Needing To Be Made To Cry

Written For Fetlife, Shared as is…Dated April 7, 2019

its hard for me to cry, really hard, and it takes ALOT to get me to REALLY cry, cuz crying for me…is just maybe one or two tears…and thats it. Being under so much stress and just everything that gets bottled up inside, especially when it comes down to dealing with the amount of stuidity that i deal with all the time, it drives me crazy!!!….It was when i was property to my First Master, that i was able to find this as the healthiest way for me to be able to let things completely go…..and CRY!!!!!! ….just to be able to finally let it all go…With the intensity to get me to break down….thinking about it….i don’t think there’d be anyone that i’d trust enough to allow them this privialage to go this far…as far as i would need right now.. it really does get difficult for me having to be Dominant all the time, not having my right balance between my true nature and this dominance that really is foreign to me in my life…like it is now…

not to mention, im an empath, taking on so many peoples negative emotions and feelings…and ways about themselves so much so…that my body just starts vibrating from all the negative energy people carry with them. i cant take on anymore of what people are feeling, the amount of negativity that i take inside me due to my job, its like it gets sooo bad for me that i feel it about to erupt from the inside
like a volcano that hasnt erupted in thousands of years thats REALLY gonna blow when it blows….and then ppl wanna know whats wrong with me or why im cranky or why out of the blue that im acting in such a violoatle way…its everybodys emotions im feeling….
if you dont know an empath FEELS EXACTLY WHAT YOUR FEELING….AND TAKING ON LOTS OF PEOPLES “STUFF” ALL AT ONE TIME FOR ALLLL DAY LONG…NOOOO I DONT WANT TO TALK TO ANYONE AT THE END OF THE DAY…I WANT TO BE ABLE TO LOOK FOR MY OWN EMOTIONS AND BE ABLE TO IDENTIFY WITH MY REAL EMOTIONS AND FEELINGS…AND “STUFF” ONCE AGAIN….CUZ I CANT DO NO ONES ELSE “STUFF” AT THE END OF THE DAY ANYMORE

Comment

I’m totally different than you, yet very similar. I feel everyone else’s pains, yet can’t fix them either. Good writing

My Reply

well thats what i meant by “stuff” …everything…when one of my biker friends was dieing of bone marrow cancer, i took as much as i could when he went thru chemo…till the end i was there for him like that, though i was riding OTR, and never could get a load near where he was, even in his last moments, he knew that i was there for him, he was calling me lo…i was able to give a gift, i helped ease his pain, so it could be just a little easier for him to pass over to the other side. i’ve done that a few times, matter of fact ive got 2 friends right now, one is dealing with cancer and a gf of mine, she’s got a brain disease, dieing…her headaches that i feel, is freaking crippling but….if i could take it all from her, i would! not a question about it!

i would like to ask about your perspective though, why do you say “cant fix them either”? …..it’s not for us to fix, being an empath is to help ….for example, it’s not my place to ‘fix” when someone’s time has come, but i walk with them to the very end, and make that walk just a little easier for them. Empaths are to help…and guide…not fix.. I’m not really keen on that perspective on your gift very honestly. …..that leads me to ask you…have you reseached your gift? have you attuned with it? …do you use it daily…being that empaths live our lives by our guts, where those that arent empaths, live by logic…which to me…most ppl;s logics…just dont make logical sense to me! lmao…

thank you i really appreciate your input as well as your compliments.Reply·on May 18·more ?

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