Since i was 10, i’ve gone through a whole lot of things that i never could understand, it’s been over the last 6 or so years now, that these things keep happening more and more getting more vivid. more scarey. And because of all this, my family and friends not understanding, it has caused me to have to deal with feeling abandoned, lost, confused, i fight a huge of lonliness because of all of this. i dont understand none of it myself, and i am forever trying to figure out why things happen the way they do. which leads ppl to think im crazy, or like my mom, thinking ive got a demon inside of me, i’ve lost all of my family and my kids because of all of this, but this shit has happened to me since i was 10, it haunts me and i wish it would just go away and leave me alone. but it doesnt and it won’t. i dont know why me, but because of it, it has led to be the monk the i’ve been i studies and try to figure out answers to why i keep experiencing these things in my life. there is not one perso that could possibly grasp the amount of guilt, lonlieness, fear, abandoment, confusion, just lost as i live with and feel all the time. no one can possibly ever grasp what these emotions feel like for me. a emptyness that never goes away, no one can ever know, and ya know i wouldnt want anyone to kow what i carry inside of me the rest of my days.
all over things that keep happenening to me that i cant understand, i can’t explain, i can’t even describe to anyone cause i don’t kow how to. i just know that its not in my head, im not crazy, even though sometimes it makes me feel like im going crazy. but i know that these things they come in spurts i guess you can say, i guess cause it takes a toll on my body and it kinda fucks up my mind up sometimes. im going to try to explain where this is all coming from. cause somewhere someone may read this, and they may be going thru the simliar things or may be able to help to figure out why i seem to go thru all of this, it’s kinda like I’m a chosen one maybe. i dont know…. but here’s what i experienced this past sat night. on feb 29th 2020
i was trying to get dressed for an appointment. i started to feel myself starting to rise and kinda like start floating. it’s kinda strange weird feeling, where you see the things that are around you, but you don’t quiet recongize them so much so. I’ve gone through this before, i was in pa, i was actually on the phone with my Former Master while i was going through it that time, but at that time i didnt know what was going on, this time i realized it was a transcending that i was going through.
it seemed like the more i rose, my eyes started seeing funny, fuzzy maybe, as i tried to adjust my eyes, like blinking and rubbing my eyes, is when i started to see the earth explode, by the belly. The Earth’s crust The belly of earth just popped, a really big burst and flipped inside out. When that happened i dropped to my knees instanstly and just started screaming, in my eyes it was like in 3D and then i became it, i wish i could draw it, but ok the earth flipped inside out, bursting then all the screams, fire and brimstome, just blood, and fire and screamns and screams and just all of sudden just oh my god ma, i wanted it all out of my eyes, i wanted to go away, i went to grab my eyes, i wanted to claw them i wanted it all to go away. i was just screaming ok, i couldnt stop it, i couldnt stop what i was seeing everyime i think i just freak, its too much for me.
then all of a sudden it was quiet, just an instant, and then my wrist were shakled while i was still on my knees, i could feel the shakles, the chain, the fear i felt , then it was cold and dark, quiet, that sickening eerie quiet stillness, i felt the fear, this seemed to be the 1000 years of peace. ……
Sodom and Gomorrah came to me, i can’t explain none of this stuff, it just comes to me i dont know i cant explain it, but her turning to stone, it seems like she was shown hell, or something to this, because STONE COLD FEAR, yessssss, is all i can just no words, when theres no words, its just….STONE COLD FEAR, thats all i can say…just frozen in stone cold fear, its just that i can’t explain it
then also it came to me, because this has always been there for me, why i read the Bible from end to beginning, i dont know why i did that as a kid, but i did. just something about Revelations, always brought me to studying that book, I KNOW IT WELL. i never harped on the fact that i started with Revelations, but its always kinda been in the back of my head why did i do that. Well, i was more or less answered saturday night, i dont know how to say it now but it was that apart of revelations or something,
see this always so hard for me, because these are pieces of puzzles that im having to piece together it doesnt come so easily, it something you gotta work for the answers i guess i dont know i dont know ok, i dont know all i know is i keep going thru shit and for me, not for you ok….FOR ME, IM PUTTING ALL THIS TOGETHER FOR ME, NOT FOR NO ONE BUT FOR ME, I DONT CARE WHAT ANYONE THINKS I DONT CARE WHAT ANYONE SAYS, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, THIS IS NOT FOR YOU, THIS IS FOR ME TO SEE CAUSE ME SEEING AND GOING THRU WHAT I WENT THRU SAT NIGHT, ITS FUCKED ME UP OK, SO IM PUTTING ALL OF THIS ORDER FOR ME TO SEE….
This coversation is between my Mentor and I. And I talk with Him about this message that I had recieved about “the gathering”??? i still don’t get it quiet yet but this is also the propherices that He has seen as well. This conversation happened feb of 2019. I put the whole conversation but the message and whats important i marked and stared the screenshots, i put “start” those are the ones thats important to take notice of and also thru the conversation of what He says about the end times that’s here….
Jesus in the Marketplace begging for ppl to listen
This i experienced last year, in early march, i have this in screenshots from twitter also when i was telling everyone on twitter what i was experiencing, it was really weird, it seemed like all of sudden, i seen this man just like said in this screenshots like He was begging for people to listen to Him, just like i have been all this time and just everyone walked by Him, and i feel the same this situation was really weird for me.
The weight of “THE Cross”
I experienced this on March 14th of 2019, i had been in the middle of writitng the physic vampire blog, and on this day, i had seen someone from twitter, and after that, i went to writing, it was weird because i was writing this message and then the two writings got mixed together, and i was like whoa…hold up and i said fuck it im gonna leave it just like it is, and then i showed someone that was client that turned and he came over and read this right, and he turned type a message onto this writing, well…he typed “those without sin cast the first stone” but wait, it came out that way, and then when i went back and looked at it, it came out as “FOV LOH” which i have no idea what it means, i dont know where it came from, i have about that, but i had decided to video tape myself, while getting this all this. i sat and i just typed, so you can see, what i was going thru, when i was getting all of this, what it doing to me and freaked out i was about this,its beyond me, i dont know, but this day, i was told and i felt I FUCKING FELT IT, PLACED MY ON MY SHOULDERS AND I WAS LIKE OMG THATS HEAVY, so this message here is and this video is me going thru all of this ok
having problems embedding the video the link is below
this keeps happening to me, i mean this is all my life, this isnt in my head, i dont know but this time sat night, it’s affected really bad. the message seems clear, that we can not change how hell happens, or what have you but we change where our souls end up. i know one thing it’s scared the fuck out of me and i can tell you this, all this happened 15 mins before someone showed up, and he can tell you, i was pretty freaked out, and when he came in, i just had hold me and he held me tight tight for a min and i want to thank him for that, cause i needed it.
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