Proper Etiquette On What “Not” To Ask A Provider

A Guideline Of What Questions That Are Considered NOT Appropriate To Ask A Provider  

I have noticed that a good many of you that have contacted me recently are new to the “Hobby” life, both male and female. And Within the last couple of days I notice a conversation going on Twitter between providers and hobbyist about what providers, as a whole had considered NOT to be appropriate to ask us in general. Which seem to be perfect timing to me, As I have here lately been asked some of these?same questions. And even know I had not been involved in this conversation, I thought it would be a good thing to put up here for those that are new and may not have any clue on what may be appropriate and what may not be appropriate to ask us, In general. So from the list of answers that were given from everybody I’ve compiled this list that could be used as a guideline to go by to be able to kind of give you an idea.  

Even though, everyone is different, and some providers don’t mind sharing certain things. For example, I personally, don’t mind sharing my name to whom I choose to. Though you ALWAYS should allow the Provider the choice is she/he wants to do so. And never push for any answers. For me personally, If I’m sharing something personal about me to someone. It should be taken that I consider you to be special to me. If you push me for anything, that will completely take away that chance from the both of us…If you can understand…. 

  1. A Provider’s Real Name?  
  2. If A Provider Has A Boyfriend or A Husband?  
  3. Where She lives? What Town She Lives In?  
  4. If the Provider’s family knows that she does this?  
  5. If She Is Staying the Night in The Hotel?  
  6. If She Has Most Appts Scheduled After You?  
  7. What else do you do?  
  8. Do You Like What You Do?  
  9. How Long Can You Do This?  
  10. Do You See Clients of “XYZ” Ethnicity?  
  11. Do You Have Kids?  
  12. Wants to Gossip about The Review Boards, Brings up other clients and/or Providers  
  13. “I’ll take you away from all of this” Or wanting to save us from this  
  14. How many Clients have you seen before me?  
  15. How much rent you pay for the in-call space that you are sitting in?  

Okay, now to better explain things….  

First off, as a golden rule, ANYTHING asking about other clients and/or providers is a HUGE NO-NO. Why? You ask? Everyone deserves the exact same amount of discretion and confidentiality that you are asking for. No matter if this may be a turn on for you to know. Just simply don’t ask. Think about it, how would you feel thinking there may be a possibility of that provider talking about your most inner personal “stuff” that you have just shared with her, whether your identity is kept private or not…ewwww, right???? That thought gives you the creeps, maybe? Or maybe, makes you feel violated?  So, if these thoughts kind of makes you feel uncomfortable, think about your fellow clients and how they would feel.  

Secondly, there is a difference between someone that we have not met yet to someone that we have seen on several occasions that we have gotten close with. For a potential client that is speaking with a provider for the first time, to not really be talkative (like what happened to me the other night), and to directly ask me if I have any kids, and if I have a husband. To us, you have just crossed our boundaries, you have become invasive, possibly fishing for information, put us on guard automatically, with the thought you might be a potential stalker (you have, to remember this is what we deal with on a daily basis) and is just down right rude.   

As a whole the providers in this conversation, many said that they will block you if especially if numbers 2,3, and 4 are asked. With one provider stating that asking number 11, was really creepy to her. Another provider had made the statement of, imagine while you are in the middle, and stop for a client to ask, does your family know you do this? Etc. She asked, how would feel if this happened to you? To me, the thought of either side doing this, is really creepy and wrong on every level.   

In turn, a provider should not ask a client if they have a Significant other, etc. That is your personal business and for both client and provider these personal details should only be divulged once you have established some kind of client/provider relationship and are both comfortable through “conversation” to share these details, not by being “grilled” and having 20 questions rudely being asked.   

To end this, simply think before you ask, and both parties should simply have respect for each other’s side and situations. With my closing of this blog, This tweet the has gotten 763 likes, 258 Retweet’s  and 60 comments of both providers and hobbiest…Basically what it comes down to is, when visiting a provider, keep the conversation to bedroom conversation, if any at all or keep the conversation on general terms…weather, sports etc.   

So I hope this helps to put things in a better prospective as well as some insight,   

Thanks, Much Love To All 


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