Thursday, November 5, 2020
Let’s talk about my friends or so-called friends..
My Friends Who Take Advantage Of Me
The beginning of quarantine while I was having this stalker situation going on Facebook messenger a friend contacts me ask me if I need food if I’m hungry well at that point in time I had been craving spaghetti so I was like well yeah I can always use the help considering you know it’s always just taken from me and nobody wants to realize just the impact that it really has when every person sucks a little and doesn’t give a little just takes it all from you expects me to whatever so couple of days later he comes by it’s a Sunday I’m exhausted I don’t feel good my back’s out completely out and I can barely fucking move I can barely go… He made spaghetti hasn’t miss a blood bag hands man a very small bud of weed does not even bother to ask anything assumes and expects me to fuck him
Again another time same person offers to take me out we go and go eat wings and have a beer you should relax okay guess what he expects me to fucking I thought I was supposed to relax you realize I have not had one man touch me softly and more than 5 years hurts me every time I turn around yes I like It Rock but God damn my body was hurt you know it’s continually hurting because I’m continually put through the fucking ringer by each and every one of you and you don’t even realize oh it’s not just you there’s way more than you when you know the world continually just uses me as a fucking punching bag and I’m harassing fucking just whatever I’m so sick of this so anyways after the first couple of times when we met this dude here takes me out to eat wings neither time asked me anything just expects me to do it.
The dang he was bringing me the spaghetti I sent I told somebody you know I know he’s going to expect this out of me he’s not even going to ask I don’t feel good today. And he did just exactly what I stated didn’t even ask if I wanted to didn’t ask I love this feeling didn’t bother disregarded me didn’t think once to ask if I wanted to I’m just there and expected.
Another friend, the mutual friend that the provider that ratted me out and made me lose my place on Bandera that I have not still recovered from because I’m continually paying for everybody else’s shit that I’m cleaning up after yeah he’ll roll in every now and then believe and I won’t sing for much I haven’t had sex with him and God knows how long, I’ve gotten to the point I don’t want to have sex with nobody because everybody is taking advantage of me so the last time I seen this one friend I noticed after he left that he switched some stuff out on me and even when I told him that all not to give me what he gave me he still gave it to me anyways and I’m not going to go any further with that point about it was is that it made me sick I didn’t like it and he still switched and still did it to me anyways and I did not notice it until after he left and I called him up and I tripped him out I said this is why I don’t have sex with my friends anymore at all of
I’m going to go even further all my friends supposed friends not only did they come by expecting me to fuck them now they expect for me to stop my work on my computer to show them my porn for free so they can jerk off because I’m not giving it up and watch my own porn for free so they don’t have to buy it and jerk off on my couch while I’m trying to work oh let me see that video of you there let me see that video and jerking off I don’t care if they jerk off normally they just pull their their calories it don’t matter to me I don’t care point being is that again I’m being taken advantage of stopping me from what I’m doing just to use me some more take advantage of me some more and take from me some more and guess what
Not one person will ask do you want to are you in the mood to what would you like and actually mean that instead of just after saying that pounding on me and hurting me literally.
Nobody well take me out of this house without it being a price I’d rather not pay the fucking price I continually pay the price on top of paying the prices to cost this way too fucking high
Okay so out of the blue I guess I all of a sudden just became the person to go to use as a used toy store get that.
I had no idea where this shit is coming from, but yeah so best friend here ask me if he can take my $150 fucking machine out of my house borrow it for girl he’s fucking and return it.
First of all you want to take my main fucking machine the one I use when I want or when I can or even begin to try now because I’m only going to try anymore if I do get to decide to get tried to get in the mood and try one more time to see if I can nine times out of ten will probably be why you mother fucking have it you want to take this out of my house the dildos that go with it and go use it on the girl you’re fucking and not give me any pussy in the process again taking from me even offered $45 I don’t give a fuck why do you want to take my God damn fucking most personal shit I take this dildos to 9 or 10 of them whatever that came with it using on your girl that’s kind of fucking personal don’t you think that’s gross why would anybody ask that but on top of that you’re still a want to take it from me my most personal things you fuckers don’t fucking have any fucking all of you do it to me it don’t matter what it is.
So it was on two occasions he tried to get me to do this and I’m talking pushed me about it all right and I’m continually having to say no that’s a much tad bit fucking personal in my opinion and you’re not taking it out of my goddamn house especially when I mean it don’t even make sense I’m bi and you’re not even going to and she even brought her to my place Superman I brought it out for her to see she been doing anything in front of me no motherfucker I’m going to be like a man at that point bitch you ain’t I’m not letting you bring it out and take it out of my fucking home bitch give it up is what I’m thinking I became a man at that point I mean like really that was insulting enough right I mean just continue the insults please like it’s a fucking billboard sign on my forehead and ass and everywhere else just to continually here you go here’s Michelle and rogue she’ll do it I just don’t I’m infuriated about all this so anyways I guess he saw the billboard son fucking lit up just bring this girl over just to not give me the pussy and share while I share my most personal fucking intimate shit with all of you man.
Friend/acquaintance number 3:
This person needs to come over quite often I haven’t heard from him in over a year then all of a sudden I blew I’m getting kiked right, haven’t heard from him and like I said forever, and I mean it seems so fucking strange and weird that the blue just another focus calling me or contacting me rather wanting to buy my used fucking vibrators. Contact me a couple of times out of this I’m the situation and right now my stomach is so sick.
BECAUSE HIS WHAT WAS REALLY GOING ON AND I NEVER REALIZED IT…. AND YOU NEED TO LISTEN UP AND HEAR ME WHEN I SAY THIS ACTUALLY LISTEN FOR A FUCKING CHANGE.
USING BLACK SEX MAGIC ON ME AGAINST ME PUTTING BLACK SPELLS ON ME TRYING TO GET ME TO GIVE UP MY MOST PERSONAL ITEMS TO USE FOR SEX MAGIC AND IS THE VERY REASON WHY MY PANTIES HAVE BEEN STOLEN FROM ME. THAT’S WHY THESE PEOPLE STARTED JUST LIKE I SAID IT COMES IN WAVES OUT OF THE BLUE WANTING PUSHING ME PERSUADING ME TO LET THEM OUT OF MY HOUSE WITH IT STUFF THAT I USE ON VERY PERSONAL PARTS OF MY BODY OR HAVE USED IT’S REALLY FUCKING WEIRD THAT SOMEONE OUT OF THE BLUE AFTER OVER A YEAR I’M NOT HEARING FROM THEM JUST POPS UP AND ASKED TO BUY MY USED FUCKING DILDOS AND VIBRATORS.
NOW THE CLIENTS THAT DO IT TOO
This one-person plant number one let’s see NAME “R”
From day one that I met him second time actually because he actually was nice, and he went to cancel and offered to bring me the donation and he ended up saying I got to see this or whatever anyways, so it was the second visit actually second visit and every other visit their act worship session he paid for and that’s the only thing he’s ever paid for is a worship session not a full half hour but a worship that’s it. Worship turned into 2 hours twice and hour and a half a few times an hour 45 minutes every time we’ve sat and visited I could it didn’t bother me at that point in time, but it started becoming quite a bit much. And yet I never said a thing about it UNTIL….
Let me make sure to add in here that this whole time I’m just giving him free time and he is acting like he really fucking cared about what was really going on about me while he was talking shit and saying you need to get it you know I need to chill out and you need to do this or you know get them girl the whole time he was saying yeah they shouldn’t be doing that to you he was doing the same fucking thing to me and I’m going to make sure that I stay every fucking one of you do it to me and here it is especially the ones that pipe up and say I’m not I don’t do that to whatever bitch you were the first and the worst ones that do it to me straight up every time.
The night I found the objects under my bed…
So it was in September and well first I couldn’t find my fucking mascara nowhere I didn’t think about it I thought it just fell under the bed I didn’t know for 2 weeks I couldn’t find it I found my mascara on the bed at that point I didn’t make two and two equal four
It literally two weeks after I flipped my mattress took all the bed covering all the covering everything the pads everything off the mattress the skirting and everything off and put it back on there was nothing under my bed that night that I did that nothing but during that time I cannot find my eyeliner short enough for nothing or my lip liner nowhere to be found couldn’t find it just so fucking happened but the starting had been pulled up a little bit and that happened to catch the glimpse I looked into my bed there’s three objects under there.
When it caught my eye and already happened twice before well actually with the mascara now three plus this one four times total. I literally I’m sitting on the floor crying the realization of what I found and what had been going on with me with my eyesight and my speech and the things that I was experiencing and why I was experiencing them I couldn’t do anything but drive up and I had nothing in my stomach really was more dry heaving and a lot of things were hitting home and never hit me hard talk about freaked out fucked up in the head about it scared suspicious everything.
He just so happens to email me why at that time wanting to see me right now at 12:00 so I’m thinking why the fuck all of a sudden you know I mean it’s perfect timing of course everything is synchronized. So I meant to say yeah well I brought it up to him okay I’ll see you shortly just like this late like this, but you know what I cannot sit there and stay with you 2 hours I cannot do it tonight. To
And that comment he made was
” WHAT I HAVE TO LEAVE WHEN I’M DONE?”
MOTHER FUCKER WHAT IN THE LIVING FUCK DO YOU THINK THIS IS AND I FUCKING AM I NOTHING BUT A GODDAMN MAGNET WHAT A SWINGING MOTHERFUCKING DOOR A REVOLVING DOOR FOR Y’ALL BITCHES THAT’S ALL I AM TO YOU NOTHING ELSE A FUCKING REVOLVING GODDAMN DOOR CAN’T EVEN SAY GOD DAMN THANK YOU GOT TO SIT THERE AND SAY I HAVE TO LEAVE WHEN I’M FUCKING DONE WELL DOLL ISN’T THAT WHAT YOU’RE FUCKING SUPPOSED TO DO MOTHERFUCKER I SAID YOU KNOW WHAT NEVER FUCKING MIND I WON’T SEE YOU TONIGHT I HAVE OTHER SHIT STILL WITH AND I FUCKING DID.
That whole night when I realized sex magic black sex magic ritualistic every week and the rest was manipulation and walking the door and I’m a girlfriend but when I realized that my skin fucking literally crawled all goddamn my mom all night I could not I couldn’t fucking scrub enough the amount of violation right just rape continued right rape on every fucking part of my life raping every fucking thing about me you raped my safety my privacy my boundaries everything had got me fucking jumping out my skin every goddamn phone and noise and whatever else literally like a fucking cat on the ceiling and every fucking noise breaks every fucking part of me violated and just I can’t explain I can’t explain and what it got them feels like I swear to God I was trying to cut and scrub my skin so fucking much that night I was cutting through my skin oh God I took a knife to my skin I wanted it off I was scraping this my skin with the knife I wasn’t I ended up cutting because that’s scraped it so hard but I took a knife to my skin scrape my skin fucking clean and I continued to dry heat and throw up nothing that’s how that made me feel I can’t describe there’s none way to describe taking a knife to your fucking skin and I wish I would have had a fucking blow powder fucking whatever you use for crack or whatever fucking gold pad or whatever I wanted to take empty skin my whole fucking body I felt that fucking raped and violated nasty and filthy and dirty and just yeah every bit of it and then a whole lot more …. That’s when I realized with the panty situation was about the toilet situation and the marks that’s when I realized everything it was all hitting me at once and then like I said out of the blue somebody’s just going to contact me and want right now and then turn them in and not even bother to fucking appreciate what had been given to him already while I’m sitting here in shock total fucking nothing the goddamn shock literally I was Shell shocked I and I’m experienced as seriously again being in total shell shock just shell shocked Stalin way I can tell you shell shock I wanted to cut my fucking cunt off of me that’s what I wanted to do that’s exactly what I wanted to do. one of the scraping my fucking skin with that money I want to fucking just cut my cunt out and never see that shit again.
Like said there has not been one fucking area part Curtis crack anything that has not been desperate and fucking used for sacrifice and fucking black magic and fucking damn mother fucking raping violation I have gone through I fucking wanted to fucking cut every fucking dick off and cut my cum out and fucking never be touched in my fucking life again the most sexual woman in the world was taken totally fucking turned meeting totally everything I have enjoyed loved everything has been taken from me used to kiss me and made to wear a disgust me now and it sickens me I fucking drive set in a shower for fucking 3 hours scraping skin never said a word to nobody never said a fucking word not God damn one to no one
Now….. You MUST also take these factors into consideration
To be able to somewhat get a small picture of small smidget why I felt all that and how violated I really do still feel you must factor in the whole fucking picture everything which this also includes….
Again I’m not saying anything bad about anybody but again you have to factor in the whole fucking picture of everything I have why I come to these conclusions and why I acted like God, but I’ve been active again I’m going to stress this
Okay so the night I submitted completely to who guess what I’m still seeing like I guess he didn’t realize, and I know he didn’t, but it just so happened that it worked out this way that right before like 10 minutes cuz when he told me I was walking out the door to go to the store and I gave him my full submission when I got back .
So it is like not 10 minutes or less before I submitted now this is mentally emotionally physically everything I’m when I want to submit everything changes there’s chemical changes there’s everything changes in a submissive body everything 10 minutes or less before I submitted and actually gave it formally he was joking around about burying me. Awesome one of the times that we had weren’t saying I when he told me I could just ignore them or I was letting them do this to me making me feel more desperate panic not knowing how to fucking say all this shit that I’m speaking now he tells me he wants to drown me out now right before then and he had mentioned had not ever been drowned okay so that day that we aren’t seeing eye to eye about things I can’t explain all of this and I’m not even close to being done yet I’m not even halfway there about what I’ve gone through so anyways so he tells me he wants to drown me out that’s two there two marks and two making sure to take all this in a consideration of everything I was feeling….
On top of the simple fact that I found information pertaining to sentient rituals where bite marks are used for signature heating as well as during centennial rituals waste is an offering or a way for magic to being used and I know I’ve never done so but being from Louisiana this is true and when infused or by doing so makes it even stronger you realize my skin is crawling all over again speaking about all this right so all these factors are involved and whether he needs to or he’s a part of this or not doesn’t even matter at this point okay and that’s what y’all need to understand that don’t matter I don’t care that’s not don’t even focus on if he meant to or who did what or whatever the fact still remains this is what I was dealing with especially when no one has a real name and no one has a real number and there’s no faces the whole world of strangers I’m going to get I’m going further believe you me and gets a fucking whole lot deeper it really does…
So him and I have seen each other weekly just about several months here or whatever but family issues or whatever here and there every week for three fucking years that’s it know I’m not seeing anybody else I’m not having sex with anyone else and I haven’t as a sex worker even working on there’s only been I think maybe two if I’m not mistaken but I’ve only that I’ve actually had intercourse with during work one told me I was too tight blew me away.
So let’s list this out really quick
- Panty’s being stolen
- Someone wanting to buy my used vibrators
- Another friend wanting to take my machine out of my home
- February I had two black marks the inside of my toilet
- That’s when a gash was made in my front door
- Very literally speaking once a week having sex it is a ritual then two or not is still a ritual
- Throwing in the mix someone anyone telling me they wanted to bury me
- Drown me out in water or drown me out didn’t matter what it was these are the words used
- I’ve been drinking urine ritualistically speaking yes that happened
- Bite marks
- Not to mention realizing the people stalking me on every profile had names that the satanic or had satanic associations
- Realizing that all these people with the same people with different variations of their names
- I had been threatened continually to be killed told I should die or any variation of they were coming after me
- The continued phone bombings kick bombings email bombings screening form bombings comment bombings on my website
- Screaming out for help to everybody not one person believing me hearing me or otherwise
- Someone stalking me at my door for a month knocking on my door
- Had people knocking on the door to fight and 3:00 in the morning various times various days for a long time after that one-month stalker disappeared
- My property continually being destroyed and used in satanic forms and ways my altar being totally destroyed is what I’m talking about
- Four times now finding stuff under my bed or couch
- Not to mention something that was in my safe appearing all of a sudden at my feet
- I haven’t even explained the shower head yet that look like a noose which was to me a threat on my life
- Not to mention the last thing that someone had viewed on this Groupon account that was married in the name of Mary Magdalene was a gun made sure out of 643 items viewed they left that as the last thing viewed a gun another threat to my life
- We had not even gone over hijacking my name in Google having the names Satan and Lucifer associated in my name in Google
- I have not even gone over the Cityx guide and skip the games hijackings of my pictures and what that that was about
So you see who is who I don’t know it’s everyone it’s a lot of people it’s a lot of no one’s doing something to one little bitty woman and I’ll never know who it is I was scared stay scared and all this and then much much more needs to be accounted for as far as why
On top of me realizing that actual sex magic and the reasons why my vibrators and all have been asked for, right after that I left I left to go with the same person that threatened to put me in a trunk of a car which hey I forgave no big deal but to account he expected I guess to recapture what there was before all that and at the same time my skin was still crawling with all these realizations there was no way I could even if I wanted to no one knows what was really going on in my head I was fucked up with these realizations putting on this together whether it was whether it was on purpose or not seeing it as a whole and a collective this is what I was going through…..
To Be continued.