring to have the best experience possible with your date from beginning to end.
1) Get a burner phone.. Have a “hobby” phone to be discrete with your conversations. Be ready to prove who you are. And be very careful with hotels staff are now being trained to watch for activities and call police now. But also realize, providers may ask for real information for you to be screened. This is ONLY used for your screening and is also respected that its NOT used for any other purpose.
2)Do Your homework…Just like we screen you, we in turn, should always be screened as well. So, you should always do your research. It also impresses us that you have taken time out to find out more about us and to find out if you’re a match for the date. So, once you find the provider that you feel you would be most compatible with, do an image search, Google her number and/or show name. If she is a reputable provider, there will be history on both her number and her show name. Also, does she have reviews? Is she active in social media? Does she have a website? If she has gone through the trouble and money to put a website for you to have as much information as you can about her. She’s not going to be LE.
3) First Impressions Matter – So be NICE. You are looking to have one of the most intimate encounters that human beings have with each other, so take the time to read what’s in the ad. You will get a lot of info there. Be respectful and let’s treat everyone with the kindness and respect that simply being a human being affords us. If a girl prefers to be contact via email … do so … if she prefers text .. do so … calling is awkward since if she is an independent she might be otherwise disposed right at that time … and whatever mode of communication … intro message should probably consist of something more than “Hi” or “Are you available”. I know that my calendar tends to get filled up quickly so 24 hours or more notice is probably best. And knowing when and where and who you are helps in getting the right information back to you.
4) Ghosting is just not cool…. No one likes to be ghosted and be left thinking you are still holding a conversation when you’re not. If you are talking with a provider and during the conversation you feel you are not a match. Let her know that you don’t feel like the date won’t work, or whatever and thank her for her time. Saying good bye at the end of the conversation or simply saying thanks as an indicator that the conversation is over is ALWAYS appreciated and appropriate.
5) Don’t ask lewd questions because there are legal ramifications that go along with that. Remember that an escort exchanges her time for money which is legal in all 50 States … a prostitute will exchange performing specific acts for money … which is only legal in Pahrump, NV and then only in certain licensed establishments. If a face picture is required …. don’t send a picture of the little head instead. It won’t impress us and personally… I will add an idiot tax to my rate as a result … if I choose to continue to speak with you at all. There are specific forums and cam girls that you can have erotic conversation with, conversing with your escort to set up an initial meet up .. is not the place to do it. While we are on the subject, you do realize that those in the legal profession are allowed to lie … right? They are even allowed to commit minor crimes. I mean it would otherwise be just too darn easy. Ever watched an episode of COPS where the drug dealer asks the guy if he is police … and police guy answers no .. and then once the deal is done promptly gets arrested? … yeah … so all that “are you affiliated … ” or “take a nude picture to prove … ” does nothing. The best way to make sure that you won’t get your name in the papers is to keep to this one simple rule (and it is so very simple) … money for time is fine … money for acts can get you flack.
6) Screening is not only for our safety but for yours as well…Think about this, If LE is doing a sting for a bust, they are not going to be concerned with getting your information beforehand, they will when they bust you, Which can lead up to embarrassment and charges brought up against you. LE is going to be more concerned with getting as many people as they can to bust in the sting, so it can be considered to be Trafficking, and since FOSTA and SESTA those chargers have more ramifications and hold felony chargers. We, on the other hand, don’t have nor want that kind of legal authority to find out who you are. So we are going to want to know who we are meeting with BEFORE the date. So when a provider ask you to be screened, you can be rest assured she is not LE. Also, trust is something that especially in the beginning is not something that either side has and being able to start establishing trust is really important for both sides. If you lie for the screening, we will think that your either LE, or someone that is not good to meet with, and we will not meet up with you.….Also discretion is a MUST for all parties involved. Saying you need to be discrete IS ALREADY A GIVEN… We cater mostly to married or attached men, so telling us your married and need to be discrete, is just telling us that you simply don’t want to screen.
7) It’s all about time. For a real escort, as I just mentioned, time is our most valuable asset, so let’s not waste it. Don’t show up 30 min late for a 1 hour appointment and expect to get the full hour session. If she can still accommodate you .. great! … but that is out of the goodness of her heart. Don’t berate someone for being a “clock watcher” and expect to stay 30 min past your appointment time when it is an hour appointment. There is no industry out there where a person gets hired for 1 hour of their time, where this would fly. If your personal trainer won’t stand for it, why would an escort?
8) You get what you Pay For. Would you walk into a 5 Star Restaurant expecting to pay Happy Meal Prices? Of course not! So don’t expect it from an escort. There is a saying in the restaurant industry … if you can’t afford to tip … don’t eat out. There are escorts in all sorts of price ranges … and if her asking price is out of your range … don’t try to haggle her down on price .. especially if you have already seen her and you know that the price vs value. Would I pay $50 for a Fully Loaded Maserati if I were offered it? Of course! But if you have ever seen these scams on Craigslist or eBay you know that the chances of running across that angry ex-wife that is selling the latest model Porsche for $5 to get back at her soon to be ex … is not very likely.
9) All Inclusive / No Upsells Pricing. There are several reasons to look for this terminology. First, did you ever book that bargain airline flight because the price was so low it blew you out of the water? And then, once you factored in the cost for overhead storage usage, baggage fees, and the “oh you wanted an actual seat with a seat belt and oxygen” fee … you wind up spending more than had you booked on a major airline. Well the same is true if you shop on price alone. If you see an extraordinary low price you can rest assured that it usually means there are “upgrades” to pay for in person. Now the second reason is as I already mentioned .. legally this is opening up a can of worms. Putting a price point on sexual acts is illegal. Putting a price point on the amount of time spent together is not … or otherwise half the bosses who had ever slept with an employee would be in jail. #metoo
10) Don’t click on “verification links” . Unless the girl has major reviews and is charging $1,500 an hour, there is really no need to click on “enter your credit card here to prove you’re over 18” type of links. These are usually scams and is probably the only good thing to have come out of CL and BP crack down due to the FOSTA-SESTA debacle.
11) Go to reputable sites and Include where you saw the ad you are responding to .. While SESTA-FOSTA has thrown a major wrench into this industry … and removed free postings as we knew them … the good news is that despite it all … cream will still always rise to the top … and the more reputable sites have as well … of course (as erotic monkey will attest to) … while the benefits are that sites are offering verified profiles and such … the bad news is that costs for everyone have skyrocketed …With no free postings left … advertising is getting more and more expensive … eros for example on average charges $400 – $1,600 a month .. and even the “less expensive” options still will cost $200-$400 a month … and competition is high and with each website charging an arm and a leg … and SESTA-FOSTA necessitating now advertising across multiple websites and channels … the costs add up over the month … and knowing where our customers come from helps us out on where to continue to concentrate our efforts so we don’t have to pass the cost on to you. Not to mention it adds an ounce of trust and validity to the approach and makes the provider feel more at ease … and just like your clothing choices … which website you used to do your research on .. is as telling about your personality and expectations as wearing those torn jeans with the Brooks Brother’s Blazer
12) Don’t Use a Service Unless you are looking for Volume – If you want a quality encounter and not simply role some high stakes dice on if it will work out or not, deal with an independent provider. If you are looking to hire 20 girls for a night, then a Service is the only way to do it. Just remember though that it will feel much more like a business transaction and dealing with a sales person than living out this erotic gfe fantasy.
13) There are Jerks on Both Sides. Enthusiasm is a better indicator than looks. There are women who are in it only for the money. And then there are women who really enjoy their craft and the money is a very nice way of saying “job well done.” I mean … I am sure you enjoy what you do for work as well .. but you tend to enjoy it a lot more when you are able to collect a paycheck each week (or other week) that allows you to pay your bills and hire an escort from time to time lol. And then there are the people in the office .. or the cashiers .. or whatever … that really hate what they do and are only there because they have bills to pay. So yes .. there are providers (just like there are clients) that are jerks. And you can’t underestimate that not all personalities gel with each other. And no .. not everyone is honest (I have heard horror stories from both sides of getting robbed and rolled and whatever else you can imagine). And if you look at what all these things that ruin an encounter have in common is that there is a lack of enthusiasm for the craft. The key is to separate the non-compatible providers from the compatible ones. Not every provider is perfect for every client after all. And vice versa.
14) Being Punctual is always important for both sides. Remember that we are scheduling appointments through-out the day that best fits you. But we have also scheduled others as well and at times appointments can be tightly scheduled for the time. Please don’t arrive 30 mins to an hour early expecting to be seen early. Also, don’t sit in the parking lot or drive way to an in call that early and wait. That can look suspicious and put neighbors on alert. We may have someone else that had an appointment before you or we are just simply getting ready and trying to make everything perfect for your scheduled time. Also if your going to be late or not be able to make it. Let us know ahead of time. Not only are you looking forward to meeting us, but we are looking forward to meeting with you as well. And as much of a let down it can be for you if we are late or just not show up, it is for us also.
15) Being non-conspicuous about the Donation is normally the best way to be. It’s good practice to place the donation in an envelope, magazine or card and just quietly place it on a table or somewhere out so that it is easily seen or where ever she may tell you to place it. I’ve even had the donations placed in chocolate candy bars and placed in the bathroom, in the beginning of the date. It’s NEVER a good thing to exchange money with anyone…She may even count it in front of you. This should not be taken personally.
16) In the end … It’s not about the Sex but the Brain – This is true in a variety of aspects. For example, if you want to impress an escort … pay her double what she asked … and that will impress her a heck of a lot more than any claims of how “big” you are or how skilled your tongue is. After all … we are the professionals that are being hired by you. We (unlike you) get to have this amazing sex pretty much on a daily basis and probably several times a day. Touting that you take a shower and won’t harm her are not exactly selling points since those should be a given … on both sides. In addition to sexual prowess not being a very good “negotiation tool” as I have already said .. in the US … money for sex is not legal. Money for time is. And how that time is spent is decided by the brain. The Brain in the end, is the biggest sexual organ and if you think back at what is the difference between a “meh” orgasm and a “holy mother of god I just died and went to heaven” orgasm … it was not so much about the mechanics of sex but the passionate soul connection of sex. And this only happens when both parties feel safe and secure and genuinely want to be there.
17) Kindness, Respect and Common Courtesy is ALWAYS FREE!!!…and is GREATLY APPRECIATED. Simply treating others as you want to be treated is ALWAYS the best way to be and goes an awfully long ways with us. We are people with feelings also, providing a service for you.. Please be mindful and remember we are just regular people just like you are and not robots.
18)Keeping it professional… Many of us have professional jobs, are mothers, and have other lives other than this, asking such personal questions such as: if we are married, have a boyfriend, or how much money we make is NEVER acceptable. We don’t ask you such personal questions, please give the same respect.
19)ALWAYS FOLLOW YOUR GUT! No matter what, ALWAYS go with your gut. Even if it may not be anything, it’s ALWAYS better to be safe than sorry. I’ve had situations where someone thought something about my in call was suspicious, and it really wasn’t. Neighbors just happened to be outside smoking. But, if it doesn’t feel right, DON’T DO IT!
20)There’s ALWAYS a certain way to go about things: staying up to date on things and playing it smart about what you do and how you do it is ALWAYS the BEST way to go!
21) Hiding behind The Handle: This is a major problem. We all have handles that we go by, but hiding behind your handle or changing handles is not good practice. Usually predators, those that have been blacklisted etc are the ones that more commonly will do this. This is an automatic red flag for providers.
Hopefully, I have touched on some of the most important aspects of deciding on an escort and having a successful and exciting date from beginning to end. If you have any questions or comments. Please always feel free to ask or talk with me about it.
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