A prelude to this…this is two writings in this one post, the first one ive just wrtten, the second part, i wrote back in feb when i was dealing with my living hell…being assaulted in ways no one can dream…to deal with cyber bulling, cyber harrassement and cyber stalking….then on top of all that an un speakable assualt that no one can conceive…to be assaulted and violated for 8 mths from someting that could be not be seen, or understood…but could definitily be felt that no one believes…ill tell the ending of this story soon but not today, as i cant take anymore, tired ive grown…but heres to get your started on your own, maybe so that my story be told, to be understood the hlpe i hold. thanks for your time andreading my words that you are. so heres the begginning but far far from the end. (just woke up, think im gonna do this in parts, part 1 i wrote today 5:33Pm)
My Close Call With The Cartel And Being “REAL” Sex Trafficked
To be in a new place, in strange surroundings, where no one is known
To be trusting someone, that you find is one that plans a demise
To leave one day, to come back the next, with your whole life gone,
even your own identity
To be so lost and confused, not knowing what to do
To be played so much so…
To know that something just isn’t right, but can’t figure it out
From one story to the next and to the next, nothing ever being told straight
To have a sickening gut feeling, as the one that is planning your demise..
as you realize that your close to being sold.
See the demise happen to be part of the cartel.
My everything was stolen and gone, as she tried to get me to commit an armed robbery
It was when she wouldn’t be straight about “working” that I began…..
I began to see, the darkness that was in for me
During this time, on adult friend finder i found
A man, that partied, had a Harley….with a little money….
Drove a Porches, Drove it fast and hard…
We took a ride in the wind, I had impressed him so,
as i dropped to my knees without a care infront of God and everywhere
See, a free spirit i am, so carefree, so wild, laughter and fun i found, easily all around.
Even through with the hand that had been dealt, still free and spontaneous to the world i was
It was when i realized that the one of my demise meant to sell me in the lots
with no straight story to be told…is when i realized that i was meant to be sold
to make one move within, would mean my soul to them.
i’ve known i’ve lived dangerously, had friends within, the gambinos, always skirting on the outskirts
but to be THIS close within, i KNEW that my life as I knew had abruptly forever come to an end
Scrambling in fear, I quietly set off to plan my escape
Packing what little I had left in 2 duffle bags was all, while she was gone i planned my escape,
through the night i called and talked and texted frangically
to this person, to that person and on to the next
all had one thing in mind, the seriousness was never taken
all just had dick in their hand.
i needed a way out and i needed it fast. FINALLY by the grace of God, at last
To my fear, she came back before my escape…finding…figuring out a way to hide my bags I found
out the back i snuck and found, some bushes on the side, my 2 bags i hide,
then waited and prayed.
seemed like ages but finally someone felt my desparte cry
took awhile, seemed forever as we drove away, 15 mins into the ride,
all of a sudden, something lifted from me, unnoticed till then, something black..or
gray that had surrounded me…smothering me..with each mile away ….seemed like with a jolt, something left me
all of sudden i had life within me, i was able to take a deep breath, and breathe…
During that time i had called on my “new found friend”, ya know
that one I had fun with in the wind. desperate to find refugee
putting me up for a few days, he did
scared, lost, stunned, no one i had, with the story he told
and story it was …doing the only thing that i could do
so with every word he told, i held onto.
With strength and might, i tried my best to come up with a planto no avail…
i had lost…my time he was had come…what was i to do.
we talked, he gave me a way, put me up in a room to stay…
(As i look back and see…its been one tradgey afte tradgey
i look up to the heavens and wonder how things got so lost
my hurt runs deep, so deep but no one can see…
the scars that have been left, can only be felt within
no one knows the trauma that has befallen me…
to be laughed at and made a mockery
as i struggle and fight…growing so tired …so tired of fighting and defending the…
just wanna find refugee and sleep to succcum me
as the blanket of sleep i welcome so snug and warm
i pray to never wake to this hell’as I’m locked in this prison cell
my mind and thoughts have imprisoned me
as no one knows my true reality
by far is this story over…no its just begun…i have more…way more to reveal…
my pains and my hurts are trapped within can’t ever escape
you see….its always there and seen…and felt never leaving my moments on the hell on earth. one assault on to the next )3:o7 pm..i cant write anymore it hurts too much..
(I was just asked a question so i need to bring this to light, that this story, my story, my story…my reality, this is only going back to when i stepped foot in Texas, starting Jan. 29th 2017. This is my story of all the abuse i have endured, and i guess in reality, i have to accept that ill NEVER EVER BE ABLE TO GET ACROSS OR PORTRAY THE EXTENSIVE AMOUNT OF ABUSE THAT I HAVE ENDURED OVER THE COURSE OF A 2 YR SPAN. the amount of abuse in many different forms….ALL AT ONE TIME over the course of these last 8 mths ALONE! has been so freakin extensive and the trauma that it all has caused especially over these last 8 mths. IT’S SO FREAKING VAST AND EXTENSIVE THAT NONE OF THIS CAN BE EXPLAINED IN ONE OR TWO BLOGS, I HAVE TO BREAK THINGS DOWN TO THE AUDIENCE AND EXPLAIN THINGS IN ORDER FOR YOU TO BE ABLE TO GET A FULL GRASP OF THINGS.
In short, ALL AT ONE TIME over these last 8 mths, it’s been ….Cyber Bullying, Cyber Stalking, Cyber harrasement, …..and the most damaging the one that has been the fucking just most inner scaring that i have to break down and explain is an assault of such a different kind that the main stream doesnt have an awareness of, a violation of something that is the hardest for me to be able to face..as im still getting attacked day in and day out…
the thought that someone has been violating me and my home, by the use of black magic, a hateful person or person(s), physic vampires, that have been taking and just destroying me…and being an empath that i am, its worse on me, harder for me….im trying to bring awareness that this shit does happen…i know of RIGHT NOW, that 2 other providers are dealing with spiritual assaults of this nature…and during my lifetime of my spiritual studies…they look forward to me trying to help…to trying to help others that may not know what’s going on with them or how to get help….
Disgraced, Used And Abused By Those In My Community
during these last 8 mths of me going through all the spiritual assault, ive had my peers, my community beat me the fuck completely down! while i was on twitter, bearing witness and giving my testimony, ive been judged, ….judged on how i was reacting to the assaults, to the abuse, on twitter, i was pushed beyond my means and my physical abilities and legal capabilties to do things that just was not possible, i was brought down to be made to beg and grovel…scrambling for rent money so that im not homeless with ALL THE AMOUNT OF POSSESSIONS THAT I NOW HAVE, im not materiaistic by no means, but after losing everything that i’ve had many many times, i sure dont want to lose what i have gained thus far, ive been judged by those that steal from me, shamed, disgraced, told to leave, told that i was ugly that i needed to get my teeth fixed, all the while, taking away any resources to be able to get my top teeth after some fool took my teeth from me…told to get off my ass and get a “real job” ….when im disabled and cant go get a “real job” anymore, to be told im beautiful and im looked up to, and by those very same people that tell me im beautiful…im stalked by…cyber stalked…just last night alone, the 19 yr “boy” that i made into a man 2 yrs ago…continues to contact me by my work number, my work phone has been turned off, cuz im trying my damnedest go deal with all of this, after a few days of him trying to contact my phone and me not answering…he contacts me thru my tryst profile…ummm all because, I HAVENT ANSWERED HIM. to have another person that i talked about in the second part of this, to have him rip me off a hundred dollars, to be feeling so fucking entitled that he continues to stalk and contact me….to be left all alone in this room that has become my “comfy prison cell” not getting out, no human touch, no visitors, to realize that you have become nothing but a whipping post, just someone to be beat down by those that hold hatred for “whores” cuz we are “worth nothing’ when a poll was done on twitter within the last couple of weeks, showing that 61% of us are on disabiltiy, to be judged, by the same people that are saying that black lives matter, blue lives matter, this lives matter, those lives matter…but a sex workers, …..our lives just doesnt seem to matter, to have my human rights taken from me by these men, that have entitilements to take everything from me..that i dont deserve to have shelter, to have food, ….hell, ive been needing to go the doctor for a long time now, to get my mamograms and other things, but im always scrambling for my rent just to have shelter…to know that you have become nothing but a joke, your trauma made a mockery of, to be told your bat shit crazy…not only from the men, but by your fellow providers, to be thrown under the bus like i have been, to have to always be defending myself, to always be on guard, to know that you are nothing but…
Free Slave Labor
FREE SLAVE LABOR…BUT A FREE SLAVE THATS NOT DOING ANYTHING CONSTUCTIVE, A FREE SLAVE THAT JUST SEEMS TO RUN AROUND IN CIRCLES, SCRAMBLING TO MAKE EVERYONE HAPPY…PUSHED BEING UP FOR 7 NIGHTS STRAIGHT TO GET PICTURES AND VIDEOS SOLD…ALL TO FIND OUT AT THE END…THAT…”THATS NOT WHAT THEY WANTED” OR “THEY DONT USE THOSE ONLINE PAYMENT APPS” …..TO BE A FREE SLAVE UNDESERVING OF ANYTHING ALL BECAUSE IM UGLY CUZ MY TEETH WERE STOLEN…TO BE TREATED IN SUCH INHUMANE WAYS…ALL BECAUSE I LOVE TO FUCK…AND JUST WANTED TO HELP OTHERS OUT, WHILE JUST WANTING TO SUPPLEMENT MY DISABILTIY…TO BE TOLD THEY CAN GET THEIR “FREE PORN” THAT MY CONTENT WASNT WORTH BUYING, ALL THE WHILE JERKING OFF TO MY FREE PORN, THAT I WAS PUTTING OUT AS ADVERTISEMENTS TO SELL, JERKING OFF WITH ONE HAND, USING THE OTHER HAND TO TYPE HOW BEAUTIFUL I AM AND ALL….ALLL THE WHILE AT THE SAME TIME WATCHING ME BEG AND GROVEL JUST TO HAVE A ROOF OVER MY HEAD.NOT ONE TIME, BUT NOW…THATS HAPPENED TWICE, LAST AUG 2018 AND THIS MARCH AND APRIL…..TO BE PUSHED, TO THE POINT OF MY BACK…HURTING SO BAD THAT I PASS OUT IN PAIN TO WAKE UP WITH SOMEONE THAT WAS HERE, IN MY BED, THIS VERY BED THAT IM IN NOW, JERKING OFF, AND VIOLTING MY BODY, WHILE IM PASSED OUT IN PAIN…CUZ I DONT TAKE ANYTHING FOR MY BACK,,,TO HAVE SOMEONE THAT DIDNT WANT TO SCREEN MY SCREENING, FIND WHERE I LIVE…TO BE KICKING DOWN WHAT HE THOUGHT WAS “MY” DOOR,,,AND HAD ENDED UP BEING MY NEIGHBORS DOOR….AND OF COURSE MY NEIGHBOR GREETED HIM WITH HIS SHOTGUN UNDER HIS THROAT WHEN HE OPENED HIS DOOR…
Houston Trip Ended With Threats Of Being Stuffed In The Trunk
yea lets talk about that motherfucker that i had went on that ride with…that i talk about in this part…that i met on AFF, yea…he put me up for a month…to continue with that part…come to find out, he is a hobbiest….ON ECCIE!!!!!!!!! and yall wonder why i fucking cant stand fucking eccie hmmm…yea…uhh huhhh…he is the one that i trusted right..made my FIRST WEBSITE…that i talk about in part 2..yea you wanna know what he did the last june, almost a yr ago now…yea…he took me to houston for the weekend..and yes he is married..to watch the Astros games, i had corned him about the website, he never would give me a straight answer,,,then on the way back sunday night…that turned in a FUCKING NIGHTMARE..
….and since im on a roll with it all…lets get it ALLLLLLLLL out there….and BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY…I HAVE ALLLLL THE FREAKING PROOF…I HAVE TAKEN OVER 3000 SCREENSHOTS, IN LESS THAN A 3 MTH SPAN ALONE, NOT TO MENTION THE LAST 2 YRS OF PROOF OF ALL THE ABUSE!!!!……TO SHOW JUST HOW EXTENSIVE OF ABUSE THAT I HAVE UNDERGONE!!!!!!!!! EVERYTHING THAT I HAVE PUT OUT ON TWITTER, I WASNT “JUST” POSTING TWEETS…YALL NEED TO KNOW…I WAS DOCUMENTING EVERY FREAKING THING THAT I WAS GOING THROUGH ….IN PUBLIC…ALL THE WHILE HIDING IDENTITIES OF THOSE PREDATORS AND ABUSERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!…SO LETS CONTINUE WITH….
A SEX WORKER’S STORY: MY STORY………….
…ok so he made the website, just enough to “satisfy” me right…when i cornered him about the information about all the copyrights and the trademark and the whole nine yards, he told me these words ” you dont need to know all these details, you dont need to know anything” ….i was raised in a self-employed home, my dad is construction..doing counter tops, ummm i knew what those words meant..yep…so after taking me to “buckeyes or whatever” and talking his jive the whole time about my brand and all…i cornered him one last time…when we got back on the interstate, on the way back to SA…yea..whilel on the interstate4, he went to flip the mercedes we were in…over…and im sitting here..im not exeraggerting none!!!!!! literally…was putting the car on two wheels..going over an overpass…umm after which he sliiiiiid to the side of the road, after the overpass, and slid to a complete halt with his brakes…of course jolting the fuck out of us..and YESSS OF COUURSE, by this time, im flipping my shit! yess i was….after which…he threatened to put to me in the trunk of the car, grabbed my arm, and of course, im kicking and fucking screaming okayyy.while he was trying to drag me to the back of the car, …i fight my way..to getting back into the car, cuz I KNOW HE PLANS ON LEAVING ME ON THE SIDE OF THE INTERSTATE…SOMEWHERE BETWEEN HOUSTON AND MY HOME…AND I HAVE NOOO CLUE WHERE THE FUCK I AM, NOT NONE..AT ALL…
im just gonna say…im soooo not finished…
then you ask me why i screen like i do? and why i dont trust??? hmm i wonder