I guess I need to give a check list, because it seems while everyone has been pointing their fingers at me, talking about my game, you been pointing trying to tell me something about myself, when your game aint completely on point! See, here it is, you need to make sure you have your shit together when you approach me. Have all your little ducks in a row and know what you want when you approach me. Because, this kind of crazyness, IS VERY VERY COSTLESSLY FOR A LOT OF PEOPLE.
Hell, seems like half of ya’ll, can’t remember ya’lls names , ya’lls ages, ya’lls emails…sometimes ….I just be sitting here can’t do nuttin but shake my head, saying to myself “Yup, it’s obvious dem fools dey been playing up in that Monkey Tree way too daymn much here lately….dey keep falling out dat daymn Monkey Tree and bumping dere heads! Makes dem have a big case of stupitity!” ????????????????????
So for you fella’s out there, that got wives and girlfriends or whatever’s you wanna call them. Here’s a cheating check list for ya’ll so ya’ll don’t go getting busted and then putting me in the middle of it, some kind of way….
Erase and delete ALL fucking evidence: any time that you are doing something that you are not supposed to be doing, please get rid of the evidence! Your history, your conversations, any pics or vids. Don’t be keeping all that on your phone. If so, you wanna get caught! as soon as your done with whatever, delete that shit!
Do you use facial recognition to lock your phone? well, if you do, ya’ll need to know, women are smart especially when they thinking something is up….they can use your face pictures to use facial recognition to get into your phones!!!!
Keep a secure folder: If you want to keep something, please make sure you have a secure folder, and another little tid bit here, ya know all them “system folders” in your androids, your iphones and your computers…yeaa…hide your secure folder in your system files and name your secure folder, a name thats like those files and folders
your clouds: Please make sure whatever you want to keep and download, you have a separate cloud away from your joint clouds, this especially so for those that use Iphones!
Hobby Phones and Emails: This is where these two things do come in very handy. If and when possible, get something altogether away from your REAL WORLD stuff.
Behavioual Patterns: DON’T CHANGE YOUR HABITS AND PATTERNS IN YOUR HOME! you need to stay on the same things, doing the same things that ya’ll have been doing for the last 5 to 20 years! When you change something, our little beacons go “DING DING DING” okayyy
Hygiene Habits: If you don’t normally grow a mustache or a beard or you don’t groom yourself down there or what-have-you, KNOW that these certain all of sudden changes will make your woman go “DING DING DING” again!
Have a change of clothes: ya’ll know that “things” do happen, like when your with a squirter and all….change your clothes before you get around your “play toys, play things side bitches and girlfriends, or your ATF Provider! Also, for you non smokers, this could help you when in places that you shouldn’t be at that has smokers around you. Also keep febreeze around!
Don’t be all happy when you get home after playtime: man man man, ya’ll need to be stopping that shit! lol…you need to be putting that gloom look or whatever look you always have when you walk in your door every day…ya better wipe shit eatin grin off your face. don’t be looking all happy and giddy and shit. If you do this, you are just itiching for a bust!
Have a soild alibi: Make sure to collaborate with whoever you doing whatever with, and have you a solid alibi just in case you get caught, make sure your stories are straight, and don’t be all stuttering and shit, when you have to answer about something, you need to show confidence in your answers…smh…
Don’t bring any “unwanted” guests back to your women!: ya’ll better start wrapping that shit up! How would YOU like it if your women found about your extracurricailar activities by going to the doctor!!??? YA ‘LL NEED TO STOP AND THINK ABOUT THIS SHTI!
Stop Overplaying Shit: Don’t be asking her “when you leaving” “how long you gonna be” and the rest of those 50,000 questions yall ask when yall are up to no good, just STOP IT! “DING DING DING” ….again…lol
Your Scent: If your ass was supposed to be fishing all weekend long, and you were off doing something else, I’m gonna highly suggest, that before going home, you need to make a pit stop to the grocery store! you need to be buying your ass sum fish, have a ice chest full…..take one of dem fish, and you better rub dat motherfucker all over you! just bathe with dat fish! ??????your clothes, your everything BETTER SMELL LIKE FISH!!! Same with work clothes, you BETTER NOT BE GOING HOME ALL SMELLY GOOD! NOT A GOOD IDEA!
And Please, For God Sakes, YA’LL NEED TA LEARN HOW TO LIE!: …ummm this is where I stop right here…cuz i can tell ya, aint none of ya’ll REALLY know how to lie! and i bust ya’ll EVERYTIME! but i aint telling all my secrets…this one, ya’ll gonna have to learn all on ya’lls own lmao…sorry but not sorry….
Lastly, but not least: Please…..USE YA’LLS LOGIC AND COMMON SENSE, IF YOU HAVE ANY….(i can’t lie, some of ya’ll make me wonder sometimes lol) and NEVER QUESTION YOUR GUT!
Now, I Hope that this brings for a better cheating experience, than what i’ve been noticing lately! I would like to add in here, that ummm, i’ve been doing this stuff and knowing this…since i was 11 and 12 yrs old…ya’ll need to start catching up!! lmao…
Now go have ya’ll sum fun, go grab your ATF Provider, and have
Ya’ll a “blast” lol…but do it safely…and make sure if you can’t see your ATF
Provider cuz you done got yer ass busted, there’s plenty of different ways to
show her support!
Much love, ????
One last IMPORTANT reminder: Remember to ALWAYS be ABOVE suspicion
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