after this morning and the conversation i had in my personal relationship, i am now working on my exiting strategy, im hoping that it wont take no longer 6 months, im hoping …im not losing my relationship over this shit, and both Him and i have agreed something has to change. like He said this is nothing but a broken fucking record, and honestly, im so sick and tired of dealing with grown kids, my kids at 18 and almost 32 and both act better than this shit, i personally cant stand nor handle the inexcuseable unruly behaviour its gotten way out of control and ridiculous, its so not enjoyable like it used to be. and mfers just wouldnt let anyone have a relationship or any life for that matter outside of this. so im really honestly over it all
so yep im trying to deal with my bills and start cutting bills out.
My retiring does not mean that I will not still be active somewhat I’m still activist and I’ll always be a voice. My problems in the beginning were not due to sex work
But the continued psychological and emotional damage that has now resulted over a 3-year period it is it’s compounded on what I’ve already was dealing with with the complex PTSD that I already had I had just got out of therapy when I started in sex work so I was not even that strong in myself before I was worked on and tore down again. Due to that it’s had its own lifelong emotional me for that reason.
Not only that but I have in a relationship and having other people but in and not understanding their place in this business when we always told about our places and trying to have a relationship that really means a whole hell of a lot to me it’s just not cutting it.
My only problem is the 783 a month that I bring in is not going to be I don’t know. I’m not really worried about the money because I’ve never really had money I’ve always been broke I’ve lived on 300 a month but now my problem is I’m tired to a lot of fucking bills that every fucking customer thinks they get shit for free and I’m locked in on more fucking debt than I’ve ever I never had that in my life never ever have I had any debt now I’ll be walking away with more overhead fucking debt than I can just it’s ridiculous that’s my problem right there
If it wasn’t for that I’ll be able to walk away and not look back and honestly I’m very honestly speaking you get to a point where you just done and after all of what I’ve been put through and the continued day and day out of crying I’m tired of crying I’m tired of not being happy because people want to hide behind keyboards and be bullies it’s just not appealing to me anymore and never was.
Now I guess for me it’s come down to how high is that cost and doing this is not worth the price no more. The prices became extensively so high for me my life my body my mental health all of it due to stupidity of fucking men and it is what it is and I mean I hate to say it like that but you know you can only care so much and they’ve done a good job but or through my experience let me just say I’m through my experience done a damn good job at fucking my life up
I’m just not willing to pay that price no more I am definitely looking into wanting to talk to others out there that can maybe give me some pointers on the exit strategy or direct me into a direction that I may need to be looking into with doing this but yes I am very serious about it
What’s funny is is honestly speaking as I’m thinking about everything I think the only thing that would hurt me the most is dropping the website because I won’t be able to afford it because it is a fucking nothing but a money pit and I have found that I really enjoy it it’s customers that seem to take my enjoyment out of that website and I really do like it . I really do like messing around and learning all the websites stuff.
It’s something that I have found after kids that I actually enjoy it just still customers seem to have their way of sucking the whole fucking life for us out of you and taking all the enjoyment that you ever had in throwing it in the fucking garbage and not giving two fucks about it so I think that’s what is going to bother me the most it’s not I won’t miss the fucking abuse I won’t miss the bullshit I’ll miss the website
so this is my formal statement and notice that i am starting on my strategy to exit and i will be cutting back and everything, so you will start to see like jot form will disappear soon, ya know just different i’ve been paying for that i have to cut out now, im serious about this, it’s too high of a price, and im tired, and so is the person in my relationship…..and honestly speaking I DONT FUCKING BLAME HIM I WOULD BE TO
if you havent visited and you are wanting i would take this opportunity to do so. i really would like to eixt in 3 months time, i just dont see it though, i sweaar if i could away and cut the ties and all the rope tonight, i would but it’s just not possible to do like i want to so here’s my official notice