you know I started looking into narcissistic behavior I found it to be quite amusing to me when the first thing I saw was
other things I saw was dangling a carrot in front of you and belittling you.
hell I have to say that’s a good many of you. and I kind of got stuck there for a little while
so last Monday I had blocked him I didn’t answer any text by Wednesday I think he called me Thursday he was banging at my door I guess because I was vacuuming at the time. so after all the gas lighting and everything in the spamming of my screening forms that I’ve been going through we talked so I’ve told him you know let me know who the fuck he was so he told me after you know I told him what was going on about his name and everything that you know he may or whatever another words he led me to believe that he was going to show me his ID just show it to me just so I that I can know who the fuck he really was after all the head games. in the end what happened was is he was by the door he pulled out his wallet like he was going to show me and then he just walked out the door that was more head game. so I went after him and the only reason why he turned around and came back is because he did not want me to see the vehicle that he was in. so when we came back in more game more bullshit more just running around and deflecting on to me and everything. I ended up getting backed up against my own refrigerator. hey at that point grabbed my arm and went not let go and grabbed it pretty fucking hard and then he turned around and grabbed my neck. and I told him to step the fuck back. which at that point my knee instantly went up into his nuts. I did stop though. so throughout the whole thing the whole time he still would not give me and then just pull his idea out just to show it to me still more head games still more shit so I’ve told him you know you could have been having pussy this whole time you could have just showed me ID and we could have been fucking in there making up and everything and having some hot sex so then he turns around and unzips his pants like he’s you know playing with my head again. yeah we did fuck The reason why I did is because normally when it’s done for me I’ll know it by fucking them. during sex he’s sitting there telling me I’m not as passionate as I used to be. I guess the fuck not I don’t even know who I’m in love with are supposed to be in love with I don’t know who the fuck I’m fucking and who I’ve been given my submission to. after all you know he did say that he wanted to bury me and drown me out which is santanic rituals. after all you know every time it seems like we get to an argument something happens like the lighter behind my computer or you know the Groupon thing where there’s a gun that sthe last viewed or you know like my shower head being turned upside down like a noose. you know shit like that it makes me not want to be so fucking passionate anymore especially when you keep playing head games with me.
you know after 3 years of being with someone you should be able to walk that person out to their car at least that’s what I’m used to doing from Louisiana. about anybody to the car and tell him goodbye and give him a hug and a kiss and close that door and I’ve always told him you know let me know when you get home so I know you home safe. That’s something I couldn’t do though with him so when he left I stood outside and I waited you know he would not drive and leave at the parking lot where he was parked he had to go in the opposite end to leave out the parking lot.
so I was thinking I said you know what so I text him after he left and I said you know come up with something that would put forth something into this relationship more than just coming over once a week for 30 minutes contribute More to this than just you coming by and me submitting everything to you when I don’t even fucking know you is what I was meaning.
didn’t hit me I got to thinking about it you know what that mother fucker it escalated it finally escalated so I texted us I said don’t worry about it it escalated I do have to give it to him though when it came down to it and he could not get out of it and it was him and only him and he could not blame anybody else he did actually say he admitted it he was wrong I’ll be goddamned.
last Thursday my rent was due Saturday I was able to pay some on it and I had $139 left to go every time I go to do something is so fucked up everything is fucked up I almost reformated my computer for a third time on Saturday almost. I have been up for three fucking days trying to figure out the fucked up rat’s nested somebody his name I keep getting bummed with fucking sp am screen forms but with no booking fees he has this ammo going all over the appointments like 11:22 or 4:23 shit like that saying that it’s from adult look and trust. The fucker didn’t know it he thinks he’s being secure on a secure search he isn’t besides me paying through his VPN to all the empty lots and fucking state parks that he does so I know it’s him. I swear I’m so fucking fit to be tired I can’t see straight there’s so much fucking bullshit I don’t know what is fucking what right now.
I have to say but I’m a fucking narcissist can do the fucking damage they can do to a person is beyond anybody’s imagination. Daniel’s is they get you to love them and right when you do that’s exactly when your identity gets fucking stolen and everything I don’t understand how you can do this kind of thing to any person especially a person after three years.
you know he always said that I was a good slut to him he always said that I treated him right it just don’t understand why he had to play with my mind and just give me some peace of mind for a change I wanted with some peace of mind That’s all I fucking want is some peace of mind but I’m never allowed to have that by nobody.
I really believe it’s him because I think he got really pissed off at me when I uncovered the 43 states worth of a scam. ….oooops…and I knew it I knew I was upset Creek without a pedal or a store when I blinked my eyes and said oh shit I think I uncovered something I shouldn’t have
I swear to God I could go for the most intense hardest fucking ever but I tend to forget I’ve turned into a nun and unwilling none since I’ve worked this job
okay so with the aliases that he gave me it keeps looking like that he takes on other people’s names that have died a long time ago and then when he steals identifications he mixes names up with everything. say for example Michelle Robinson that ended up being Michelle Obamaby the way.
Numbers are so tied together the number there’s 7 8, 6 1, 4 4 and a few others I can’t remember off the top of my head right now this seemed to go together oh yeah 9 9 and 5 5 they’re all double numbers which by the way I mean like it was very obvious that by the way.
when he said he was going to enjoy a drink that he text me on my real phone number and threatened me acting like it was “we know where you live, gave the address and said you can run but you can’t hide” and again every time we kind of got into it he recently like when my when my cigarettes disappeared for 12 hours last year and they ended up behind my computer all of a sudden out of the blue but yeah that’s how my lighter ended up one of those times when we were fighting lately. yeah and remember that Groupon account that I didn’t make.
that was under my proton mail account but under the name of Mary Magdalene by the way yeah you notice a pattern… lol that was a group on account that I didn’t make that had the name of Mary Magdalene and even though I did not verify it he was able to get into the account look through $600 and something items leaving the last item viewed a gun. Yes that was a direct threat brother Boaz is another name another biblical figure here. not t to another to another to another they all tie in together like for example Mary may have the middle name of David. like my name had my oldest son’s name in there. I noticed it spanned over 43 states that I could not ever fucking get a concrete hold of who he was.o mention the corporate filings that were fake corporate filings that i found. The list of names goes one when I did finally make some kind of something out lol I found it on spokeo matter of fact and I have gone through every fucking variation you can ever possibly think about by this time of all the names he gave me. I found two births and two deaths that happened at theat the same time this is when I really believed he was an actual demon because in his name depending on how it was really spelled one was the head of the four horsemen and the other was known to be a good person back in Camelot days you see where I’m kind of going with this which was AT&t u-verse that ping to New Jersey which started making sense to me. but guess what it pinged back to San Antonio. lol all IPs that pinged back here or anywhere for that matter actually they all ping to an empty lot or a state park or like downtown on the government offices it was a parking garage that the address gave back. I’ve got addresses that go to River oaks that go to helotes. is email address it says a California address but it’s a Mississippi phone number which is the very first number that he very first text me from back in 2017, but I had a phone number before that that my phone broke so he had before I knew anything about how to do all this he had my original Gmail address. he told me he don’t think about sex which I was like yeah right and owns a kick chat group.
That’s like me saying I don’t think about sex but yet I own an escort site
yea right I mean like the list goes on and on and on and on I can go forever just off the top of my head by memory from the last three months of researching this dude.The information of his MO’s all of his patterns all of his behaviors everything down to a science. my mother always told me that I could be a real good PI because I was always a people person and a people watcher. now that I have been able to hone in my empath abilities when I know something ain’t right and I just can’t put my finger on it you best believe me when I say That’s like mixing the FBI the CIA a PI and a bloodhound all together not to mention another that has lost her kid I’ll mix all that together and that’s how I am
when I know something ain’t right. but I guess he forgot not to lie to an empath. nothing thinking about it if you don’t want me to investigate don’t lie then I won’t go deeper into figuring stuff out it’s when you lie to me and I can’t figure shit out is when I dig deeper lol but if you don’t believe me I’ve got all the records I’ve got all the screenshots if I can ever get my computer back right or my phone I’m having to probably get a new phone trash this computer basically is what I’m probably looking at all because I ran across something lol but if you don’t believe me I’ve got all the records I’ve got all the screenshots if I can ever get my computer back right or my phone I’m having to probably get a new phone trash this computer basically is what I’m probably looking at all because I ran across something that I probably shouldn’t have and that he’s mad about it but I can tell you this and the end I would have never thought it would have been him not the first fucking thought at all.
this is kind of called getting into the mind of my attacker only he showed me something new he really did because I’ve never gone through any kind of the computer shit before The abuse I’ve had since I was seven I’ve gone through enough counseling I know all about that. I implemented all of what I’ve learned throughout my years of counseling over the last three months of a lifetime of counseling that I got because of other people abusing me and telling me it was my fault but my gut always told me otherwise which is the case and it has been the case the last few months.
which is why you see me going in every which direction loose and crazy because I kept getting onto his tail about it and it kept deflecting me not only that and him but you got to remember the married man is in there as well he did the same thing to me That’s the one who deflected me off onto Ashton September and matter of fact then this one pulled it a few days ago last week. it seems like every time I felt good that I actually had felt myself and had confidence and had a good day he was the only person that I was talking to.
very literally the only fucking person.
I guess when he boxed me in and isolated me so much like he did he didn’t think about him isolating himself at the time and which ended in up happening was busting his ass besides me actually studying him for the last 3 months along with everything else.
The other afternoon when I told him since he had put his hands on me and my own fucking house no doubt disrespecting me that he would never come back in my home again I told him I said something about it I’ll take this as a lesson and thank you for showing me my lessons or something like that I said with all the fucking gas lighting you been doing and shit you probably have found yourself another victim.
he said “see you do believe I was doing it”
and I’m thinking to myself motherfucker you did not show me anything otherwise.
I always said be above suspicion
and he is so below suspicion is ridiculous.
with all the stalking that’s been going on on my personal and professional profiles. he had mentioned one time about me just starting over getting all new profiles and that’s what I’m having to do.
That’s fucking exactly what I’m having to do right now.
now that I go back on a lot of the conversations and I think about all this shit yeah just yeah smh
I guess even though I tried to see the good and everybody and I really do I did try my best to see my the good and everybody and that’s probably my downfall I just can’t believe that’s what I met in the very beginning was a lie. I just can’t believe that I tried to believe the both sides are actually him said that I can believe that there are some there is some good in him.. but I really come to think there’s really is a narcissist because if there was any good in him even the smallest amount I can’t see where somebody would do this to a person and he of course is going to swear up and down it’s not him but I mean my God I may not be able to exactly point out his running but I see all the MO like for example the screening forms they all have his name in some variation.
it’s so fucking deep that I got pages and pages about this shit like in the only reason why I’m late cuz I couldn’t make sense out of any of it at all at first and I kept saying to myself that name looks familiar and I’m scratching my head and I’m going I know I saw that damn name recently and literally it was only like to try to make sense of everything I was actually finding because it was fucking far-fetched and so fucking far out there that I was just like tripping but I kept telling myself I know I need to know big time
and I kept telling myself I fucking know that name I saw it earlier and to think it all started between an ink and an a in the name
which was to purposely cause confusion so that’s what the difference is or what’s in the importance between an e and an a and anybody’s name well I mean all of this shit it can mean a whole lot of things
because when I noticed the end and ain’t in the difference in the name I had to scratch my head and go what does this motherfucker does he not remember how to spell his own fucking name
The difference in an e and an a on telegram and I’ll kik
which by the way he told me was not his government name in the very beginning anyways and y’all want me to trust you haha
I blindly trusted someone for 3 years I come to realize when I found on spokeo there was 48 charges on the name that he did give me all spanning between murder terroristic threats attempting murder law enforcement the whole nine yards
and yet he still plays head games with me even though I’ve given him chances after chances after chances and you know it would not have scared me because like my cousins and shit they used to fucking sink bodies in the swamp if dope deals went bad right so and I’ve been around the mob I know about all this shit I’m not even worried about it but you know he made himself out to be suspicious and it scared me why would I trust him at that point and even Sunday after all of this shit with the computer and everything he’s still going to play head games with me when I said the last thing he was saying is you need to calm that wet cunt down
I said you know I’m glad my diarrhea and stress and everything you know makes you think it’s I got a wet cunt
so here’s the suggestion okay The head game I will diarrhea is a sign of a covet do you have any fever
and yet here is where I’ve been going this that and every other direction that’s exactly what how I’ve been doing things how people been doing me exactly that right there that suggestion I told him to shut up because he dismissed me stating the amount of stress that I’ve been under and he gave me suggestion of mind that’s playing mind games with me.
now as a recently since he came by the other day before last or whatever when it ended up with him and I told him that all the emails and other things in the screen forms had his fucking name and variations he changed up his email a little bit this is why it was so important that if you were going to do anything and you want to see me that you tell me the truth for one and you give me your real information and that you’re open with me about something and I’ll work with anybody but what I can’t work with is a lie
and this is why I said send in your booking fee please Said that I know you’re serious because I’m getting slammed with fake screening forms and I cannot and am not going to do that many screenings and believe me it’s a lot of screenings and screw up and use all of my screening points and then when I really need the screening points to screen those that are really serious I won’t have them. trying to break me because I had no money my glasses have been broke for 4 months now I’m pinning less I don’t even have a dollar in pennies I’m laying here dealing with four bills and my rent is due last week he has taken everything I have worked so hard for over the last three and a half years. not to mention the fact about discrediting me to where Even the providers think I’m on fucking dope that fucking pisses me off beyond fucking anybody’s imagination to go through all of this and to have providers think I’m on dope I want to ring these people’s necks and I’m trying to be nice.
that was so wrong.