Ok this is more for those that have not been following me and don’t know the situation. I wanted to start writing this on Mon Jan 21st, but instead I’ve waited and thought about it before I did. As with my promise about not having a repeat of anything to do with last year, including my part. And I have been working really hard since last Sept, and continue to work towards NOT having 2019 EVER be a repeat agaian. So I feel that this needs to be written and put out, especially considering what took place yesterday. This will be placed as a sticky and left up.
First of all, I CHOOSE to do what I’m doing, I am on disability and I love to meet people and I especially LOVE to fuck! I am a Sex Addict and I don’t have a problem admitting it. I also get bored really easily. With my new found freedom of not having to worry about children any longer, I found myself feeling lonely. I guess that comes with trying to adjust to life after kids. Not being able to go to work and no kids, I got really bored. So I decided that getting back into sex work after 22 years of being out of it, would be cool for me. A little extra money and fucking!
But more importantly, it was the compassion I have for others, my love for life, along with that sense of fulfillment that comes when you can help others out. That sense of enjoyment that comes with seeing others happy cause you were able to help them out in some of sort of way that really brought me back to sex work. I also knew that with these attributes and the spiritual gift of healing that I posses, that I could be a positive influence within the sex worker community.
This going on my fourth year being a sex worker again, not many know of my full intentions of what I wanted within this community. Which simply was to reach out to others in the underground world, thats not seen as accepted in society just to help others out in whatever small way that I could. Whether it be by the healing hands that I posses or by the means of just simply caring and listening.
And even though the majority of the customer base that I come into contact with may feel that I MUST prove myself to them. I did NOT come to doing sex work again,,,to prove myself to anyone. I have nothing to prove. And Just like everyone else, I sure didn’t come to doing sex work to have my life and home disrupted, exploited, destroyed, changed, or anything else. I didn’t come to doing sex work to have my privacy not respected, to be stalked, or abused!
More often than not, the perspecptions of what the differences between what is real and what is fantasy has been greatly blurred. For example, the differences in what is actually required and expected of me to do this job, and what customers perceive to be what is required and expected of a Service Provider to do her job…and that of which she does because she chooses to give as a GIFT and wants to give has been exaggarated and misconstrued and is often used as a crutch, an excuse, a cop out to use this crutch to not have accountability for behaviours and actions one CHOOSES to do.
a prime example of this kind of behaviour that I am speaking about is customers perception that hobby life and real world hobby or life in general totally different and that because this to you is “hobby life” you shouldn’t be held accountable for anything that you do or dont do. And while in theroy, and on paper it sure does look pretty convincing. And I know, it’s your story and your sticking to it…I get it. But if this were the case in reality, I do believe that ALL OF US would be taken advantage of this situation!!! And while those of you who are going around trying to con others into thinking this to be true and factual, have NOT conned anyone besides yourselves into thinking that there’s a difference between hobby life and real life that could actually justify not having accountablity. The ONLY difference is, is that YOU CHOOSE NOT TO DISCLOSE THIS INFORMATION. Which if you want to look at it like such, you should be more discreet and responsible while doing “hobby” related fun time, instead of being so irresponsible with your actions and behaviours.
So is it actually REQUIRED that a service provider MUST give out her number or even have a phone number in order to perform, or is it that the customer see it to be the requirement of a service provider to give out her phone number???? Fact is, is NOT required and I have been doing my job just fine without the use of a phone number. FACT IS, the majority of customers doesnt seem responsible to have any such phone number of mine.
Case in point, on Monday, the person that I was to see that was from out of town, starting blowing my phone up at about 6:15 IN THE MORNING. Now, I can understand where one email is sufficent to state the customer is actually getting on the plane and I did ask to let me know …later on in the day, arriving in Dallas, if the flights were on time. The REST OF THE EMAILS WERE UNCALLED FOR.
Very literally between that customer and others deciding since it was a holiday to just figure that I was also off as well, and that I had time to be wasting to just sit and chat all day long. IS NOT REQUIRED OF ME, And quite honestly, when you are getting anywhere between 100 to 200 emails a day and your having anywhere between 5 to 10 customers expecting for a person to sit down and take EXTRA FREE TIME with them chat, IT BECOMES VERY EXHAUSTING, OVER WHELMING, TIRESOME, DRAINING, among alot of other things, THIS KIND OF “HIGH MAINTENCED” can actually wear on a persons nerves especially when everyone is screaming like the life time members, wheres my content and i have 10 other customer who is taking my time away from what im should be doing trying to finish up content for the life time members!!!!
By the time this customer actually showed up for the SIX IN THE EVENING APPOINTMENT….TAKING 12 HOURS TOTAL OF MY TIME, I was totally exhausted.
Also, the customer needs to be aware that the words in ALL OF MY ADVERTISEMENTS COME DIRECTLY FROM WHAT IS EXPRESSED FROM THOSE THAT ARE YOUR OWN PEERS!!! IT IS YOU WHO HAVE PUT LABELS TO ME, IT IS THE CUSTOMER THAT HAS CALLED ME “THE SPECIALIST” THAT I AM THE BEST, THAT I AM A MASTER OF MY TRADE, IT IS THE CUSTOMER, YOUR OWN PEERS THAT HAS WRITTEN THE REVIEWS ON ME…….
I personally never have liked putting labels on any person and I have NEVER felt the need to label myself at all!!! Because in orderr to label me correctly, the labels would be damn near a mile long.
And it seems that just because those customers who CHOOSE NOT TO BELIEVE THE WORDS FROM YOUR OWN PEERS, THAT I SHOULD PROVE TO YOU MY TALENTS!!! …..when i NEVER, NOT ONCE, NEEDED TO PROVE A DAMN THING TO ANYONE!!!
…..Ok So, I’m gonna cut through the chase and just finally just come out and say it,
THE NEXT CUSTOMER THAT SHOULD SO HAPPEN TO FEEL THAT I SHOULD PROVE TO THEM JUST HOW HARD OF A FACE FUCKING THAT I CAN ACTUALLY TAKE AND HANDLE, AND THEREFORE GRABBING MY HEAD AND YANKING ME UP AND DOWN TO THE POINT WHERE I CAN NOT HOLD MY HEAD UP, WORSE THAN GOING TO AN AC/DC CONCERT AND HEAD BANGING DURING THE CONCERT, TO THE POINT OF FEELING LIKE IT I WAS DEALING WITH A WHIPLASH AND PUTTING ME OUT OF WORK FOR A DAY, AS WELL AS BRUSING MY NOSE AND MY FACE ……AFTER WEARING ME THE FUCK OUT AND CRAZY ME ABSOLUTELY CRAZY FOR 12 FUCKING HOURS, AND ME HAVING TO PUSH MYSELF WITH SEEING ANOTHER CUSTOMER……
…… very literally….if anyone decides to they are going to push me that fucking hard, I WILL BASH YOUR FUCKING SKULL IN BY WITH A STILETTO BOOT HEEL….this is not a threat ok….by no means….what this is….is just to let it be known that JUST BECAUSE YOU CHOOSE NOT TO BELIEVE WHAT YOUR OWN PEERS HAVE SAID ABOUT MY TALENTS AND SKILLS, OF WHAT YOUR OWN PEERS HAVE SEEMED LABEL ME AS BEING “VOTED A MUST FOR A FACE FUCK ” FOR EXAMPLE, DOES NOT MEAN ANYONE SHOULD FEEL THE NEED TO HAVE PROVE MYSELF TO ANY OF YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just to give you an idea, heres just “a few” things…
Now, what I have done here, simply stated facts and have made my points very clear without going on a rant or anything like that.
Here’ it is, point blank because I’m tired of playing the “word manipulation” game, this is the second week that I am working on the maintance on my computer. I ONLY HAD 1.33 GIGS LEFT ON MY HARD DRIVE, BOTH OF MY ONE DRIVE’S WERE FULL AS WELL AS MY EXTERNAL HARD DRIVE WAS COMPLETELY FULL that I am having to go through being that I have more than 10 copies of each pic and vid that i have with different markings along with EVERY TIME I AM STOPPED FROM WHAT IM DOING, I LOSE TRACK OF WHAT I WAS DOING AND WHERE I WAS, THEREFORE HAVING TO BACK TRACK EVERYTHING,
I have a list that is 4 pages….full both back and front…totaling to be 8 pages of a list of things that have been in red line, emergency need to done like 2 yesterdays ago, that needs to be tended to.…one of them is emailing adult look to be able to get into my account, being the reason why you see on my adult look that i havent logged on in a month!!!!
That is just to start!!! I am also WORKING ON AND IN THE PROCESS OF BUILDING AND MAKING FROM GROUND UP….THREE OTHER WEBSITES….ONE FOR THE LIFETIME MEMBERS, A WEBSITE THATS AN EXTENSION TO THIS WEBSITE….AND A PERSONAL WEBSITE AS WELL…
I AM ALSO “TRYING” TO LEARN (AS I GO) AND IN THE PROCESS OF SETTING UP ALL THE MICROSOFT PROGRAMS, MEANING HAVING TO DO ALL THESE TEDIOUS SETTINGS, ALERTS AND MAKING AND SETTING UP ALL THESE DIFFERENT POLICIES FOR SECURITY ON ALL THE MICROSOFT STUFF
i HAVE JUST UPGRADED MY MICROSOFT ACCOUNT FOR MORE SECURITY MEASURES THAT NEEDS TO BE SET UP CORRECTLY…
I HAVE JUST MADE 15 LIFETIME MEMBERS, EMAIL ADDRESSES/LOG INS, EACH ONE OF THOSE ACCOUNTS, THEIR PROFILES HAVE TO BE SET UP, THE 2 FACTOR AUTHOIZXATION HAS TO BE ENABLED FOR EACH ONE, AS WELL AS SETTING THEIR PROFILES UP IN AZURE FOR DATA AND COMPLIANCE AS WELL AS SECURITY. i STILL HAVE YET TO FINISH ALL OF WHAT I NEED TO DO FOR THE TLIFE TIME MEMBERS
im also IN THE PROCESS OF TRYING MY BEST TO GET THROUGH AND FIGURE OUT WHAT IS SALEABLE AND WHAT IS NOT SALEABLE CONTENT ….FIFTEEN YEARS WORTH OF IT…THATS ALOT OF SHIT. That is editing and marking and trimming and merging and all kinds of other stuff that I have to do for all of my content
I STILL HAVE THIS WEBSITE THAT I HAVE TO KEEP UPDATED, THAT THE CUSTOMER NEVER SEEMS TO FEEL THE NEED TO GO TO…I STILL HAVE TO BE ON ON CALL SO TO SPEAK FOR WHEN THERE IS BRUTE FORCE ATTACK TRYING TO TAKE PLACE ON THIS WEBSITE, AND TAKE CARE OF THOSE SECURITY MEASURES FOR WHEN EVER THAT HAPPENS …WHICH IS AT ANY GIVEN TIME
As well as putting the provisions and terms for any and all content viewed, bought, downloaded, or streamed into the Terms Agreements
I’m STILL, am in the process of doing a MAJOR OVERHAUL to THIS site THAT IS IN GREAT DIRE NEED OF!!! And I’m STILL just on taking all the pages and all the 200 plus blogs tha I’ve written that I have put BACK into drafts into word doc, backing them up and deletting the drafts from out of the the website. not to mention the rest of the MAJOR OVERHAUL on this site that I STILL havent gotten around to doing yet .
I’m also still working on Stream so that i can offer subscriptions to stream my content which before i go to doing that, im in the process of putting MORE SECUIRTY INTO MY CONTENT SO WHEN I GOT TO CATCHING YALL SELLING MY CONTENT WITHOUT WRITTEN PERMISSION FROM ME, I CAN SLAP LAWSUITS ON YOU FOR COPYRIGHT INFRINGMENTS ALONG WITH PIRACY.
THIS SITE STILL NEEDS LIKE IN A HURRY TO BE FEDERAL LAW 2257 COMPLIANT, WHICH I’M NOT EXEMPT BECAUSE I PRODUCE MY OWN CONTENT THAT I‘M SELLING TO YOU!!!!
OHHH YEA NOT TO MENTION THE 20 PLUS ADVERTISITING PROFILES THAT HAVE TO BE UPDATED AND KEPT CURRENT…….
This list is JUST TO START!!! This is NOT including my home life, things that i have been putting off for the last two years, to accomadate your time wasting games…. like i have done any of my sewing/mending of my clothes for TWO YEARS!!! the bag that i put all my mending stuff in just keeps growning more and more
And the amount of emails that i need to go thru like all of my SEO courses that ive have emailed to me, ive got MORE THAN 4500 UNREAD EMAILS, I CANT KEEP UP WITH THE EMAILS ANYMORE, BECAUSE I GOT SO MANY BLOWING UP MY EMAILS, THAT I CANT TELL WHAT IS ACTUALLY BUSINESS ORIENTED AND NOT, NOT TO MENTION TRYING TO KEEP UP WITH ‘REALLLL” BUSINESS EMAILS THAT IM DOING WEBSITE AND SECURITY BUSINESS WITH EXPECTING ME TO GET BACK TO THEM AND I CANT EVER FIND THEIR EMAILS BECAUSE THEY ARE BURIED UNDER ALL THE TIMEWASTER EMAILS….TO CATCH UP ON AND CLEAN OUT
I GET to the point where im so over whelmed, i just stop cause my head is spinning so bad of what i need to be doing and supposed to be doing!! i JUST STOP….i dont know where to start, so honestly i just watching porn and fucking myself, which btw, due to allll of the stress and being forever interrupted by ppl who just dont know how to take any time out to fucking read, i never am able to reach orgasm level, or if im close …..oone more time interrupted!!! so there goes that for me!!!
So here it is….sorry if i cant meet your expectations and demands of me, im only human, sorry if i dont stop to answer your twitter DMs sorry if i dont stop to answer your endless emails that are driving bonkers, sorry if i tend to get and be a little on the cranky side, sorry if im not catering to playing and be mommy to high maintenced customers just …..sorrry …..but im still in the process of trying to get all these that the customers has expected and demanded of me thus far. and i can only do a lil bit on each issue and go to next and do a little bit, the customer has already taking your time away from doing all of what YOU WANT!!!!!
EVERY T IME YOU EMAIL ME ASKING ME WHERE YOUR STUFF IS OR WHEN AM I GONNA GET IT DONE OR WHAT HAVE YOU…YOUR ONLY PROLONGING ME GETTTING IT ALL DONE FOR YOU!!!
OH AND JUST IN CASE, ONE MORE TIME, IM NOT HERE TO PROVE A FUCKING THING TO ANYONE, AND I DO NOT HAVE A MAN, SO THERE FORE I WILL NOT BE ANSWERING TO ANY CUSTOMER THAT MAY THAT I SHOULD ANSWER TO THEM JUST FYI…NOW IM gonna go take a break and get back to it have a good day…jan 23, 2020
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