Oh and since you want to take my porn to the levels that y’all have and hurt me like you have I’m going to tell you some secrets and I’m a bust that fantasy wide the fuck open, The last 3 times that I’ve been filmed, I haven’t watched them I haven’t edited them
I don’t know what’s in them really to put out and sell them cuz I don’t know how to describe them when I haven’t watched them. I can’t watch them I won’t watch them it hurts to watch them, they lost their meaning they lost their intense special significance they once held
They became superficial they became just artificial, they lost their touch, just lost what i once held in those vids, so I no longer can watch them i no longer even try to watch them. ….AND THEN TO TOP IT ALL THE FUCK OFF…MAN WHAT YOU MEN CAN DO….TO TOP ALL OFF … m selling things, my videos THAT HELD MEANING TO ME THAT REALLY ONCE HELD MEANING TO NE, A VERY DEEP SIGNIFICANT MEANING TO ME, AND BECAUSE OF WHAT YOU SEE ME DO WITH THAT PERSON, YOU FUCKING FEEL ENTITLED TO GET OR TO FORCE OR TO TRY TO GAIN WHAT YOU SEE IN MY FILMS…. Ummm YOU MFERS HAVE TRIED TO CAPTURE WHAT I MYSELF CAN NOT RE FUCKING CAPTURE BECAUSE OF THE BARRIER THE WALL THATS BEEN PUT, WHAT I ONCE FELT AND HELD AND CRIED FOR THE LAST 3 YRS OF WANTING TO HAVE W THIS PERSON…JUST ONE MORE FUCKING TIME…JUST ONE MORE FUCKING TIME
To HEAR THIS MAN TELL THOSE WORDS I LOVE YOU OBE MORE, AND I COULD NOT EVEN HEAR THOSE WORDS JUST ONE MORE TIME ON VALENTINE’S DAY. I CANT EVER IN MY LIFE GET FEEL KNOW OR RECAPTURE WHAT ONCE WAS.
To HEAR THIS MAN TELL THOSE WORDS I LOVE YOU OBE MORE, AND I COULD NOT EVEN HEAR THOSE WORDS JUST ONE MORE TIME ON VALENTINE’S DAY. I CANT EVER IN MY LIFE GET FEEL KNOW OR RECAPTURE WHAT ONCE WAS. AND YOU STUPID FUCKERS THINK BY FORCING ME THAT YOUR GONNA TO BE ABLETo get what YOU SEE IN MY FILMS WHEN I MYSELF CANT EVER GET IT AGSIN WHICH YOU TOOK WHAT MEANING TGERE WAS LEFT IN MY FILMS AND HURT ME EVEN MORE THAN IM ALREADY HURT …RUNING EVERY FUCKING PART IN ME RUINING IT ALL WHAT WAS BARELY LEFT TO HANG ONTO
so very literally fuck all of you for doing this and taking what specifically significant meaning that it held for me
AND QUIT LITERALLY JUST THROWING IT IN THE TRASH FOR ME. NOW FANTASIZE ON THAT FUCKING BRUTAL REALITY YOU MADE FOR ME AND FUCK YOURSELVES W THAT REALITY
i hope like hell that that fucking has been as good to you as its been for me! in trying to recapture that love and that time and those moments you stupid fuck heads i swearyep i believe now, im now ready to be alone, im now ready to be lonely i now welcome it with open arms, it doesnt seem to be hurful and scarey for me anymore.
that time, that love, those moments, they are helf still for me, in a bottle, like ashton, i will only know ashton as a child, i will never know ashton as the adult he has become, so those moments, they are time in a bottle for me, they stand still, they are the last times that my heart and my being felt alive and unconiditional love, that time in the bottle where life stood still and the only thing that mattered was who my heart felt love for and lived for, what made life matter what made the sun shine, that time when it could be rainging all around …and just hear or be near …and the sun would find its way and shine so brightly…it was blinding….those moments, where no words needed to be spoken…that even far away, we could both feel each other…connected like an umbilical cord, went thru each others pains and happiness and when it was severed, the undeniable agozing pain suffered as it severed, those moments…. they are moments never to be recaptured, time in a bottle for me! when i was alive !!!! when i was free!!! when there was nothing else….but that time, that moment yep….thats my time in a bottle, put on a shelf to remind myself there was that time…that it actually happened that it was real and that i actually felt it….that can never be recaptured, by me…and especially by any stranger…
THAT TIME IN THAT BOTTLE,
THATS FUCKING MINE, AND WHEN YOU GO TO STEALING MY BOTTLE MY TIME THAT I HOLD DEAR AND SPECIAL TO ME, THAT PROTECTIVE MOTHER AND THAT LOVING PERSON THAT WAS KNOWN IN THAT TIME, YOU WILL ONLY BE MET WITH THE BITCH YOU PULL OUT BY TRYING TO STEAL MY MOMENTS THAT I PUT INTO MY BOTTLE AND KEEP ON MY SHELF, THAT BOTTLE THAT TIME THOSE MOMENTS, THEY ARE ONLY FOR THOSE THAT SHARED THAT TIME AND THOSE MOMENTS, THERE ARE NO OTHER ENTITLEMENTS FROM NO OTHER!!!!!!!!!!!! BE FOREWARNED TRYING TO STEAL THOSE MOMENTS FROM ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and now you know the real reason of why I got so pissed off this week like I did about fucking people coming up in my home and deal with it done to me just over a watch and my porn NOW YOU FUCKING KNOW EXACTLY WHY I WENT THE LIVING FUCK OFF LIKE I DID! NOW YOU KNOW WHY!!!!
Wasn’t about no fucking drama was about nothing else but you still in what was special for me or trying to It is about protecting that time and what was fucking special to me wasn’t about no fucking drama.
It was strictly about protecting which you fuckers thought you had entitlements to steal and have that was not rightly yours to have it was straight up protecting with the fuck was mine
That time is sacred to me and i dare another fucking fool to take it and steal it as its his sacredness to have! Smfh. Next time yea i meant tgat you will find a stiletto heel stuck up in your fucking skull trying to steal it for me again
im just gonna aay it kinda achmed the dead terriorist says it…..i will kill you, and i will kill you dead, and thats much worse! lmao
And quite honestly the only reason why I’m sharing such fucking emotions the stuff that I am today is because what’s realizing what happened what’s been happening It brought up all these emotions and forced up everything that I’ve been holding inside it brought up
Things that I’ve been trying to stuff down and keep away and to not face into not talk about to not even accept, its been like it’s the elephant in the room and you just don’t talk about it you ignored it being you kind of enjoy what there was to enjoy well that was kind of ruined With all this shit that others have been putting me through and it was kind of forced into my face to have to face what I did not want to face when I had to accept that I did not want to accept it and all this other good mess so that’s the reason why it’s all coming out now
It was sooner or later going to come out and i guess it was its time to come out
i still love but i just cant do it no more i can not control another i can only control myself
2-16-2020 7:39 pm
oh and btw, another side effect and backlash from physic vampires stealing my energy and leaving me with nothing left is exactly what your seeing, me going thru roller coaster after roller coaster after roller coaster, so thanks for that also! and not to mention the all of sudden weight gain that i now have from physic vampires blowing me up with air when you took my energy and spirit im left with nothing but being a fucking emotional fucked up mess you assholes that i have fight on my fucking own!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11 god damn it !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!