BDSM 101: Know Your Craft

This is the first blog out of a series that I’ll be writing on BDSM. There is so many misconceptions about this alternative lifestyle. In my 30 years of living in this life, I have seen many changes take place. When the movie 50 Shades of Grey came out, this life gained popularity. there seemed to be a shift in change when the movie was released. What you may not realize is that for those of us within this life, that movie was a disagrace to us. And for the most part, that movie was considered to be made for “the lonely wives club.” and has very little truth to what BDSM is really about. Small changes may occur but what the very core of what BDSM really is and the meaning and significance in the meanings never changes. Knowing the basics of what BDSM IS and what gives it it’s power starts with having the correct knowlege.

I’ve taken under my wing and mentored quite a few people that had interest in learning this life. Normally the first thing I get asked when they learned that I’m a slave/submissive is “Can I control you?” By asking this one question, I know that you do not have the correct knowledge that you must have before you start to do any “scenes.”

I was first introduced to BDSM when I was 19, and dabbled into the kink part up until I met my First Master in 2005. But I started learning about it seriously with researching and studying it starting in 2001. The training that I had recieved from my First Master was very intense and is the very core of how I am now. I was trained in the “Old Guard Ways.” There is strict protocol to these ways and it’s really all iI know. So my writings will be based off of The Old Guard Ways in this life.

“BDSM IS FOR SOME, THEN AGAIN BDSM IS NOT FOR OTHERS, it’s NOT for everybody”

While BDSM is very diverse, to me it seems like the older tradition is dieing off. And however anyone identifies themselves,either as a “weekend warrior” that likes to just dabble and play or it’s a lifestyle like it has been for me. The basics of BDSM you must know first. So I want to go over some things I feel that you should know before diving in.

BDSM is NOT abuse, it should be fully consensual by all parties involved.

BDSM is NOT about identifying as a Dominant just bark orders to someone and “control” them all day long. This is actually abuse.

Having what it takes to learn BDSM

Before you can walk or run in a marathon, you must first learn how to crawl. For any person to just jump into some dangerous kink play without first knowing everything about it, is having a death wish and sealing your own fate with it.

Being new and learning about this life, there’s so much that you should learn to be aware of. And in order for you to fully grasp and understand the concept of the decisions that you are making for yourself….as well as for others or allowing others to make decisions for you, You wouldn’t know what all is involved to make the right decisions for yourself. So here’s some things to be aware of that you should really look down deep inside and seriously ask yourself these questions, and answer yourself, VERY HONESTLY. Because if you lie to yourself in your answers, it can be very dangerous for you and your partner.

  • you must have a willingness to change old habits
  • you must have a willingness to let go of judgement
  • you must learn control….SELF CONTROL
  • you must first learn YOURSELF, WHO YOU ARE ON THE INSIDE
  • your likes, dislikes, what you may want to try, what is a definite no-no for you
  • It takes acceptance. Acceptance of the REAL you, What makes you who are you, INCLUDING all the imperfections
  • It takes discipline, SELF DISICPLINE
  • It takes patience
  • You must be willing to be challenged, to strive for better
  • It takes work and time, You must be willing to put in the time and the effort
  • It takes skill, learning that skill
  • It takes HONESTY, being honest with yourself and with others as well.
  • It takes TRUST
  • You must learn what is dangerous and what is not dangerous,
  • You must know the areas of the body, what areas is safe and what is not safe
  • You must know the risk involved as well as the safety measures taken
  • You must be VERY observant, of EVERYTHING, not just your enviroment, but your partner, how they are breathing, their skin color, their movements, their reactions,
  • you must NOT BE HESITANT
  • It takes dedication to learn
  • It’s a GIVE and take, it’s not all about taking

What is most important to know is:

  • You MUST LEARN HOW TO PAY ATTENTION
  • You MUST LEARN HOW TO LISTEN EVEN WHEN NOTHING IS SAID
  • You MUST LEARN HOW TO FOLLOW DIRECTIONS AND PROTOCOLS
  • You MUST RESPECT BOUNDARIES AND LIMITS

YOU MUST FIRST MASTER YOURSELF, BEFORE YOU CAN BE A MASTER

YOU CAN NOT BE RESPONISIBLE FOR ANOTHER PERSON LIFE TO CONTROL ANY PART OF THEIR IF YOU ARE NOT IN CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE!!!

Understanding The True Meaning of BDSM, that IT IS A DYNAMIC, it takes a process of time, effort and work to achieve. REAL TRUE BDSM is not all that hype….

There’s beauty in BDSM, the strong bond that is made, that it goes way deeper and than what a “vanilla” marriage is. Understanding the depths of Total Power Exchange, the bond that is created with TPE and the power in the GIVING THE GIFT OF SUBMISSION, and the power that is felt when you are holding that power of submission in the palm of your hand.. It is something you can NOT get by taking. It IS EARNED AND GIVEN. That power comes with GREAT responisiblities. You must take care of that gift, nurture it and treat it very well. It is NOT SOMETHING TO BE TAKEN FOR GRANTED!!!

The most important thing to remember is :

One can NOT be without the other!!!!

it takes both, to be ONE!!!!!

The first step in learning what BDSM “really”is, is having the understanding that you must first soul search deep within your own self, you must first learn and know who YOU REALLY ARE, and you must first come to ACCEPT THE TRUE YOU, before you can take another step into this life. This introduction was to bring awareness of what you should ask yourself when you are looking within. What’s involved and what it takes.

This series will include the following topics:

  • BDSM Symbolism, The history behind the BDSM Symbol and it’s meanings
  • The three main aspects of BDSM
  • The importance of knowing what SSC and RACK means
  • Understanding each identity role, their differences (slave vs submissive and Dominant vs Master)
  • Learning the Creed’s to each role, your rights and responsibilities
  • Collars and their meanings
  • Property Markings
  • The Ceremony of Roses
  • Scening and safety
  • Protocols and the importance of following them
  • Bdsm safety
  • The areas of the body and contact play
  • What aftercare is and why its so important
  • Slave positions, hand gestures, the importance of having correct formation
  • Understanding body language, what the body will tell when your partner is gagged…
  • The importance of self control and self disicpline
  • The differences between giving disicpline and giving punishment, when to administer disicpline and/or punishments and when NOT TO
  • The differences in a True Dominant/Master and predator, and the tell tale signs of a predator
  • Understanding the danger in being a Novice submissive/slave
  • Understanding the differences in Breaking in a slave and Breaking the spirit
  • What being released means and the importance of understanding what happens to a slave when released
  • What “subspace” and “sub drop” is and how it occurs,
  • What “Dom High” and Dom Drop” is and how it happens and how to handle them
  • Fantasy BDSM Vs Reality BDSM

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MsRogueSA
Average rating:  
 1 reviews
by Johno69x2 on MsRogueSA
love it

After living the lifestyle for 10 years nearly i have a good grasp on the lifestyle and enjoy it but i always find my self learning new things i plan on keeping up to date with this as i would like to learn more and its always best to learn from someone who has more experience

FINALLY!!! aww...that was totally awesome! thank you for saying that. ya know i live in a world where so many take this precious lifestyle and just tear it the fuck up and think that abuse is BDSM, just cause they watch it porn, smh it kills my soul to see this. And to have someone say these wise words You said, it's not something in hear cause im always dealing with such a negative sort of people so much. it's like a breath a fresh air for me. appreciate Your words

NO you NEVER stop learning in this life, even 30 years in this, you dont stop learning something new, but the basics...they stay the same. and these days, ppl dont know how to respect in general, and they dont care ...so...gotta get the basics first ...

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