Fetlife Journal Entry: Another One While in Mind

JOURNAL ENTRY

here’s another one while in mind

I don’t have any more safe spots for me to go to. I come here and I go to my Facebook these are my personal profiles. And when I come here or on my Facebook I feel like it’s supposed to be my family. These are the two places that I can unwind and just let go. Weather understood or not I just want to be me because I’ve never allowed to be me anymore these days. The more often than not all I get is the same thing I get while I’m at work. My job consists of 24/7 day in day out night in night out of working to satisfy and please others. This social platform to me means everything it’s BDSM you see in BDSM is the last hope for me. From the way I was trained in the way I was taught it’s ingrained in me yet and I understood by those who claim BDSM as I keep trying to write in my blogs what true BDSM is. See this place has gotten confused and is used as a meat market. BDSM doesn’t work that way so when I get hit by 15 different people all at one time I’m boarded and I get confused and overwhelmed I cannot hold 15 different conversations all at once. My max has been 7 to 8 conversations at once it gets very confusing and when I blow my top people I’ll go what the fuck is wrong with you are you crazy lol but they do not understand that it’s hard when you’re holding a conversations all at one time this is not BDSM. so no I’m not crazy I’m not dumb I’m not stupid I’m just frustrated overwhelmed and just want to relax for a change. Wear so many tell me it’s so simple they cannot see it from my end when you have 45 people all contacting you past your boundaries and your time to relax when time is so valued and so important to me and when I’m trying to lay down at night just to unwind at 2:00 in the morning. And 10 people all at one time or contacted me just because they have not bought it’s past somebody’s bedtime just to unwind to me it’s not so simple to me the phone never stops all because others do not think it’s important that they wake you up at 2:00 a.m. and this is why I started making phone calls at 3:00 a.m. in the morning to show just how it feels when you’re interrupted during your private time. See if you can’t care about my time then I won’t care if I wake your wife up as well. Always think .. and please do unto others as you would want them to do unto you. Think before you say and think before you do please the respect is asked and much greatly appreciated. Because I have become very intolerant in your simple eyes it’s not so simple when you’re on this side

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