Learning The Value of Life

Learning the value of life

Wednesday, May 19, 2021

3:27 PM

It’s obvious that none of you know what that is…. The value of life. Because if you, did you sure wouldn’t have been fucking with mine.

I know for a fucking fact that man that I was seeing for 4 years sure as hell doesn’t know what that means especially when I strangled myself and killed myself more or less for the Man twice and gave him my gift of life and all he wanted to do is bury me and just throw me off to the fucking side. I was a fucking bother to him. By giving me some stupid ass fucking excuse about screen time didn’t even care to make up something worthwhile and now he wants to worry about an emailing me to see if I’m doing well. Why you start caring now you didn’t care before what the fuck is the difference oh wait control that’s the difference …control.

All right well this is how we’re going to fucking play this.

So, you all seem to be controlling my material life. I have no shampoo my toothbrush just ended up being gone the other day with no money to replace it of course. Sitting on your controlling my medical habits my health habits my eating habits I need medicine for female stuff I need sinus medicine before I go end up in the hospital with my ears, I don’t even have a way how much money to get to the store or get to the hospital see a doctor or to buy medicine. I don’t have shampoo to wash my hair how am I supposed to see anybody. Don’t have conditioner for my hair can’t brush my hair if I don’t have conditioner. I literally do not have any of my hygiene needs at all. And now seem to have been controlling my hygiene needs for right at 2 years now.

Since October of last year, I’ve been washing my clothes by hand in the tub. HURTING MY BACK, YOU REMEMBER I AM DISABLED, RIGHT???

I’m going to say it just like this. The way you all been having me and keeping me I’ve been living worse than a nigger. And the meaning of that word that I never say. Is trailer trash. The way I’ve been living the way y’all been keeping me to live has been very inhumane I can’t even compare it to a dog or an animal because the way I’ve been living has been worse than a dog or any animal.

I don’t know why you mother fucker seem to think I owe you something. I don’t owe anybody a fucking thing matter of fact all of you owe me quite a lot. You’ve stolen way more than your share you’ve taken way more than your share and I’ve given a whole fucking bunch way more than any none of you deserve any of what I’ve given to any of you matter of fact.

So, here’s what I come up with. Since I have nothing to lose anymore considering you all took it all from me I wonder will anyone of you learn what the value of life really is if you were to lose your lives.

And since I love you made sure to make me accountable for your bullshit well let’s see how this works.

And since all of you seem to have been directing this movie let’s see what happens when you’ve been given a script to play out.

Just remember all of you are still directing this movie and the ball is now and has always been in ya’lls court.


It’s your choice all your choices now, when you took my choice away from me, I still give you yours. It’s however you want to do it it’s your choice remember that. We can do this the easy way or the hard way like I always told my son. And since I’m dealing with grown kids, I’d tell it to you too

You can either show me how you can be an adult and grown men and hold accountability for yourself now…. Or we can continue to proceed like we’ve been, and you can hold accountability later the choices are all up to you like they always have been.

You can make right with me now or we’ll just take them all of this up to court and you can make it up to me then. I wonder, how much do all of you have to lose???? I don’t have anything to lose anymore y’all continue to take it from me.

I went down one fucking time I kept my word I kept my word ensuring each and every one of you privacy safety and security. I gave you my word and my promise that you would go home safe secure, and sound and your families were safe all the while you took all that from me. And while I’ve been homeless and hungry you’ve been at your tables being like glutton greedy pigs. Sitting there with your families like it ain’t nothing.

So from now on each and every one of you are responsible for each and every one of you plus me. I go down all of you go down. I go homeless all of you go down. I am hungry all of you go down. You hold out any more of my finances and control any more of my life guess what you make decisions for all the other motherfuckers that have been doing the same thing to me you and each and every one of you alone hold your own accountability from now on but now since I’ve been made to hold all of your accountabilities we’ll see how that feels like I’m your end.

The value of life….

There’s more than 130 families, more than 130 different careers, more than 130 different homes, vehicles retirements all of it you hold the key like you always have.

I Wonder just how valuable your lives are to you when you have everything to lose right in front of you.

I figured since all of you have taught me so many lessons and taught me how to hate and judge taught me, but it feels like to be hated and judged I figured I’d teach you a lesson about the value of life. Just how priceless and valuable is life.

Especially when you strangle yourself for someone twice and then let them kill you another two times by choking you out and then on top of that given them The gift of Life.. the only thing I got my turn is discarded trashed thrown away been a bother and shoved up into a room and never taken outside in prison. Oh yeah I can’t forget about the bury thing.


FOR ME AND MY LIFE? I only have one life that’s it. To name my life is worth fucking everything and it’s fucking priceless. But none of you seem to have agreed. Like it Fucking mattered anyways what any of you son of a bitches thought about the worth in my life.

But now since the table is turned let’s see just how valuable your life really is. You make right with me, or we just go to court you have a choice. Personally speaking I’m not like all of you or any one of you for that matter. I know what the value of life is, and I would prefer not to be fucking up anybody’s life but don’t push me and y’all just keep you know keep on with this and keep forcing my hand and we’ll just go to court and see what it’s with court says about the value of life. And abuse and inhumane living conditions and taking my rights away from me and everything else that you’ve taken away from me let’s see what the court says about it.

It’s always been your choice and it still is.

I’m curious though of how you want to direct this script now.


ALWAYS REMEMBER WHAT YOU DO AND YOUR BEHAVIOR DIRECTLY AFFECTS OTHERS AROUND YOU. And y’all’s bullshit has directly affected my life horribly. Oh yeah but you meant it to affect my life like it has on purpose with intent.

PS to that mother fucker that smeared his dick in my face stripping me of my dignity in my own home or what he thought. Considering he wanted our first memory of outside my room to be going to a shelter or to a mental institution. Let’s Put it this way he sure jumped at the opportunity to take me to a shelter while he was monopolized in my time from making money that day. and I’m curious, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THAT YOU ARE ANYTHING TO ME, WHEN I’VE BEEN “NOTHING” TO YOU??? DON’T WORRY ABOUT ANSWERING, I DON’T GIVE A FUCK.

I figured it like this, he owes me a dinner with wine outside of this room with roses and a card with a fucking very sincere I’m sorry apology to it and I’m letting that mother fucker off easy right now. I don’t know why you are like ummm all concerned about my well-being you weren’t concerned fucking before. I was too much of a bother remember your peoples knew about your screen time when I wasn’t even one of your people motherfucker insult me with your fucking emails. Smh

Oh by the way what good are you when your word is no good your dick can work all day long you can have a fine ass black body but if you ain’t got your word you ain’t got shit in my eyes. And none of you know how to tell the truth. ..

And before there’s an excuses just shut the fuck up you ran out of excuses, and you’re welcomes two and a half years ago just shut it up I don’t want to hear it. Every time you fuckers up in your mouth it’s like newborn baby running shit out of your mouth with all that lies, and deception and manipulation fucking keep it to yourself I have no use for it. I’M AN EMPATH I KNOW WHEN YOU FUCKERS LIE TO ME. I DON’T NEED TO KNOW THE DETAILS I KNOW THAT YOU’RE LYING THAT’S ALL I NEED TO KNOW.

And every last one of you had insulted my intelligence.

Another example would be within 1 hour the other night somebody in miraculously started got fever and got covid didn’t want to put in me at risk but the next day he miraculously got better and wanted to put me at risk oh my fucking god yellow fucking disgusting your lies your deception your bullshit bring it to your fucking wives and shit don’t bring it to me.

That is not a goddamn service I fucking provide is dealing with your bullshit shove it your way keep it where fucking belongs.

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