Somebody: That Isnt Somebody: That Isnt Anybody: Just a Fictious Name: My Tumblr Writings

i’d like to add a couple of things in here on this one a while back, i had a regular, i got kinda close with him, i shared many things with this person as we talked over time..the first person i shared about my son with…well months went by, he was trying to get in touch with me, telling me a name i havent heard of, then gives me his old number, come to find out, he forgot the name he had given me before, what i knew him as, …to make the long story short, i ended up calling him “mr four names” cuz i didnt know what to call him, that had really hurt me pretty badly cuz i felt like he was my friend, come to find out,,, he was just a fictious nobody…updating 6-20..ya know i gave that man more than a chance, he contacted continually wanting to see me, i even told him, i wont do a screening on, but if you come by, show me your ID, i wanna know who im fucking and who’s dick it belongs to…ya know…he stood me up many times but still continued to contact me…welll…..the ending of that …i guess Mr. Nobody, I guess I’ll always be calling him…Mr Four Names….

Secondly, I’m real,  who your fucking, is all me, theres no nothing behind the curtain when your fucking me, your getting ME…i give of myself and i wanna know that the dick that im sucking and fucking, the person attached to that dick, is REALLY who you say you are and not a fake ass moherfucker, if the only thing thats real about you is your dick, i dont want it, if your fake, go find someone thats fake, but here, im real, i want real! 

Somebody…That Isnt  Somebody….That Isnt Anybody…..Just a Fictious Name 

As I’m sitting here still shaking I need to write this as y’all know this is my out cuz I have no other out. There are so many of you coming back around from my past of Backpage. There are so many of you I am finding out that did not give me your real name. I Just sit and think how I could have been dead really frightens the fuck out of me. I didn’t know what screening was then and being so much of a trusting soul that I’ve always been takes everybody at face value. I have to thank the gods above that I’m alive through this past year. I just had someone earlier cuz I’m still going back and forth to the email only way I find out that it’s not your real name that you gave me is when y’all are you really don’t remember me giving me another name now, oh yeah I remember each one of you, I remember what I shared with you. It makes my skin crawl to know that I’ve shared a part of my soul with somebody that isn’t somebody that isn’t anybody….just a fictitious name. I Cry now knowing I shared part of me with somebody that doesn’t even exist.and all of a sudden it gets twisted on me when the information isn’t given to me to make sure I know who I’m fucking. It’s all my fault. My God I have to say it’s you people that has killed a trusting soul and made this person so untrusting of everything in her life. Y’all are making me so hard around my heart. Y’all are the reasons for the screening that I have now that seems to be pretty much perfect. I have been lied to so much when with me theres really no reason to, none at all. I have open myself up to the point of danger I can’t open myself up anymore than i have. But yet, its still my fault that I want to know the person that I have coming into my home, yes IT IS MY HOME, and I want to know who I’m in MY bed sharing it with for that time and given MYSELF to. I don’t see WHERE that’s much to ask for. It seems like those people that are coming back around from last year those are the ones that have the problem letting me know who they really are. these are the kinds of people I’ve been dealing with as far as time-wasters, window Shoppers and bullshitters and God knows whatever else I’m not going to speak of that I have found out. Lord knows all I can say is thank God I’m still here. But if you people that are coming back around wonder why I’m screening you this is the reason because 9 times out of 10 you’re not the person I thought you were. And I just want to make something I know who I’m inviting into my home 

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