(please understand that thru all this…im not angry…im tired…im just plain out tired…and i want the cycle to be stopped…thats it…if i have to stand my ground for it to stop then i will do so….but im NOT angry. you wont be able to understand unless you see just how things REALLY are, you can only see one person, you, but for me its ALOT of you’s all at one time can you imagine your phone going off every 15 seconds 24/7 and you trying to get something done that everyone is begging you to get done but you cant well….think about it)
Considering right now I’m about to scream and blow up. and considering one more Saturday since everybody seems to be off and have free time that they think Michelle has fucking free time to just hit me up I figured I need to give a reality check and put some things in perspective because I cannot go through this no more my stomach is turning and not and I’m literally every time they going to try to do something I get stopped for what….. NOTHING! ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!
Literally every time I try to go to pick up my pen to try to start writing something I literally have to put it down and this is within seconds of everybody just hitting me up every few seconds I go to pick up my pen and I have to put it back down it’s wearing me fucking out just picking up my goddamn pen believe that
Needless to say the amount of time spent on frivolous shit I can honestly tell you I can find better things to do with my time than the bullshit that I’ve been getting seems like every Saturday now, and lets not forget that it IS daily thing…..it’s becoming a habit that needs to be broken. Hell I could be fucking myself, and even that…..every time I go to try to, what happens??? My phone goes off, my emails go off, my kik goes off …both of them, Facebook messenger goes off…needless to say I can continue on with all the apps that I have. I’m sick of it. Can’t even get a screening done like this which is why I try to pick up my pen all day long so that I can do what I need to do.
Okay to bring everybody up to speed what has happened to bring me to the point that I’m at because everybody needs to know exactly where I’m at so there are no surprises because I don’t like surprises like this so I would not want you to be so surprised which is no surprise cuz I’ve been saying it for a long time before the new people around yeah I respect that.
The Perfect Way To Start The Week….
Monday morning started with a Bang! Nuttin like having damn good BBC get my morning started and give me a whole lot of motivation! No lie! lol….hmmm Thats about as far as it got. lol So after He left…I shouldve never gone onto Facebook….this is what I found….
ok…..sooo THAT hit me like a ton of bricks. I’ll explain more in detail in min. I tried my best to shake it off, stay in my good mood. So I told myself that I wasnt gonna let that bother me so much…Truth be told, to myself, that was a SWIFT HARD KICK TO MY GUT. no lie! but ok….I kept truckin….
So with me TRYING to shrug off the anniversary day about my son…I said, “yea…lets do something good for motivational monday. I’ll go ahead and post a video”…and i posted the whole video…not just a 10/15 second clip…I posted all of it…So I put it up on Motherless…Then the website, Twitter, and Switter. And I was hungry also, being the dick o holic that I am, I needed to be fed anyways…hmmm……alll the while in the back of my mind, i KNEW rent was due come noon…my stomach was in total knots…Even though I knew what I was facing, what I was dealing with…between my son Ashton and rent…..man…….And Then…..
…And Then…The Hardest Kick In The Gut From That Steel Toe Boot One More Time
…..Someone just has to come along and fuck shit up…fuck up my good mood….that I was TRYING TO HAVE AND KEEP…..I go to my adultlook profile…This is what I found….
I found this….this is of course after what’s below was put on my adult look profile…so the above, futher humiliation and degrading me, treating me like shit..yeaaa that was what broke this camels back
….And To Top It Off...ONE MORE TIME
All This Is From ONE PERSON….
STARTED WED…IVE NEVER SAID A WORD…FROM MIDNIGHT DURING THE NIGHT TODAY TILL NOW…LOOOK AT HOW IM TALKED TO!!!!!! I GUESS HE DONT NEED TO BE SKULL FUCKED THAT FUCKING BAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So Back To Monday
Somehow i passed out, thats what saved my life…i keep THREE OPEN KNIVES BY ME AT ALL….THREEEE KNIVES, me passing out… kept me from using one those knives on myself!!!!!! think about it, if i can’t pay rent, HOW THE LIVING FUCK AM I GONNA BE ABLE TO GET ALL OF WHAT I HAVE OUT OF HERE, AND JUST WHERE THE FUCK AM I GONNA GO SINCE THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO SUPPORT SYSTEM ANYWHERE THAT COULD HELP OR WOULD WANT TO, SINCE ALL I GET IS NOTHING RESISTENCE!!! thats not to mention the other stuff i have for protection…which i wouldnt need a fucking a thing the way people got me right now…i literally at this very moment could kill someone by just my bare hands…..yall never know when to fucking leave me alone! ive been hiding in my fucking nice comfy prison cell all week………..YOU MOTHERFUCKERS COME FIND ME AND DIRVE ME OUT MY MIND MY GAWD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND THEN TO TURN AROUND AND TELL ME “AND ANOTHER THING”
NOOOOO MOTHERFUCKER IM GONNA TELL YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU ANOTHER FUCKING THING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
…..HERES LAST NIGHTS POST BEFORE BEING CENSORED AND AFTER….YALLL BETTER TAKE NOTICE……….
These first two pics, yea thats what the stress has done to me!!! The shit I went thru 6 days ago….on monday just an HOUR BEFORE I had a visit, i had dropped to my knees in the shower, my gut was killing me, and i just fucking fell apart, over what my son did, over what i found on adultlook, over the abuse, over all of it, i couldnt go nooo more….i was scared to walk in heels because i was so weak, i had fallen 3 times, when i got out of the shower….these pics were taken 20 mins before he showed up!!! …….BUT GUESS WHAT…….
THESE WERE TAKEN FRIDAY, RIGHT BEFORE AN APPT…..THE AMOUNT OF STRESS THAT I DEAL WITH 24/7 HAS DONE THIS TO MY FACE!!!!! THIS IS WHAT YALL DONT SEE, WHAT YALL HAVE DONE TO ME!!! THIS IS WHAT YOU DONT WANNA SEE…BUT I NOW HAVE TO SEE ALL THE TIME, I HAVE TO NOW ACCEPT THIS ABOUT MY BODY….MFERS IF I HAVE ACCEPT THIS…YOUR GONNA SEE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NOT ONE FUCKING PERSON BETTER THROW YOUR MFIN ENTITLEMENTS TO ME!!!! NOT ONE!!! MY OWN SON THREW ENTITLEMENTS TO ME AT 12 FUCKING YEARS OLD!!! ENTITLED TO FUCKING TRY TO KILL ME….THERE AINT NOT A MFER THATS ENTITLED TO A MFIN THING, ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU KEEP PLAYING WITH A PERSONS LIFE……..
AND JUST IN CASE YOU ENTITLED MOTHERFUCKERS…FUCKING NOTHING BUT NOSEY ASSES……ARE WONDERING WHAT THE FUCK IVE BEEN UP TO ALL WEEK LONG….NOT TO MENTION THAT IVE BEEN TRYING TO READ AND UNDERSTAND SO THAT I CAN FILL OUT TODAY…..
….AND “ANOTHER THING”…..
Now YOU Can Take This Time As Personal, cuz it NOW IS!
Wait A Minute….Hold The Fucking Front Door…..ummm….
the thought just hit me…WHO THE FUCK AM I DOING ALLLLLLLL OF THIS SHIT FOR????? HUH???
YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU PEOPLE THATS BEEN PUSHING ME GRINDING ME SLAVE DRIVING ME….
YOU!!! “THE ENTITLED ONES” ENTITLED TO HAVE, ENTITLED TO TAKE AND TAKE AND TAKE….AND TAKE MORE….AND WHEN THERES NO MORE LEFT….YOU WILL FIND SOMETHING ELSE TO TAKE….ENTITLED TO HAVE, SELFISH, BUT FUCKING SO UNGRATEFUL, SO INCONSIDERATE, SO HATEFUL, OH SOOO DESERVING OF YOURSELVES TO JUST TAKE AND TREAT OTHERS WORSE THAN RUNNY SHIT, OHHH BUT WAIT…..
SINCE YOUR FUCKING ENTITLED TO HAVE IT ALLLL AND MORE SOME….DON’T STOP NOW….TAKE THESE FUCKING BILLS TOO BITCHES, DONT LEAVE MY ASS STUCK WITH THEM, SINCE YOUR SO FUCKING ENTITLED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
But Yet Who Stays Humble????
Let me remind, when i give my word, MY WORD IS MY HONOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LIVE BY AN HONORABLE CODE!!!! I STAY TRUE TO MYSELF!!!! I NEVER WAIVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I NEVER CHANGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY INTEGRITY HAS ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS CARRIED ME!!! AND TILL THIS DAY, IT STILL CARRIES ME!!! IF IVE GIVEN YOU MY WORD, THEN IT STICKS, UNLESS ITS BEYOND MY CONTROL!! TO THE BEST OF MY ABILITIES!!! I WILL ALWAYS TRY MY BEST TO DO THE RIGHT THING, NO MATTER WHAT, IVE CLEANED MY KARMA UP….AND FOR ME, MYSELF AND I IT’S GONNA STAY THAT WAY. I ONLY HAVE TO CARRY ON MY SHOULDERS WHAT I AM TO ANSWER FOR! I WILL NOT BE STANDING IN FRONT OF THE ONE UPSTAIRS AND HAVING JUDGEMENT PASSED ON ME FOR THE THINGS THAT YOUUUUUUU HAVE DONE….THATS FOR YOU TO CARRY,,,,NOT ME!!!! I DON’T OWN ALL OF THIS, I WON’T OWN NONE OF THIS ANY LONGER, I AM NO LONGER A WILLING PARTICIPANT IN YOUR KARMA, I AM NO LONGER PLAYING IN THIS MOVIE, I KNOW HOW THIS MOVIE IS GOING END AND I REFUSE TO BE APART OF IT ANY LONGER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WILL STAY HUMBLE AND DO AS BEST AS I CAN…..BUT I WILLL NOT TAKE ANY MORE BULLSHIT!
Since You Had To Go There, Let’s Roll With Going There!!!!!!!!!!!!
I HAVE ONLY ONE THING TO SAY….
OK SO I LIED…I HAD TWO THINGS TO SAY….BUT WAIT…I GOT SOMETHING ELSE FOR YA!
“SHOW YOUR TITS, SHOW YOUR TITS”
Well, lets talk about this why don’t we……while your fucking busy wasting my time yesterday, you just prolonged this situation….I FLAT REFUSE TO PUT OUT ANYMORE FREE PORN FOR ALL OF YOU TO DO NOTHING BUT USE ME, WASTE MY TIME AND WATCH ME FUCKING GO HUNGRY AND WORRY ALL THE TIME ABOUT A ROOF OVER MY HEAD! SO UNTIL I CAN GET THIS PAPERWORK DONE AND THE BUSINESS IS DONE, I WONT BE SHARING MY BODY WITH UNAPPRECIATIVE MFERS LIKE THIS! IF YOU WANT TO SEE MY TITS MFER…..
BUY THE VIDS AND PICS FROM NOW ON!!! FREE LOADERS!!! IM SICK OF THE FREE LOADING AND THE FREE SLAVE LABOR HOURS THAT YALL PUSH ME TO DO …..ALL CUZ OF YOU WASTING MY TIME YESTERDAY….SO GUESS WHAT THAT ONLY MAKES YOU WAIT LONGER FOR ALL THESE FUCKING DEMANDS YOU KEEP PUTTING ON MY ASS!!! MY GOD I FUCKING NEED 15 OF ME ALREADY TO DO EVERYTHING IM DOING!!!!!
While Your Telling Me About Myself And Getting IN MY Business…..
YEAA SOOO SINCE I COULDNT SEE HIM AT HIS TIME, HE IS GOING LURE ME INTO A SEXUAL CONVERSATION….I WONDER WHY???!!!! SOOOO HE CAN JERK THE FUCK OFF…WHILE MY TIME IS BEING WASTED WHEN IM GETTING DRESSED FOR SOMEONE ELSE, HE IS CROSSING BOUNDARIES BECAUSE FOR ONE I DO NOT FUCKING MY TIME IS NOT FREE THAT YALL KEEP STEALING FROM ME!!! I ALSO DO NOT FUCKING OFFER SEXTING BY TEXT OR EMAIL OR PHONE SEX….MATTER OF FACT THIS MFER RIPPED ME OFF BY $10 AND HE JUST THOUGHT THAT SENDING ME $20 TO COVER, WOULD MAKE HIS FUCKING BEHAVIOUR ACCEPTABLE AND EXCUSEABLE…..UMMMM EXCUSE THE FUCK OUTTA ME ….FUCK NO!!! AND GO FUCK YOURSELF!!! OR RATHER UNFUCK YOU!!!
IM NOT YOUR MOMMA IM NOT HERE TO HOLD YOUR HOLD OR YOUR DICKS TO MAKE SURE YOU HIT THE FUCKING CHERRIO IN MY TOLIET SO YOU DONT PISS ON MY FLOOR!!! LOOK BELOW
Actually LIVING AND FEELING Hell On Earth
I guess yall forgotten that i acutally know what hell feels like, that i actually have felt my skin burning and having to go in the shower…..well i can tell yall this, its the NOT the HOT FIRE THAT WE ALL THINK THAT HELL IS…ITS MUCH WORSE,,ITS A COLD FIRE!!! NEED A REMINDER….OK HERE YA GO……
FOR SOMEONE JUST TO FEEL SOOOO FUCKING ENTITLED TO HATE ME SOOO MUCH THAT I DESERVED TO BE TAUNTED OR TORMENTED AND TORTURED BY A MANIFESTION OF SOME DEMON THAT LOVED PLAYING TRICKS ON ME….BY TAKING A HALF OF PACK OF CIGS FOR 12 HRS AND THEN THEY REAPPREARING BEHIND MY COMPUTER….
WHICH BTW THAT SHIT HAPPENED AGAIN LAST NIGHT SAT 8-3 WHEN I GOT OUT OF THE SHOWER LAST NIGHT I FOUND THEM AGAIN BEHIND MY COMPUTER!!!!!!!!!!!
HOW WOULD THE FUCK YOU LIKE KNOWING THAT SOMETHING YOU KEEP WAS IN YOUR SAFE…PUT UP…AND THEN ALL OF SUDDEN SEEING WHAT WAS IN YOUR SAFE…..RIGHT BY YOUR FEET AT THE FOOT OF THE BED THAT YOUR SITTING ON?????? WHAT KIND OF VIOLATION DO YOU THINK YOU WOULD FEEL HUH?????
I HAD ENDURED THIS SPIRITUAL ASSAULT FOR 10 LONG WHOLE FUCKING MONTHS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BECAUSE SOMEONE WAS ENTITLED TO DEEM ME TO HELL!!! BUT YET I STILL ENDURE THIS, LOOK AT FACE ….THE SCARS THAT I NOW HAVE
April 9, to feel the fires of hell and for you to put me thru all of this…..
IN 5 DAYS, THAT PICTURE ABOVE WILL BE EXCATLY FOUR MONTHS AGO THAT I ENDURED AND STILL ENDURE LITERALLY HELL ON EARTH, BECAUSE SOMEONE IS PLAYING GOD!!!1 AND FEELS THAT I DESERVE TO KNOW AND LIVE IN HELLL DAILY EVEN IF ITS ON EARTH THAT I ENDURE HELL!!!!
THEN JUNE 26TH MY REAL DAD DIES THAT YOU JUST HAD TO LAUGH AT AND PLAY UPON AND WOULD NOT AND STILL HAVENT ALLOWED ME ANY MOURNING TIME OR HEALING TIME OR FUCKING ANY GOT DAMN TIME AT ALL TO FUCKING DO A FUCKING THING BUT RUN IN CIRCLES SO YOU CAN WATCH ME GO IN CIRCLES FOR NOTHING…FREE….FOR YOUR AMUSEMENTS OR MOCKERY ….ALL TO TELL ME TO LEAVE ON OH2!!!!! BTW JUST LIKE I ALWAYS TOLD MY MOM “I WOULDNT GIVE YOU THAT SATISIFACTION!!!!” NO SUPPORT FROM EITHER SIDE, PROVIDERS OR CLIENTS….TO GO THRU THIS ABUSE ALLLLLLLL THE TIME ALL THE SECONDS OF EACH DAYS THAT PASS SO YOU CAN STEAL MY TEETH AND MAKE ME PAY FOR YOU STEELING MY TEETH!!!!!!
SIT DOWN AND SHUT THAT FUCKING PIE HOLE UP….FUCKING STICK A DICK IN IT AND FUCKING LAY THE FUCK OFF OF MY GOT DAMN BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I HAVE HAD E FUCKING NUFF OF YOU ENTITLED MFERS TELLING ME ABOUT MY FUCKING SELF!!!!! WHEN FOR WAYYY FUCKING MORE THAN A YR NOW DAY IN DAY OUT DAY IN DAY OUT DAY IN DAY OUT, YOU FUCKING DO NOTHING BUT HAND ME YOUR BULLSHIT AND YOUR DRAMA AND GETTING IN MY FUCKING BUSINESS TELLING ME ABOUT MY FUCKING PLACE, MAKING SURE I KNOW WHERE I KNOW WHERE MY PLACE IS….BUT NOT OF YOUR MFERS STAY IN YOUR FUCKING PLACE!!!! NOT ONE OF YOU MFERS KNOWS WHAT A BOUNDARY IS OR GIVE ME RESPECT AND MOURNING PERIOD WHEN MY DAD DIED, YOU GIVE FLACK, FUCKING DAILY EVERY DAY ITS 15 OF YOU THAT ARE ON MY FUCKING BACK…..LAY THE FUCK OFF OF MY GOT DAMN BACK AND GIVE ME SPACE!!! GIVE ME THE FUCKING ROOM AND THE FUCKING TIME TO DO WHAT YOU FUCKING WANT, DEMAND, EXPECT DRIVE A BITCH FOR ME TO DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YOU HAVE TAKEN EVERYTHING I HAVE CARED FOR AND LOVED AND DESTROYED IT ALL, STOLE IT ALL, TAKEN IT ALL, MAKE ME LIVE IN HELL DAILY IN THIS COMFY PRISON CELL, AND YOU WANT ME TO CARE FOR YOU WHEN YOU TOOK ALL I HAVE AWAY FROM ME…WHAT ????? TO MAKE ME RUN FROM HERE????? YOU JUST FUCKED UP!!!! BY UNDER-ESTIMATING WHO THE FUCK YOU WERE FUCKING WITH!!! BY TAKING EVERYTHING I CARED FOR AND DESTROYING IT, I HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE NOW….BUT TIME!!!! I JUST GOT VERY DANGEROUS, RIGHT???!!! NOOOO IM NOT LEAVING HERE, BUT THIS IS WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW….
IM NOT GOING TO TAKE ANYMORE OF YOUR BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM IN THE PROCESS OF GIVING EVERYTHING YOU HAVE DEMANDED OF ME BY DOING THIS BUSINESS…BUT GUESS THE FUCK WHAT….ITS NOW GOING TO BE ON MY FUCKING TERMS!!!!
I HAVE EARNED MY PLACE 15 TIMES OVER AND THEN SOME YOU WILL APPROACH ME WITH THE FUCKING RESPECT THAT I DESERVE AND HAVE FUCKING EARNED!!!!! AND IF YOU DONT AND YOU WONDER WHY THE FUCK I AM LIKE I AM…REFER STRAIGHT BACK TO THIS PAGE MOTHERFUCKERS!
NOW I HAVE FUCKING RESEARCH TO DO AND PREPARE TO TAKE ON OWNING A BUINESS…A CORPORATION…JUST SO THAT I CAN BE ABLE TO SELL YOU THE PICS AND VIDS YOU DEMAND OF ME!!!! AND DONT ONE PERSON MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE AS THE CLIENT DID WHEN I SAW HIM FRIDAY AND TALK ABOUT GETTING YOUR GRUBBY FUCKING HANDS ON ANY SHARES OF WHAT I HAVE FOUGHT YOU FOR IN THE FIRST PLACE, YOU WILL NOT TAKE FROM ME WHAT I FOUGHT YOU FOR!!!! ITS MY NAME, ALL OF IT!!!!
I WANT TO MAKE SURE THAT I THANK OF ALL YOU THOUGH, THAT HAS CONTINUED TEACHING ME…..CUZ YOU TAUGHT MY ASS WELL!!! YOU HAVE CONTINUED CHALLENGING ME BY TORMENTING ME TO DO NOTHING BUT REACH TO THE VERY TOP!!! ME OWNING MY OWN CORPORATION ID SAY IS TOP ISNT IT????!!!!! SIIIIKE!!!! LMAO
NOW IM TRULY DONE WITH THE ABUSE!!!! SINCE YOU CAN NOT DO IT TO MY FACE AND YOUVE HAD TO MAKE YOUR SELF INVISIBLE AND VIOLATE ME WITH THESE SPIRITUAL ASSAULTS AND THEN HUMILIATE AND DISGRACE ME TO THE WORLD IN PUBLIC BEHIND YOUR KEYBOARDS, NOT FUCKING HAVING AN ANY FUCKING BALLS TO FACE ME HEAD ON MAN TO FUCKING MAN…YES I WENT THERE I HAVE THAT RIGHT TO…IVE HAD THE BIG BALLS AND GRABBED MY FUCKING NUTS AND PULLED MY FUCKING NUTSACK UP RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOUR EYES AND HAVE DAILY SAID….”GOOD MORNING”” HOWS EVERYONE DOING TODAY?”
( im reading the above paragraph now its published,…i started laughing my ass off, cuz ummm yea..i recongized her! i sure did i recognized that michelle!!! not this broken spirited beat down bitch….NOOOO! THAT REAL MICHELLE SAYS THAT KIND OF SHIT AND MEANS EVERY BIT OF IT! LOL YEA YALL DONT KNOW THAT MICHELLE…THAT ROGUE….BUT I RECOGNIZED HER, SHE COMING BACK OUT….SMH I FEEL SORRY FOR YALL MFERS LMAO LOOK OUT IS ALL IM GONNA SAY LOL)
NOW THAT YOU HAVE TAKEN MY WHOLE WEEKEND BETWEEN THE NON STOP BULLSHIT YESTERDAY AND CONTINUED TO WAST E MY TIME FOR ATTENTION….JUST LIKE A CHILD…WANTING ATTENTION WHETHER ITS NEGATIVE OR POSITVE…YOUR GONNA DO EVERYTHING YOU CAN TO GET THAT ATTENTION I HOPE THIS MAKES YOU HAPPY NOW….I HOPE THAT BY DOING ALL THIS TO ME…MADE YOU FEEL GOOD ABOUT YOURSELVES….
I JUST KNOW THIS….ALL OF THIS…IT TAUGHT ME JUST HOW TO BE HUMBLE …HUMILITY….HOW TO TRULY BE HUMBLE!!!!!
SO FROM NOW ON IF YOU HAVE NOTHING POSITIVE TO OFFER IN MY LIFE OR BUSINESS
THEN STAY IN YOUR PLACE LIKE YOU KEEP MAKING SURE THAT I KNOW MY PLACE ….I KNOW MY PLACE VERY WELL BY NOW THANK YOU. NOW HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND, IM GOING TO CHILL NOW AND RELAX SOME WITHOUT STRESS AND YOUR DRAMA AND BS…TAKE CARE
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