Down The Rabbit Hole To Find The Greater Scheme Of Things

It’s literally how things have been happening for a long time now. I honestly am innocently coming across shit that I have no idea of what I’m stumbling upon. I have to admit it’s the freaking craziest of things to me. Take for example, one time I’m in the middle of doing a screening, all I can remember is going to google and I dont remember how I saw this, I just happened to click on something ok and all of sudden….it took a min for me to realize what i was looking at…it looked like it was all of hotmails list of emails and passwords, I was completely freaking stunned. or like umm I don’t know i end up just finding or coming across just crazy ass shit by accident okay…it’s just wild how things end up turning up in searches that at first I can’t figure out, I don’t make any connection with things…then one day..it’s like HUH??? lol

The siginficance and reality of what’s happened is like something out of a horror movie. I can’t seem to possibly try to even begin to wrap my head around all these things that I’ve come to realize. If I had not personally gone through it myself. I don’t think I would believe any of it either. As I’m trying to find the words to put things together. There’s just no words to describe exactly what has been done. It’s on a scale of just UN-FUCKING-BELIEVEABLE!!! I’ve got to try to put some of this in my own words before I start getting to all the techincal details and everything. As I’m literally only left with me, myself and I…my haunted mind, and a broken heart, spirit …..and soul. I’m left with trying to figure out how to put together what little bitty pieces are left. And there’s not much left of me. ummm Just literally all has been taken from me. All enjoyment, all happiness, any and all motivation. When I go to start to laying all the details out, im telling you it’s freaking mind blowing. Not that many really do care, but actually this is more for me than anything.

Ya know it’s been over 3 years now, and I mean i’ve sat here and wondered why the fuck so much damn resistance, why so much just pure hatred against me. I know I haven’t done anyone wrong, and especially NOT like THAT!!! I mean every time i turn around I get one fucking ass kick in the gut right after the other. With fucking pointed toe boots. Just KNOCKED DOWN AND KICKED IN THE GUT TIME AND TIME. Ya see, how the world is going through all this chaos. And it’s happening at such a speed and rate that you literally can’t keep up? Well that’s exactly why I never could explain things with me. It happens, it just swirling all around you and you just totally get dizzy from it all. Get sick in the stomach from everything. I mean like why is it that I stay completely to myself, literally don’t have anyone to talk to…NOW NOT EVEN ONE FUCKING PERSON TO TALK TO..NOT ONE ..NOT ONE….BUT YET, SHIT JUST KEEPS GETTING BROUGHT TO ME…..ON PURPOSE, LIKE IM NOT ALLOWED TO HAVE ANY FRIENDS OR ANY PEACE BUT THEN AGAIN, IM LEFT COMPLETELY ALL ALONE. SIGHS I JUST DONT GET IT….

This last month and a half has been a VERY RUDE EYE OPENING FOR ME. ABOUT MY SITUATION AS WELL AS THE WORLD. This last week with what I figured out by accident has literally put the last TWO NAILS TO MY COFFIN FOR ME.

Being Blonde, Tripped and Fell Down The Rabbit Hole…TOTALLY By Accident

This is where it hurts so fucking bad, cuz I mean after 3 years of knowing what i’ve gone through, i NEVER WOULD’VE THOUGHT …I NEVER, NOT FUCKING ONCE. man, HE WAS THE ONLY ONE THAT KNOWS MY BODY LIKE HE DOES, CAN MAKE ME CUM LIKE CRAZY. We had this “thing” …once a week, even though i wanted more than once a week lol…it just was THAT, ya know…he said I had damn good pussy and mouth…and he had that dick..it’s been something was toally satisifying and great sexually. I wish, …These days ya just can’t find that ya know now…especially now with these virus and all. just can’t find someone that you just KNOW THIER BODY LIKE THAT…what happenened?

He wanted submission..I gave it him…BLIND TRUST…I GAVE HIM EVERYTHING FULL DISCLOSURE FULL BLIND TRUST AND TOTALLY LEFT MYSELF VULNERABLE…AND HE….CONTINUED TO LET ME…EVEN AFTER I TOLD HIM PLEASE DON’T HURT ME, BDSM IS ALL I HAVE LEFT….I wish like hell he wouldve just said, let’s just fuck…i wish like hell...but no he wanted submission…he got it…and i cant submit without falling in love sooo…So everything was fine as long i was left totally vulnerable and left open and well it was only one sided…I didnt even really know name his REAL NAME. And he kept given me different spellings on his name. Even after the issue with the married man, and all of what he knows about what’s been done to me, something had told me right after I cut completely cut things with married man, it’s “your sleeping with the enemy all over again” ….and i’m trying to tell myself “naw man, that fucking can’t be possible” ..and i just prayed….and i dove in, FUUUUCK. YES IT’S POSSIBLE I GUESS.

The Difference Between An “E” and An “A” In A Name

So after a year I guess of having him on my Telegram, ALL OF SUDDEN, close to two months ago now, I noticed something weird, and i had to triple look, on Telegram his name was spelled with an “A” …and I’m like “WHAT?” So i go look on kik…It’s spelled with an “E”…I’m like WTF, THIS MOTHERFUCKER FORGOT HOW TO SPELL HIS NAME WTFUUUUCK…”

So I simply asked him, he told me “e” so ok cause i was some stuff together for him in a folder of all the pics right, so i wanted to know…i just don’t get it, my gawd, so a couple of years ago, i had checked his email i knew what it brought up…so no big deal i didn’t think nothing of it, I honestly never really thought twice about anything but it’s when things just weirdly coinciding together that started kinda scaring the living fuck out of me. Like a variation of a name, would turn into another name, and i’d think to myself, i know i’ve seen that name before, then it turned into going from a man’s name, to a woman’s to several different ages, THROUGH MANY DIFFERENT STATES, TO I DON’T KNOW HOW I DID THIS BUT I FOUND SEVERAL CORPORTION FILINGS FAKE BUSINESSES, AND you can tell fake names like “morrrow”in different variations…kinda like “to morrow” and i know that i can that up and it not be nothing….soooo theeeen I noticed the phone numbers were having the same last 4 numbers, with some of them, it like was never ending, EVERYTHING WOULD LEAD INTO ANOTHER AND INTO ANOTHER…and it lead to …a basketball player, camelot, to dead people, to ….WAIT FOR IT….

to SATANISM, …..TO BASKETBALL PLAYER IN SATANISM….TO NAMES ASSISOCATED WITH THIS PERSON’S NAMES, MICHELLE OBAMA, TO ALL KINDS OF DIFFERENT ALIASES……BACK TO SATANISM….DEMON, TRICKSTER, ….AND PART OF THE 4 HORSEMEN!!!! UMMMM DO YOU SEE WHERE I FREAKED THE FUCK OUT?????????????

.…and HONESTLY I WAS SIMPLY DOING WHAT HE SAID TO DO, DO MEFIND OUT WHAT WAS GOING ON WITH ME….

…..In The Meantime….

So it may not seem like it but im actually having ALOT OF BREAK THROUGHS THRU THIS TIME…..im kinda wanting to try to find somewhere that i can actually go to so that i can be able TO JUST CHILL…..smh NOPE NO WHERE CANT DO THAT…I GET ON KIK RIGHT…..so im just trying just to do something without anyone fucking knowing or having to worry about being slammed down and humliated in front of everyone…NOPE CANT DO THAT NOT AT ALL….first of all there is one person up on kik, we will call him “R” , that mfer is imitadating considering HE IS EITHER OWNER, ADMIN OR HE IS JUST IN A ROOM…BUT IN EVVVVERRYYYYY ROOM, I THINK I’VE COUNTED LESS THEN 15 ROOMS HE HASNT BEEN IN, THATS FUCKING SCARY TO ME. its VERY INTIMADATING WHEN YOUR IN MY POSITION. WHEN YOU HAVE BEEN STALKED ON LITERALLY EVERY PLATFORM THAT YOU ARE ON, PERSONAL AND PROFESSIONAL, PUBLICILY DISGRACED AND HUMILIATED….

when i had one of my break throughs...I MENTIONED “THAT I WAS “BOXED IN” …AND THAT AINT GOOD!” I LITERALLY CANT GO ANYWHERE!!! NO FUCKING WHERE WITHOUT FEELING FEAR OF CYBER BULLYING CYBER STALKING AND DEGRADING AND HUMILATING IN PUBLIC.

I‘VE LITERALLY BEEN “BOXED IN” FOR 3 FUCKING YEARS.…AND EVERYBODY ELSE IS COMPLAINING ABOUT A FEW FUCKING MONTHS

Then….Some Things ..just …hit me like a ton of bricks….

MENS GAME OF SELECTIVE HEARING SYNDROME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AND YALL KNOW WHAT FUCK YOU, ALL OF YOU!! MATTER OF FACT UNFUCK YALL SON OF BITCHES FOR THAT SHIT!!!!!!!!!! HERES’ WHY

for three years, i have repeated myself, in every way possible trying to CRY OUT FOR HELP….CRY OUT FOR THE ABUSE TO STOP, AND EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU HAVE CHOOSEN TO LITERALLY IGNORE ME AND CALL ME FUCKING CRAZY AND INSANE, WAS TRYING TO GET ME TO SPEND THE MONEY THAT I DONT HAVE TO GO TO COUNSLING THAT I DONT FUCKING NEED, YOU DERANGED MOTHERFUCKERS NEED HELP

putting me in so much dispair of YOUR FUCKING ABUSE. MAKING ME TO THE POINT OF SUICIDAL IN DISPAIR OVER THE FACT OF YOU NOT CARING ABOUT MY BOUNDARIES, MY PRIVACY, MY SAFETY AND MY SECURITY WHEN IM PAYING FUCKING OUT THE ASS FOR ALL OF YOUR SHIT!! AND RESPECTING YOUR BOUNDARIES YOUR SAFETY SECURITY AND PRIVACY…..YA KNOW THAT ALSO CAN DO ALOT OF SOMETHING TO A PERSON

…In The Fucking Meantime…btw, im not close to being done yet lol

‘,,,,in the fucking meantime....this person THAT IM NOW CALLING MASTER, I HAVE NOW SUBMITTED EVERYTHING LITERALLY MY ALL. TOO…LEAVING MYSELF STRIAGHT WIDE ASS FUCKING OPEN….ok so he is over here on the left hand side, ….AND CONSIDERING THIS WILD GOOSE CHASE THAT HE MEANT TO SEND ME ON, CAUSE HE TOLD ME TWO DIFFERNT FUCKING SPELLINGS OF HIS “NAME” THATS NOT HIS NAME….

so him on the left,.,,.im starting to make correlations with things here that’s in the middle….and then….things are starting to finally add up over there on the right hand side, and HAD IT BEEN FOR HIM SENDING ME ON THIS “PURPOSELY WIDE GOOSE CHASE” I WOULD HAVE NEVER PUT SOME THINGS TOGETHERR THAT ….FUCKING FIT …..FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!

So let’s go back to the Kik groups….ya know it’s the little things that have stuck in my head that has been mentioned to me over time, like last jan someone had told me “ya know they groups of people that do that do that kind of stuff to people.” hmmm yeaaaaa….so WHAT THE FUCK DID I FIND ON KIK GROUPS???

SANTANIC GROUPS, LUCIFER, SATAN LIVES, YOU NAME IT…”BODY SNATCHERS” New identifications and shit….UHHH HUHHHH UHHHH

now THAT FUCKING FINALLY MADE SENSEE TO ME….SOOO IN SHORT BECAUSE I DO TELL THIS STORY IN ANOTHER BLOG THAT’S PRETTY MUCH WRITTEN UP….IN SHORT…

ALL BECAUSE I DIDNT LET THE DEVIL BACK IN MY DOOR WHILE I WAS IN NORTHEAST, YOU MOTHERFUCKERS ON MOCO AND KIK AND SHIT ……HAVE BEEN ON MY ASS SINCE GET GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALL THE RESISTANCE , EVERYTHING EVERY THING HAS BEEN BECAUSE I DID AND WOULD NOT ALLOW MOST OF YOU IN MY HOME ….

CASE IN POINT ….

May 29th,,,,

So Called “Master” and I ….we are at kinda going at it all day long, not really fighting , but HE IS TRIGGERING ME….WHY??? SELECTIVE HEARING SYNDROME! BECAUSE EVERYONE HAS TOLD ME IM CRAZY IM POSSESED IM THIS IM THAT ,,,, AND NOT A FUCKING ONE OF YOU WITH GOD DAMN DEGREE….SO HE SAYS, IM GONNA CHILL….GUESS WHAT I GET

he did NOT KNOW THAT I KNEW….THAT NUMBER!!! SO I THANK YOU SIR, AND LAUGHED BECAUSE SO WHAT …WHATS ANOTHER FUCKING DEATH …ALL OF YOU DO THAT TO “WHORES” WHEN YOU CANT GET YOUR WAY….SO WHATS NEW

How many enemies do you have? he asked

well lets when you men dont get what you want, you get pissy, when you get pissy, and have your temper tanturms you lash out to hurt…sooooo EVERY ONE OF YOU THAT I HAVE TURNED DOWN ….

so i passed that off, i didnt worry about ….he played things off like his account got hacked…well….my yahoo got hacked that should not have had anything to do with his ….SOMEBODY MAKES A NEW AMAZON ACCOUNT IN MY OLD YAHOO THE EXACT SAME TIME….

in the meantime

THAT MARRIED MAN, YEAA HE FORWARDED OUR EMAIL THAT WE HAD BEEN TALKING THROUGH ON MY PROTONMAIL ACCOUNT TO MY OLD GMAIL ….JUST TO BE DEVIOUS AND FUCK WITH ME….WHICH I DID NOT ANSWER….

also im finding and reading articles ON RITUAL ABUSE…MIND CONTROL…SATAN…I’VE MADE CONNECTIONS WITH NUMBERS, PHONE NUMBERS, MADE CONNECTIONS WITH PHONE CALLS TO MY REAL NUMBER THAT WERE DONE TO PROGRAM TRIGGERS IN ME….I’VE MADE CONNECTIONS WITH MOST OF MY VISIONS, ….

NAMES…ANAGRAMS, NUMBERS, SATAN GROUPS…ALL THE PROGRAMMING IVE GONE THROUGH IN THE MIND CONTROL …

NOT TO MENTION….BITTING ITS RITUALISTIC….IT SENDS OFF “HEAT SIGNATURES” WHICH IS WHAT I’VE BEN GOING THROUGH…

STRANGULATION ….IS RTIUALISTIC….AND HE DOES IT SOOO FUCKING WELL, NO MARKS AND I DONT KNOW THAT IM OUT…THAT WAS A FREAK OUT….

WATER/DROWING…..IS RITUALISTIC…HE BROUGHT UP DROWING ME NOT LONG AGO….NOT TO MENTION HE BROUGHT BURING ME….AT ONE POINT…UMMM AFTER

ME LAYING ALL OF MYSELF OUT THERE FULL DISCLOUSURE…AFTER 3 YEARS…AND HE CAN’T SIMPLY JUST BE HONEST AND TELL ME HIS REAL NAME, I WOULD HAVE NEVER GONE ON THIS WILD GOOSE CHASE THAT HE SENT ME ON…HAD HE TOLD ME THE TRUTH…I WOULD HAVE SIMPLY JUST SAID THANK YOU ..THANK YOU FOR JUST LETTING ME TRUST IN YOU SINCE IVE TRUSTED EVERYTHING IN YOU…omg…and

TA THINK I WAS TOLD I HAVE TRUST ISSUES…YEA….I THINK HE DOES…AND I THINK HE UP TO NO GOOD ALSO LOL

so last friday was the last time i saw him….

friday evening i sent him two links to two folders showing him what i knew…and i didnt say anything…i didnt have to…we talked all night friday night, and i tell him its all good, just PLEASE PLEASE I JUST WANT TO KNOW TO BE COMFORTED AND REASSURAED YOUR NOT GOING TO HURT ME….IVE BLINDLY GAVE TRUST AND TOLD YOU EVERYTHING…….NOTHING….NOTHING…

SATURDAY…I FREAK THE FUCK OUT, AND IM SCARED READING WHAT I REAQD, I DONT KNOW WHO HE IS, THERS NO TELLING UMM .

So in conclusion….

ISOLATION, CANT GO ANYWHERE WITHOUT WORRYING ABOUT WHO IS GOING TO DO WHAT AND HOW STUPID ITS GONNA BE, CONSTANT DEATH THREATS NO MATTER WHO IT IS….PUNISHED BY TAKING THE DICK AWAY, NO WORK, DUE TO BEING “PUNISHED” BECAUSE YOU DIDNT LIKE SOMETHING THAT I DID OR DIDNT DO….ALL THE TIME BEING TOLD IM CRAZY AND ALL THE TIME ALL OF YOU NOT GIVING ABOUT MY BOUNDARIES…

MEN BEING CRY BABIES FOR WHATEVER REASON IT DOESNT MATTER, AND LASHING OUT TO HURT ME IN SOME KIND OF WAY

EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU WHO DID NOT WANT TO SCEEN HAS HURT ME BY VIOLATING/RAPING ..(DIDNT HAVE MY PERMISSION!) ME IN MY BED WHILE PASSED OUT IN PAIN…JUST WHATEVER …..ALLL BECAUSES THE DEVIL WASNT HAPPY I DID NOT LET IT BACK IN MY DOOR….HMMMM

ON TOP OF….MAN…why the fuck, man we had a that fucking damn good thing going, all you had to do was just talk to me, just couldve told me “just fuck” ya know i mean, WHY THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME GO THIS FAR WHY DID YOU JUST LET ME JUST BE VULNERABLE…I LAID OUT EVERYTHING YOU KNEW I WASNT LIEING TO YOU, YOU KNEW IT, AND I CANT…WASNT ALLOWED TO KNOW YOUR NAME, MAN IM TELLING YOU

AFTER EVERYTHING THAT ALL YOU MEN HAVE DONE TO ME…KNOW THIS…THAT DICK THAT I NO LONGER HAVE THAT WAS THE LAST THING THAT KEPT ME STEADY….I MEAN LIKE HE WAS THE ONLY ONE THAT COULD DO “THAT” TO ME

So just what did i get for blindly trusting and giving full disclosure, fully submitting and giving my gift of submission???

yall better have your hearing aids on, cuz yall fucked up and made me dangerous

So here’s what you did cuz I don’t think you any one of you thought ahead and really thought this through because you’ve taken everything from me all my enjoyment you punished me You’re leaving me with nothing to care for no dick no pussy pin up stressed up sexually frustrating can’t even fucking make myself come because y’all got me blocked with all that trigger shit took my last fucking enjoyable  dick away The dick that did me right and took all my vulnerabilities took it all and used it all against me and you left me sitting here with nothing but time in my jail cell so y’all have condemned my ass to jail.

I would suggest either a bring me my fucking dick back because I need it or be don’t fuck with me any longer because I just became very dangerous I don’t have nothing else to keep me steady so I don’t care any longer and you know since y’all have been doing your little fucking hissy fits I might just get into mine soon I’m sure if y’all continue with this

And…. since I’ve been holding on for so long for three fucking years now my little hissy fit is going to become a very big one and I’m not going to give a fuck any longer I don’t care I’m to that point but when I don’t give a flat fuck believe me I’m already in jail I don’t give a fuck dang nothing for me but time by myself alone

So I either get that dick back or none of you better fuck with me understood

See y’all didn’t think about these tables being turned you bitches when you took it all and put me in my fucking jail cell like you did now the table is turned now since you’ve been my worst enemy watch it come back on you 10 times 10 I promise you don’t fuck with me I need the money to survive I’m not going to hurt anybody unless you fucking hurt me and I’m fucking hurt enough I need my dick to keep me steady if I don’t have dick keep me steady and the right dick and the one I want cuz ain’t none I want to put it on me at all like you forgot about that shit you don’t fucking care well since you don’t fucking care let me flip these table over

I’m not to be reckoned with now just saying

UMM IF YOU NOTICE IM BEING NICE AS A MFER, I TOLD MY STORY AND I DIDNT EXPOSE A FUCKING THING…PLEASE DON’T OK JUST PLEASE. IM PRETTY BROKE UP OVER EVERYTHING ANYWAYS…SOOO …i guess umm when you have nothing around you that’s positive influence, customers always hurtful and mean, just force they way into your life an dthink it’s ok and just others just because for any otherr little reason just wanna hate and ruin peoples lives …

cuz it’s just thing to do ….you just really find yourself not having a whole lot of motivation towards much of anything …you find yourself just not doing nothing ….and is THE EXACT REASON WHY THIS WEBSITE…IT’S JUST HALF ASSED TO ME AND DONT FEEL LIKE PUTTING ANYMORE ENERRGY INTO IT, YA KNOW WHEN YOU SPEND ALL THIS FUCKING MONEY FOR UNGRATEFUL MFERS…YA JUST DONT WANNA DO IT NO MORE

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