Understanding The Basic Fundamentals of BDSM

In order to FULLY be able to understand what “TRUE” BDSM is. You must first know the basic fundamentals. Not just to only to know them, but to FULLY grasp that understanding. What makes BDSM so alluring? What is it about BDSM that pulls you to it, and gives it that magic, and especially what is it about BDSM that gives it it’s power???

Do you REALLY want to find out????? Are you sure, yet, that you REALLY want to know what TRUE BDSM is???? Before you go to answer, you need to STOP AND MAKE SURE, FIRST. Refresh your memory from what I wrote before in my introduction blog BDSM 101: Know Your Craft. And go back to the section “Having What It Takes

I also want you, the reader, to understand, the way I’m writing this series, is the way I was taught AND trained. It is the way I have mentored EVERY person I have taken under my wing. I mentor, teach and show and guide in the Ways Of the Old Guard. This way has been lost and forgetten. It’s been turned and twisted into what everyone’s different individual concepts of, TRYING to make each one of those individual concepts into ONE WHOLE CONCEPT!

Going by that way, well….that sure does make for a whole lot of “HOLES.” Remember BDSM IS A VERY DIVERSE WORLD,

“Your kink may not be my kink but it IS STILL KINK!!!!”

The Prerequisites

  • No Judgement: you can NOT be in such a broad diverse alternative kink world and have judgement!!!! …..FREE YOUR MIND, EMBRACE WHAT IS NOT YET KNOWN TO YOU!!!! THE POSSIBILITIES ARE LIMITLESS, ONLY A CLOSED MIND GIVES LIFE LIMITS!!!!!!
  • Willingness To Change: Leaving labels out at the moment: it takes opening your mind, expanding what you think, and pushing it out of it’s box, just when you think you can’t expand any more...THERE’S MORE, GO FURTHER!
  • Dedication To Effort And Time: Kink and the REASONS BEHIND THE KINK, it’s NOT something that is accomplished on the first try, the second try…or even the third. It might be months down the road before it’s accomplished. It’s not the time, it’s the effort, what you’ve learned and accomplishing the task that matters!!! THAT TAKES DEDICATION!!!
  • You Can NOT Hear If You Don’t Listen: In order to grasp and understand what your learning, IT TAKES LISTENING…ESPECAILLY LISTENING TO THE QUIET!!!
  • You can NOT hear what you’re supposed to be listening to IF you are not paying attention!!!: how can you know when your partner is pushed her limits if she is gagged? If you taken the the ability to let you know they can not go any farther, HOW IS IT YOU ARE GOING TO KNOW IF YOU ARE NOT PAYING ATTENTION????

If you cannot follow directions and haven’t learned the correct protocols that are very specific, and if you don’t pay attention to what’s around you, if you don’t listen to the quiet, if you hesitate and ask why…….

Scenerio’s To Be Aware Of….

I want you to THINK and TAKE EACH ONE OF THESE SCENERIO’S AS SERIOUSLY AS THEY SHOULD BE TAKEN….

One: If you have your partner with a rope around their neck, their hands tied behind their back their legs spread out on a spreader bar and in restraints, and you have a gag in your partners mouth. Your partner cannot speak, can not use hand signals, cannot move their legs and you tightening that rope around their neck how are they going to let you know something is wrong??????

How are you going to know to stop before it’s too late and you take that person’s life because you weren’t paying attention to every detail????? If you don’t know the protocols and you don’t follow them and you don’t realize what those details are telling you???

Two: Just because your partner is not physically able to speak, THIS IS ACTUALLY WHEN A PERSON SPEAKS THE LOUDEST!!!! …..BODY LANGUAGE, ITS NOT WHAT YOU SAY BY WHAT YOU PHYSICALLY SPEAK, ITS THE BEHAVIOURS….

WHAT YOUR BODY DOES, HOW IT MOVES, HOW IT REACTS, HOW IT RESPONDS, IS THERE GOOSE BUMPS OR DID THE SKIN SEEM TO JUMP AWAY QUICKLY WHEN THAT FLOGGER HIT THE SKIN? DO YOU KNOW THE DIFFERENCES IN THE DIFFERENT FLOGGERS, do you know which one gives a “thud” hit, and which flogger gives a “sting” and has a bite to it??? Do you know, can you hear what the body is saying when you look away and know how the body reacts when it comes into contact with that certain “thud” or “sting” that is felt with each one of those floggers????

Three: Can you see if you don’t pay attention to detail, when it exactly the line was crossed and the split second difference between “workup zone” “Doing Good Zone,” “Moderate level” zone, “above moderate level” zone, “pushing it” zone, “gettting really really really close to ‘oh shit” zone ……..AND OH SHIT ITS TOO LATE” Zone”

Did you hear the “oh shit it’s too late” zone, that split second that you turned your head away and looked at the tv???????????? Now what are you going do, you have a dead partner just because you looked at the tv!!!!!!!!!…..or in the submissive’s case scenerio..the milliseconds in “thought AND waiting to say your safe word” and “pushing to far” and “ohh shit it’s late” zone....NEED TO KNOW YOUR LIMITS AND NEED TO RESPECT LIMITS AND BOUNDARIES….IT CAN MEAN THE DIFFERENCE IN THE MILLIESECONDS BETWEEN LIFE AND DEATH!

Four: Do you know what it means when the skin is turning black blue and purple. Are the goldish color that it turns when a bruise is healing. Do you know the stages of the bruising what bruising tells you. Do you know the shades of red as you’re using a cane on your partner’s ass??? did you know what area’s that is not safe to use that cane on? what could harm or kill your partner if you use a cane on a certain area? Did you know what know the protocols and safety of when something happens and something goes a little too far?? Are you going to react??? Or Are you going to be able to “respond?”

Understanding The Responisiblties When Controlling Another

Are you willing to be responsible for that person’s life? are you going to hold the life of another person into the palm of your hand and kill it, because you were too busy not to practice???? Because you were too busy not to pay attention??? Or you did not want to hear because you didn’t feel like it was important????

Better yet, to the person that’s going to ALLOW you to do this and put their lives into your hands and TRUST in YOU,

Can they TRULY TRUST that you know how to take care of her life or his life knowing and trusting beyond the shadow of any and all doubts, that you can be responsible and know what decisions to make, and the best decisions to make for your partner FIRST?????…. NOT THE DECISIONS BEST FOR YOU FIRST! BUT FOR YOUR PARTNER FIRST, THEN FOR THE BOTH OF YOU, THEN FOR YOU….

You cannot be selfish in this!!!! Selfishness leads to death, ignorance leads to death, excuses leads to death, closed mind closed ears closed eyes leads to death, irresponsibility and uncontrolling, “Dick thinking for you” leads to death. If you lie to yourself and you push you, getting yourself into a situation to where you are not aware of what is about to happen and you lied to that person who is supposed to be putting you into certain contraptions and doing things to you that you are not going to be knowing about that you don’t know to think about, can kill you, your partner, or both of you!!!

And yes, it may seem like I’m “beating a dead horse” well, the pun was intended!!!! Because just like that promotion at work that you are wanting, when you get that promotion, it pays more, yes. But what else comes with that promotion??? More responibilities, right? Well, this is no different, well, the difference is, THERE IS MORE DEPTH, MORE RISK INVOLVED, IT’S A WHOLE LOT MORE TO BE RESPONISIBLE FOR.

In order for any person to practice BDSM, you must fully grasp the understanding of the responisibities that each one of you is taken on, YOU ARE HELD ACCOUNTABLE FOR YOUR BEHAVIOURS, ACTIONS, AND REACTIONS. There IS NO SUCH THING AS COP OUTS AND EXCUSES. Kinda funny because ONE OF THE VERY FIRST HARD LESSONS that my First Master had taught to me was

“EVERYTHING YOU SAY AND DO, CAN BE USED FOR YOU…..OR AGAINST YOU. MOST OFTEN, IT WILL BE USED AGAINST YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

And beleive me when I say, I leaned how to not give Him so much information . To let Him figure it all out, because I would end up finding myself feeling I was a pretzel or something lmao Yea, I learned, and of course it was the hard way, but eventually I did learn. lol …Oh and just so you know, I may be laughing now…but I sure wasn’t laughing then!!!

Can You guess what the lesson was???

…..ACCOUNTABILITY AND CONTROL…..SELF CONTROL!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOT TO MENTION….LIFE!!!

I Speak From Experience

Case in point, I was in Indiana, I moved in with someone that I ALLOWED to have ownership over me. He had taken both my son and I (more for my son lol) out to have our first experience with snow sleding. Ashton was all excited, me on the other hand, I was just fine with watching. lol I have major back issues, and at times I have a really hard time getting up to even walk. This was before I been approved for my SSI. So I was still just “dealing” with my back and the pain. So after a while of helping Ashton with the sled and all, he looked at me and told me it was time for me to get on the sled and try it. I knew better, and this has been the ONLY time that I have ever hesitated when given a task by a Dominant. He put me on that sled, got me situation and I’m gonna tell you, I did NOT want any part of that sled. The last words I remember him saying to me was “If you start to turn and start going toward the fence, hop off. Welp, guess, I went ass to ice. and that landed my ass in the bed FOR A MONTH!!! Could not walk, could not have sex, could not take care of my son, could not do anything, matter fact, for someone who doesn’t drink hardly at all. I sure in the hell drank gin no doubt and I hate gin lmao…I was trying to drink the pain away.

Also during that month, he didn’t help do a thing in the apartment. Everything started stacking up. In turn, that Ashton to have to be the responisble one. Simple fact was, he was a “wanna be fake”.” He had no control in his life, no responsibiltiy. How did he figure that he had the ability to control another person’s life, when his was so out of control. And because of him not being in control of his own self. That led to making a very bad unhealthy decision for my life. It was bad enough that his decision for me was as bad as it was. But just think, if he had made a wrong decision for BOTH me and my child’s life, that I could’ve died from, would he be responible enough to raise my son then??? Or was it, that this kind of RESONISBLE thought process never occurred in his mind??? Needless to say, when I started feeling better, is when I started making my exit out of the door arrangements and left!!!

it was during this time that I had accomplished the task of giving a blow job with a beer mug ….A FULL BEER MUG WITH ONE SIP TAKING OUT, ON THE TOP OF MY HEAD, AND NOT, I REPEAT NOT SPILLING A DROP!!!!

Considering my height and the joke you men like to say about giving a blow job and drinking beer and being the right height, well…i was put the test to see if I was the right height….apparently I was!!! lmao….

CAN YOU TAKE A WILD GUESS OF WHAT THIS LESSON WAS????

PATIENCE, SELF CONTROL, EXPANDING MY LIMITS, TAKING IN AND PAYING ATTENTION TO DETAILS!!!!

The First Basic Funamental In BDSM

The Very First Basic Fundamental there is in BDSM is simply understanding the basic fundamentals, why the protocols are there, why you have to pay attention, Understanding that you have to look at all angles, the why’s, the how’s, the possibilties, the risks, the what if’s, the what if not’s, you have to know what to look for, to look ahead, to look behind, to know, observe, to learn. to predict. You have to be responible, be in control of yourself, that you can’t go looking at the tv, while in a scene, Understanding the difference in

SOMEONE ALLOWING YOU, TRUSTING IN YOU TO DO THESE KINK ACTS IS A GIFT, IT CAN NOT BE TAKEN

IF YOU FEEL YOU HAVE TO TAKE, THEN IT’S NOT A GIFT, IT’S THEN CALLED ABUSE, ITS THAT’S FINE LINE THAT’S NOT TO BE CROSSED, THAT BOUNDARY THAT NEEDS TO BE RESPECTED!!!! IT’S DIFFERENCE IN LIFE AND DEATH!

UNDERSTANDING THAT WHEN THIS GIFT TO ALLOW YOU TO DO THESE KINK ACTS TO THEM, THAT IT TAKES TIME, IT TAKES TRUST, IT TAKES HONESTY, IT TAKES A PROCESS, TO BUILD AND ACHEIVE, IT TAKES EFFORT, IT TAKES KNOWING YOUR OWN PLACE AND STAYING IN IT, IT TAKES RESPECT FOR EACH OTHER’S ROLES, IT TAKES, TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT TAKES…..GIVING MORE THAN TAKING ON BOTH ROLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wanna know a secret????

Those of you that wonder why I am like I am, those of you who can not possibly think to understand why I do the things that I do, why I seem to get frustrasted on cerrtain subjects, like you paying attention and reading my ads, like giving me some bullshit ass excuse that I ain’t gonna work with me, those of of you who can not figure me out and have all the questions about me……

It’s really not that difficult to figure me out, it’s very simple actually. I’ve lived BDSM 24/7 all of my life, since i was 19!!! I’m now 48. IT REALLY IS ALL i KNOW!!! When you can grasp that I teach and show everyone of you, the basic fundamentals of BDSM daily, just in “my ways” you’ll start to catch on!!!

If you wondered how it was that i came to being THE BEST, MASTERING MY SKILL TO BEING THE ORAL SPECIALIST AS THESE ARE THE LABELS THAT YOU, YOURSELVES HAVE PLACED ON ME....”KNOWING MY CRAFT” YOU ONLY HAVE TO LOOK WITHIN THE BASIC FUNADMENTALS OF BDSM AND YOU WILL GET YOUR ANSWERS!!!!!!!! THIS IS ALL I KNOW!!! SO THEREFORE THIS IS THE ONLY WAY I CAN BE!!!

Ask yourselves why is it that honor, trust, honesty, RESPECT is important to me, Ask yourselves how is it that I can see straight through your bullshit that you try to hand me, Ask yourselves why i have don’t have tolerance to stupitiy, to cop outs and excuses. ask yourselves why I can’t be “handled” …ummm your not handling me the RIGHT way, there’s a certain way that i will take anyone’s telling me what to do or how to do it., ….your answers have already been….welll…they were answered in the first blog…and again in this one.

Hope that helped out some, letting you know these secrets lol

Stay safe and Much Love and Licks !

Rogue 2-8-2020

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