Has The True Meaning Of BDSM Been Lost?

Written for Fetlife, Shared as is

Ya know, when you work in an industry that is both hated…looked at in disgust and looked up to and admired….admired so much that the fantasy of porn is brought into Real Worlds lives…making the fantasy of porn into realities. And almost ALWAYS not understood. When you work in a world where it’s the underground world. Not legal, not seen as a “real job.” Always having to keep up with the laws, what the cops are doing…..See it’s not just the predators anymore that is feared. The fear from those that are supposed to serve to keep law and order that are feeling like they are above the law…when they get serviced during a sting, then bust us…..I guess these laws doesn’t apply to them when a sex worker is found dead after being stalked, and then gets off with a 10 day susepsion ….WITH PAY

When you have a full fledge view of how the world views you and what you do. All the way up to the President, who has himself been one to enjoy our pleasantaries, to the politicans who lobby for these laws against this industry….The same politicans that seek out our services, or..the husbands that are married to Women that are politians unbeknownst to them, that while they are off pushing for those laws, their own husbands seek out our sevices. When you have to keep up with everything that’s in the news, where there was a case brought up about a man “stealthing” during sex…is actually considered rape….down to just a few days ago where in Missouri they passed some of the strickest abortion laws in the country, where a Republican lawmaker, (it seems like i seen something that said he had been law enforcement before..not sure…i gotta find the screenshots lol) cited his views on rape as “Consenual Rape” ….,,,what’s NOT included in these new abortion laws, “the exemption of incest and rape” and if caught performing a now illegal abortions carries a 15 yr sentence.

Sex….it’s most the natural thing in the world, but seen as the most filithiest of any “acts” that anyone can do….When sex goes from “just life” to…..”its now your profession”….

…..Where watching porn changes from being a tool to use for stimulation during masterbation or sex with a partner …to..it being a tool used for….RESEARCH!…….going from ….making those home videos, recording your expereinces from whatever reason…and then having fun and being proud to share them out to the world….to all of a sudden it being how food is put on the table or the difference in having a roof over your head or not! ……or just taking pictures to help a friend……to all of a sudden…..signing a “work-for-hire agreement form” and a “release form” and having to have Workman’s Comp

When you are given this full fledge view and you start to see things in a different perspective, and then you realize that while everyone is screaming out that black lives matter, blue lives matter, and whatever else it was…When everyone is screaming out….for HUMAN RIGHTS…all the while….you find that your life doesn’t matter…. your NOT looked at as human that deserve human rights..being treated in very inhumane ways…

In a time and age, where the mainstream believes that slavery is a thing of the past. When in reality, that’s the fartherest from the truth…..When you see these things AND witness them FIRST HAND….But not just witness these things….When you EXPERIENCE THESE THINGS THAT THE NEWS TALKS ABOUT…OR THAT YOU HEAR ABOUT ….WHEN SUDDENLY….. YOU PERSONALLY HAVE YOUR HUMAN RIGHTS TAKEN FROM YOU…WHEN YOU PERSONALLY EXERIENCE FREE SLAVE LABOR….something starts to happen to you…gradually…at first, it’s not noticed…you start to feel like something is “lost” but you don’t know exactly what it is yet….

….BELIEF…..TRUST….FAITH…..HOPE…

…..THE BELIEF THAT ALL ARE GOOD…PUTTING TRUST INTO ANYTHING OR ANYONE…HAVING FAITH THAT NOT ALL ARE SO BAD…THEN HOPE….

…then all of a sudden when you finally realize what’s going on inside you…it’s almost like to late….

this is where i found myself….I found myself losing all hope for mankind…i found myself…in a world…that in one second flat, you go from being viewed as beautiful and admired…to being hatred and looked at in disgust…i found myself to have fallen into the cluthes of hatred…and just what extremes humans can do with hatred…being stalked…tormented….but not in a way you would think….something much more deeper than any eye could ever see or imagine…..being stalked and tortured and tormented….all done by spiritually assaulting them…NOW….THAT! IS ON A WHOLE NOTHER DIFFERENT LEVEL THERE I ASSURE YOU!!!…..

When you start to lose faith in mankind and humanity…like I have ….when you no longer have trust in anyone….when your belief that all people are good no longer exist….when you see humanity as a whole, being a world that’s full of hatred …..everything changes for you….you start reaching for something that has meaning behind it…that’s worth grasping and holding onto….so that all HOPE is not lost……

I went to grasp…to hold onto…..THE ONLY THING THAT I KNEW IN MY LIFE….BDSM….where the basic fundamentals of TRUST, FAITH, COMMUNICATION, HONESTY, DISCIPLINE…is built on…These basic fundamentals that gives BDSM in its TRUEST FORM, THE DYNAMIC! THE MEANING! THE BEAUTY! These basic fundamentals as a whole, to me….is more powerful…more beautiful …waaaayyy deeper…than any vanilla marriage could be…being that you REALLY work at these fundamentals….the Exchange of Power by GIFT…all these things…my First Master taught to me…INSTILLED IN ME…ENGRAINED IN ME…i’ll always love Him for being as strict of a Master that He is…i’ll always be THANKFUL for the things that He had taught me… as well as being Blessed and Honored that He had saw the amount of strength in me, that i didn’t see in my own self, to be able to withstand what He had to teach me…He saw something special in me, enough so that He choose me to wear His first collar….

Dominant or submissive

When you make this life choice,

it’s commitment for LIFE

in ALL areas of your life!

NOT just for one community to see

BUT FOR ALL!!!!

When you live this life for 28 years, you see so many things change within the life…new things come and other things go…but in BDSM the ONE THING that has ALWAYS BEEN THE TRUE MEANING BEHIND BDSM THAT’S NEVER CHANGED! That gave me comfort, cuz i don’t deal with change very well these days..i’ve always been a loner, not one that conforms, as i sit and watch the world change, the shift that took place last year…in a world that’s full of judgement and prejudice….in BDSM….i was taught….”Your kink may not be my kink” that it’s understood, that we are all different and accepted…

BDSM…..where DISCIPLINE is VERY IMPORTANT….no matter if your a Domanint or a submissive…you still have to have discipline…within yourself first…This holds especially important for Dominants/Masters when upon collaring a submissive making them into slave..,.then gift of life is given…to that Master, that’s one HUGE responisiblity to have…to be in control of another person’s life….you HAVE TO BE DISCIPLINED IN EVERYTHING THAT YOU DO AT THAT POINT….

A life that I value so highly, that I look up to and respect….the only that’s left to me…that holds some kind of values…morals…that has meaning behind it…when you see a world that no longer holds any standards, any value to life…This life I hold onto….the very core in me….

…..I have to admit, recently, i’m finding myself beginning to wonder if this life still upholds the very core of what makes it to be …..so beautiful and powerful….When those that are supposed to be discplined and responisble for another person’s life…are apart no call no shows, when those I’ve called friends that’s a Dominant…expecting RESPECT and expecting explainations,…outright demanding…because He is a “Dominant” while showing no compassion and stating that i was not His submissive..

Those that tell me they take this life seriously…that they are looking for someone that takes the life as such…can’t even send a message, stating He is not gonna show…another one that i have INVITED TO MY FET PROFILE….SITS SILENT…while i have this sinking feeling in my gut…and yet ANOTHER that I have called on my Fet…again….supposed to meet up….after some time of “life” just being in the way, just doesnt show up or even say anything….AND STILL SITS SILENT ON MY FRIENDS LIST ON FET.

Ya know, this is written FOR FETLIFE! this morning when i woke up…i was bombarded again with friends request and all..from ppl all over the world that i have no clue on who is who…everyone can see that my friends list is really small…that im not one to have friends that’s based off “numbers”….This life….IT MEANS EVERYTHING TO ME…THE MEANING BEHIND IT, THE DYNAMIC THAT GOES WITH IT….its the only thing that i’m able to hold on to in my life now when so much has been taken from me…but i feel like this life…it has forgotten to….that the very glue that holds the purpose of this life…it’s gotten lost…and now…im starting get to scared…cuz if that’s the case….for me….there won’t be any hope to hold on to for humanity…

Seems like the “kink’ has become more important than the actual “dynmaic”, those that call themselves Dominants and Masters thats supposed to disciplined and responsible, can’t be even bother to send an email or a text….i don’t know ….ive taken my whole day out to make sure that i wrote this, it meant that much to me, i put the details in as i have for a purpose…because while im getting these requests im sure probably due to the pictures….

THIS COMES FROM SOMEONE THAT HOLDS BDSM AS EVERYTHING! This also comes from someone thats been very hurt, that has alot of trauma due to VERY RECENT EVENTS….this right now, when you see the same people in one world doing acts of hatred…being in this in this world here…you almost have nothing left to hold on to….makes me wonder is this life lost as well……
8:19PM 5-21-19

As a slave, i question how i am supposed to give RESPECT to a Dom and call Him Sir….How does a slave like me PUT THAT MUCH TRUST TO GIVE OF MY LIFE, MAKING MY CHOICES FOR ME TO CALL HIM MASTER WHEN THERES NOTHING LEFT FOR ME TO TRUST? When those that i’m supposed to trust to call them Sir are seen doing wrong in another world????????

As a footnote: Right now there are 28 friends request on my fet i have yet to answer…im not going to…i ONLY ADD someone to my friends list on my fet that i feel some kind of connection whether its from reading your profile, talking with you or actually meeting you…I DO NOT TAKE THIS LIFE SO LIGHTLY, THATS MEANS MY FRIENDS LIST AS WELL!! Matter of fact, my First Master is still on my Fet. i dont just add ppl just for whatever okayyy

My NEED has literally been screaming out for a long time now!!!
I learned a LONG time ago, once it’s in your blood, there’s no turning back EVER!
I WANT to let go so badly, but so far, I see no one I can FULLY TRUST and has the AMOUNT OF STRENGTH that would be needed that would ALLOW me to let go of the control!!!!

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