There’s only a one or two days in here and there that i’m not living in a constant state of terror, in fear of my life, scared of everyone. And it seems like everyday I’m finding things that i just don’t understand like
ya know this whole website is simply me crying out for help, i’ve been discredited told im crazy and i fucking know that im not, daily everyday, i find things in my house moved, changed around ajust a little, enough to barely notice if you wasnt paying attention, then you find things like on kik chat groups the name is Your Secial Hell I was looking under “d” and that’s it, and it comes up Dont mess with satan.
And then once you read that you just “happened” to notice that on your telegram someone that is 4.53 miles away from you has a picture up on them having a black eye!!! that shit is kinda creepy i have to admit
The way things are done, NO YOU CAN NOT FIGURE THINGS OUT JUST LOOKING AT ONE OR TWO THINGS THINGS IS WHY IM REPUBLISHING EVERYTHING THAT IVE WRITTEN. BECAUSE DIFFERRENT THINGS THAT I HAVE GONE THROUGH BEEN TOLD FOUND ….OVER THREE FREAKING YEARS IT’S FINALLY STARTING TO ALL ADD UP!!!
tHE REASON WHY I CAN NEVER FINSH MY WRITINGS IS BECAUSE SOMETHING ELSE IS ALWAYS HAPPENING OR IT’S SO TRAUMATIC THAT I CANT GO THERE I CANT TALK ABOUT IT. BUT EVEN THOUGH MY WRITINGS MAY NOT BE FINISHED IT MEANS SOMEMTHINGN EVEN IF IT’S JUST ONE SENTENCE THAT MAY BE DIFFERNT, IT SCREAMING OUT FOR HELP AND ITS TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT THE FUCK IS REALLY GOING ON HERE. LIKE I KNOW THIS HAS NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE. LIKE YOU KNOW YOU WERE NEVER LIKE THIS.
YOU JUST KNOW….YOU KJNOW YOU KNOW YOU KJNOW ….YOU REALLY DO KNOW SHIT JUST AINT FUCKING RIGHT AND NO ONE WILL BELIEVE YOU.
AND THEN YOU GO TO SOMEONE YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD TRUST….AND TELL THEM ALL OF THIS…
TO KNOW THAT YOU PESONALLY HAVE GONE THROUGH ALL OF THIS YOU JUST GET THAT GOLD COLD FEELING DOWN YOUR SPINE AND FREAK THE LIVING FUCK OUT
The MethodWithin The Madness ….There IS Method, There IS Order There IS Structure WITHIN THE MADNESS I Promise
ok so what i’m doing here is im actually showing you the process of all the shit that i kept finding ok so in this madness of you dont know what is….this is me tring to put things together, and therre was something that “he ” said that stuck with me and kinda spooked me actually….
He said “there is order in chaos” ……that gave goose bumps and still does …now think about that ok…
“there’s orderre in chaos”
Now look around at the wold now….thats BONE CHILLING
YA KNOW HE HAD BIT ME A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO, AND IT hurt (sorry for caps) it seemed like that bite was differrnt that tie then all the rest of the timems he has bitten me over the last couple of year…i can’t explain it, it just seemed like it was different
NOW HERE IS WHERE I FUCKING FLIPPED SHIT!!! THIS IS WHERE I REALIZED EVERYTHING HAD “CORRALATION TOGETHER!! ALSO THINKING BACK ON ALL THE THINGS THAT HAS HAPPENED IN MY LIFE…LIKE WHEN I WAS 19 AND TOLD I WAS GOING TO BE DIESKINNED AND HE WAS GONNA POUR CLOROX OVER ME CUZ I WAS NOT WORTH PISSING ON….
UMMM WHEN I WOULD READ THE BIBLE OUTLOUD AND HE WAS AROUND, HE WOULD GET SO MAD AT ME, I ALSO REMEMBERR HEARING THAT “RASPY” VOICE THAT i HAVE COME TO GET SICKENED WHEN I THINK ABOUT HEARING IT OVER MY LIFE TIME
ALSO THIS “PERSON” HAS MENTIONED BURING ME, DROWING…DROWNING ME OUT…ON MOTHERLESS YOU SEE A WHOLE WHOLE LOT OF WORMS AND MAGGOTS AND SCAT ON THERE, AND IT WAS LIKE IT WAS A RITUAL WHEN HE CAME IN I WOULD “DRINK” FROM HIM….NOT TO MENTION HOW HE WOULD CHOKE ME OUT …YEA WHEN I SAW ALL OF THIS I CANT EXPLAIN ALL THE FEAR AND THE OMG AND JUST I CANT NOT PUT IT INTO WORDS I CANT TERRES NO WAY TO DESCRIBE WHAT HORROR AND TERROR THAT I FELT AND HAVE BEEN FEELING SINCE
LIKE NOW ….I HAVE TO GO DEAL WITH MY FUCKING FIREWALL,,,,TALK ABOUT PPL EXPLOITING THOSE THAT ARE IGNORTANT….IGNORANCE IS BLISS…BUT FOR FUCKING WHO??? NOWT ME THATS A FACT
aA CONSTANT STATE OF TURMOIL A CONSTANT STATE OF STRESS A CONTSTANT STATE OF “WHAT’S FUCKING NEXT” CONSTANT, CONSTANDT STATE OF BEING SO FUCKING TENSEND UP THAT YOUR SHOULDERS STAY STUCK IN YOUR NECK, CONSTANT STATE OF LOOKING OVER YOUR SHOULDERS CONSTANT STATE OF BEING VERY VERY HYPER SENTITIVE TO EVERY LITTLE SOUND AND NOICSE CONSTANT STATTE OF NOT FEELING SAFE ANYWHERE A CONSTANT FEAR OF BEING A LONE A CONSTANT STAT3E OF HAVVING TO FIGHT AND FEND FOR YOURSELF A CONSTANT STATE OF UMPING OUT OF OYR SKIN A CONSTANT STATE OF TRYINT
OMFG NOW THAT YOU HAVE SEEN THE WAYS USED TO ABUSE ….TAKE A STEPP BACK AND THEN LOOK AT ALL THE TITLES TO MY WRTITINGS FUCKING WOW YOU CAN SEE THE FEW TIMES THAT I WAS STRONG, I INSTANTLY GOT BEAT DOWN AGAIN ANYTIME THAT I SHOW ANY FUCKING STRENGTH IN ME IM SQUASHED …INSTANTLY
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