When Given The Chance…And Enough Rope….(Part 1)

Pop some popcorn sit back prop your feet up. And take delight. Cuz today, now.. that day it has now come and what a show it will be. Take 5 go get your popcorn and drinks and come back and sit for a little while and watch this show as it unfolds

From The Beginning

So let’s start at the beginning, just so that I can show that from the get-go what has been done. The very one that fucked me on my first website and everything is the very one that threw me to the wolves in the beginning. Not realizing I was a lone wolf. And introduced me to MocoSpace which I had never heard of until that day. Told me to go study MocoSpace see how things have been done.

It was less than a week later, 5 days to be exact, I get a message saying “I know that Facebook face”. That gave me a cold chill freezing cold, mind you. Suspiciously and freaked out “who the fuck are you?”  I asked

Just imagine my shock down to the bone when I hear, “hi mom” the funny thing was that I heard him say it literally like he was in my ear I heard that little squeaky voice that cracked. I can tell you the next thing out my mouth was “what the fuck are you doing on here?”

A “Man” That Turned Out To Be My Child

Let’s go little farther into that one, that was my son, Ashton at 15. His profile was as a 47 year old man. and when I went and looked even farther, he had made that profile right after he left my home. So his sneaky ass made that profile when he was with CPS, where he wasn’t being watched correctly. Cuz I had a grip on him after what he was trying to do to me. Along with after taking all the knives and the scissors and shit out of my home because of him.

Does this begin to give y’all a little thrill to those who like being on MocoSpace??  ya’ll need to think about that really hard. Cuz just as easy as my little, manipulative sneaky ass son can do it, anybody can.

let’s go further cuz I’m not done, he went even further when he was trying to blackmailed me. Cuz see my son is by far stupid, he is highly highly intelligent he just chooses to use it in the wrong way. I think I’m going to leave that one right where it stands.

Now this is after I’ve dealing with his shit for two years and threatening to kill a me and being afraid of him at 11 & 12 and going through what I went through after he left and the rest of the shit that I went through with that little motherfuker.

(I feel the need to express the Turmoil and the love/hate relationship that I have with my son inside. How can a child treat a parent this fucking bad. You know I gave him the best I could with what I had, I can tell you it was barely pennies I fought through it, and at least he was provided with his needs, so what he did, the PTSD, along w dont know the person he is now, the person that the past is the only thing I’ll ever know, and what has been done will always be a part of of my present and my future I can’t even look at a baby anymore without pain I can’t hold a toddler anymore without pain. I hate holidays, he took the joy out of children for me. Just so that you can get a clue inside me. Cuz i miss him, cuz I don’t miss what happened and I don’t know him now and I’m even scared to know him now, cuz he can turn evil really quickly he has that ability.)

My Introduction To The “Wolf Pack” 

All the while, during that time I was giving my first introduction to the pack of wolves. How naive was I at that time. How giving and oh so very trusting. Always trying to see the good in people, always giving that benefit of the doubt that people can change for the better, just like I had done.

The last little bit of me that I was able to salvage and keep of that person before I changed when it came to my son. There wasn’t much left, but during that time I was actually able to pick a few pieces up put them back into me so that I could keep the little bit left of me that I was before my own kid took and destroyed me.

Didn’t realize that part was going to touch me and hurt me so bad again cuz this is not pre-written. This is this start, the beginning of the end of that person that i had worked so hard to try to pick up and salvage. That once again by the entitlements of others,  was that very thing that brought that Michelle to the very end.

A story I’m about to tell, a story where now I do have an evil grin as i tell my tale, cuz through time I’m going to show, playing fuk fuk with me wasn’t the smartest way to go. As it is, playing fuk fuk with me… you should know, that’s one of my favorite games to play!!! And I play fuk fuk REALLY WELL!!!!! This time though IS EVER so bittersweet for me. Cuz see, this is the THIRD time that I’m going to see karma happen right in front of me.

This time, im taking an extra delight, with adding an extra touch, and personally delivering this one!.

That delivery, I will hand you, your own asses directly to you on a silver platter. That very cold silver platter….Though my Mentor had taught me not to mock karma, to just to sit back and and have a grin. And then move forward.  Move forward i will do.

So where to begin? As I ask myself. As my mind starts going through all the things I was introduced to, as i was thrown to the wolves. As I have never been a part of any pack before.  to ghosting, being left just having a conversation with myself and not knowing it, feeling to be the fool,  being led to believe that someone had arrived just so that you can have an address and a room number, stalkers, jokesters, pic collectors, countless and countless manipulations and lies, it seemed like I was the joke of the town, as word spread about my skills like wildfire. My stomach gets sick even now as I’m having to think about all of this to put on paper just the way I’ve been treated and it blows my mind that these people are supposed to be adults…..doing the same things that my son did to me at 11 and 12 years old, as no new books have been written just as of  yet, though many would love to think they had part in the making of a new, It’s only been faces and names that have changed, with a small spin. but in the end it’s still the same old book that had been made, long before I even came.

So let’s bring you to that fateful day, that is ever burned in me and will never go away.  the day the rest of that Michelle had died, quite literally not only the inner me that died, but ended up being ever so close of killing all of me. That fateful day for me.

The First Time The “Wolves” Brought Me Down To Suicide

This was in August 2017, taken for everything that I didn’t already have because it has already been taken twice before but none of that mattered, seemed theres was ALWAYS more to take from me, because I was seen as no more than to be taken from, by those ones that felt entitlement to have, even entitled to having a life, taken from it so much so.

Being brought down and beat down, being all naive, the bargaining chip that I had become, brought me down so much so, the nightmare of doing $5 tricks for $48 rent for that day, and on that same day, my rent being stolen as i was doing those $5 tricks that I did to pay my rent,…my heart sank as found, one more time i had been taken from. Pushing everything i had about me on that day, not being able to go much farther, cuz of my back. Pushing through having no choice, thank God for those managers at that motel that day because I worked one decent call through being temporary paralyzed.

It was ONLY by SHEER WILL, AND THAT STRONG-WILLED DETERMINED BITCH THAT I AM THAT  I PERSEVERED!!!! And that I was able to make it that day. Rent got paid for that day at 9:00 that night. And to those that did this to me I hope you read these words soon and finally know what you’ve done to me.

The next day was the day that I was trying to commit suicide. There is only three people that seem to have any decency and human care about themselves to make sure I didn’t do it. A housekeeper my best friend and my former Master in Pennsylvania. It’s only because those three ppl that im still alive. With my best friend and especially my former Master who literally saw and went through what I went through when it came to my son when he brought me down to that suicide level,  three times before, all in one year. the year that he left.  I had to deal with learning how to speak all over again,  everything we do in life to live,  I had to learn how to do once again. All because of what my child did to me. And he knew that by leaving me alive, his worst demise, he had done, killing everything inside me.

one more time, after swearing I would never go down to that level again, is just where i seemed to have found myself.  Kinda Funny by the same kind of people that feel entitled just like my son.

I had to come to terms, I had to accept, the choices that I was looking at, which one was I going to take. Those three choices being: to believe that I was not worthy of this world just like these motherfuckers had made me feel like I had been and just end it all,  to tuck tail and run, or to take my very hard lessons with me, and rise above all!

So which one of those choices did I take??? 

And so it began!!!!!

the one thing that has stuck with me, the one thing that my mother did teach me, upon realizing, my second husband had been molesting my oldest kid at the small age of 4,

“Bide Your Time”

I’ve said all these words all along, as just the other day I spoke about knowledge being power. There’s two ways to use knowledge. The first taking the knowledge that you have and using it against somebody. Or the second,  you can choose to take the knowledge that you have, and keep it all to yourself. Having humility, all the while, being aware..  remembering, that day that i had died!

as you’ve been hearing me say these words alot here lately,  I will say them again,

“By that very fire that you continue to try to burn me with, is by THAT VERY FIRE I GAIN MY STRENGTH FROM!!!!!”

So you see, already two things never known about me thus far to this point, my spirit guide being a wolf, a lone Wolf. And fire being my element. And Fire,  MY FIRE, by the teachings of my Mentor is a VERY strong element.

So… I was just another dumb ditzy foolish hoe that had came along huh? So… Just another hoe that didn’t have a clue on what she was doing, huh? So…. Just another hoe nagging and bitching, spittin piss and vinegar  on social media, having hatred for men , huh? Sooo….. Just tell her another rambling ass cunt hoe that don’t know what she’s doing, huh???????? Hmmmm…..

So let’s just find out a little bit more about me, Because by the very actions and behaviors those that vibrate with a base thud sound, that plays that horrible music that those people vibrate on that lower level play. That horrible bass thud,  that just literally irritates my ears when I hear it,  that low base thud vibration. Mind you, that can be felt and heard from pretty far away, being that it is base thud vibration. It DOES carry.

You ask what am I speaking of?  The Universe. That’s what I’m speaking of, universe being made up of energies, frequencies and vibrations. To know the secrets of the universe are to begin to try to understand the secrets that this universe holds.  it’s just start by understanding these three things. Each individual makes their own music within the frequencies, vibrations and energies. The energy that someone radiates, your Aurora. Normally, I can pick up those vibrations off of each individual especially when I need to be aware of it. those that are not in sync with the universe, I pick up a base thud vibration from those people, and if I’m around you long enough, I will learn your signature vibration. This is what I’m talking about.

The very predictions that I made the day I made my choice. That choice: the very words I spoke to myself  

“I’m giving THIS MY ALL”

I knew by what y’all had already taught me up to that point,

Again I’m going to say this:

That yall were the absolute best motherfuking teachers anybody in life ever ask for!!!

Cuz y’all have taught me WELL!!!!“

The “Entitled Ones” Taught Me Well

And with each person I came across that had entitlement to them that JUST FELT ENTITLED to take more from me…

That ENTITLEMENT

Will ONLY allow you to see the what’s right in front of you!!

ONLY THING THAT YOU CAN SEE

THAT “NOW GAME”!!!!!

NEVER ALLOWING YOU TO HAVE CLARITY ABOUT THAT “END GAME.”

THE BIGGER PICTURE AT HAND, HAVING CLARITY AND KNOWING THAT IN THE BIG SCHEME OF THINGS, THAT END GAME, is what you need to be after and focused on cuz that’s the most important thing to go after.

So with my blinders on, keeping me focused, i set after my goals. Ohhhh, tested and tried I have been, trying to sway, trying to knock down once again, the very core of me, trying to con, the lies, the deceptions, on and on i can go. One thing they didn’t know, I had already been down to the very bottom more than once and just this small-time I’ve been here, it was not ever going to happen again.

Many have commented along the way, small little snide comments, some taking notice and stating thst i seem to be focused. One comment said to me just a few months back, made me the proudest of all though, that I had stood just as a Marine. cuz he came at me with every direction he thought he could do. I never broke once. I never flinched. I stood straight and tall and stood my ground, protecting everything about me and staying true to myself and my word….my honor.

In just four short months, after that fateful day for me. It was a milestone for me, a very important one. To me, with the fight so far, ive had, and is a very proud moment for me standing tall, deserving of a small celebration. My Verified Status. (I’m having to take a step back and take a breath on this one, it’s a painful to have to think about) that proud moment was definitely short-lived.

Eccie: Entitled The Most

In December 2017, is when I became verified, and that in itself brought along a whole lot more introductions farther teaching me. I believe the hardest thing of all from that I was realizing and finding reviews that were told me I had, that have been good reviews. From my days on Moco. And I knew this was going to be hard for me cuz even now I’m breaking down in tears. No one can even begin to imagine upon finding those reviews that were said to be good ones.  To see i had been shamed during the time that I had been at my lowest levels everything has been stolen from me down to just having my purse and the clothes on my fucking back, NOT ONCE BUT MOTHERFUKING TWICE, and when I say everything I mean even my top teeth being that and yes I here’s where I’m going to State it cuz I’m tired of it. On my mother’s side of the family has a hereditary gum disease. Since I was a teenager I have been losing my teeth little by little. And considering that I got pregnant at 16 that sure didn’t help it, to literally have everything about you and the only things that you brought when you moved with all the keepsakes, my grandmother is 90 year old wedding band, the baby books EVERYTHING LITERALLY EVERYTHING YOU HELD DEAR TO YOUR HEART down to your freaking teeth.. .GONE JUST GONE JUST GONE JUST GONE!!!!

I’m going to take this moment right here and I’m going to explain in Express that this right here I have never dealt with I have pushed aside what I did was is an order for me to be able to just move forward and to be able to function I just can’t think about this part. It has not been dealt with in order for me just to be able to I can function in my life I had to just pour myself into what I was doing, work…work work work down to the living bone. This is what I’ve done.

To to see pictures of me talking about my face in these reviews…. SHAMING ME!!!!  No one will ever know damage that it’s caused me, the scars, criticizing being so critical about things of a person’s outter beauty, no one will ever know no one cuz I can’t even find the words to express it. I don’t think there is any words in the English language feckin brewing Express when I felt when I saw the reviews shaming me, the only thing good about those damn reviews was about my skills….YE FUCKING HAW!!!!

With that realizing that I was facing the same motherfukers on Eccie that almost killed me. I was looking into the eyes have the same persons that had four months literally for the cause of very fucking close to killing me. To go on that site to listen and watch, AND TO HAVE TO FUCKING SWALLOW THE COMMENTS, THE ENTITLEMENTS, THE DEGRADING, PUBLICLY SHAMING ME TO MY FACE, SPITTING SPEW AT ME……..

ALL THE WHILE, FUCKING TRYING MY DAMNEDEST TO KEEP MY MOUTH SUPERGLUED SHUT!!! DAY IN DAY OUT DAY IN DAY OUT!!!!  Silently I’ve sat in the one room that I’m sitting in now, been here 14 and a half months now I have cried day in and day out in this bed without anybody realizing it for those 14 ½ months now. You don’t know what it feels like to have to face and stand up in front of the very ones that violated you, to know what that violation feels like and all the while Azan swallowing exactly the bullshit that list shoveled and has continually been shoveled to me ….keeping my mouth shut.  And most of you by now already know about me and my mouth cuz I’m not want to keep it should my mother always said that my mouth always got me in trouble and she is true and right holds very true to this day.

This time though, “BIDE YOU TIME MICHELLE,” I can just hear my mother’s words….EVERY DAY, I told myself, THAT NOW GAME, IS NOT WORTH THAT END GAME. IT WILL NOT BE AS SATISFYING AS IT WILL TO ME IN THE END.

So….. Quite literally, day in and day out, I have fought to just keep my trap shut,  thus far, I have, AND that on its own that’s hard for me to do. And if my parents were to know that would quite literally put them in so much shock, that it would probably kill them over, from my family to know to anyone that knows me from all of my life KNOWS about my mouth ….. For me to keep it shut this whole time must have been important for me!!

So with Eccie, came along  with new challenges, learning good times with girls, bonding, and resources. I had a lot to think about, I question myself and it seemed like all ECCIE had, for most part were those of entitlements… Too entitled to screen, too entitled to wear protection, too entitled and took whenever you could. Now I also want to express I have met quite a few of my friends from there so it’s not all bad. But it seems that the bad is now come to a point where the percentage of good and bad to meet on there, the bad out ways the good, in my opinion or at least that’s what I’ve experienced anyways I mean I’m just speaking in my experiences and that’s all I have to go on.

I stayed though I stayed for the verification, and boy oh boy when I found the blacklist and I figured out what that was. Then it became apparent to me I had to stay just because of that. The breaks the chloroforming of rapes, the fucking beatings, the fucking whatever your little heart can imagine I found in the black listings.

And so many new hard lessons for me, that came along with this one of them is so deserving to be called out right about now, being that he’s earned his top notch spot now. 

The One That Has Felt To Be Most Entitled: HAS EARNED HIS ENTITLMENT NOT ONCE…BUT TWICE NOW

You know, and I get to this point, I’m in turmoil about it all with myself, to call out any handle or any name or anything, but you know, as I sit and I have to look back on all of what I’ve gone through, no one has had a problem with Calling me out, with this ever so fucking big war battle of wills that I’ve had with each and every person that I come in contact with. And being that it’s not his real name stating any real-world information,  I’m not going against protocol.

But this is my story, what I’ve gone through, this is to share and explain why and who I am today.

WHAT I HAVE BECOME, THE MICHELLE, THE ME THAT I AM TODAY, HAS BEEN MADE AND IS THE VERY MIRROR IMAGE OF HOW IVE TREATED BY THOSE WHO WERE ENTITLED”.

Here’s the funny fucking part for me, and here is where it’s going to be just also deliciously so when everybody realizes just what you’ve done lol…..this is the very realization of whats taken place in what these people have actually done…

“Im entitled to this, I’m entitled that, i want that, i deserve to have this, i want and deserve to take your time, I’m entitled to “waste”your time, I’m entitled to steal your phone, I’m entitled, i want because im paying for it anyways, to make you run around in circles driving you, making you so tired and still make you fuck me me. Or maybe even better yet just not even show up” “fuk it make her do it all for nothing”….i want i want i want i want i want i want NOW I WANT FREE I WANT NOW NOW  I WANT IT YESTERDAY, I DESERVE EVERYTHING FOR FREE,“

Heres where I’m going to shed some light, because the realization but y’all actually took, is actually pretty astounding to me. Wow that now game is so fucking important and I kept saying don’t bite your nose in spite of your face. What y’all actually did in the long run, that end that game I keep talking about, is bit your own WHOLE fucking faces off. Have you figured it out yet????  or should I spell it out explain it in detail????

Here it is March 5th 2019 3:04 a.m,  I came to San Antonio I think it was January 29th 2017 my shit was stolen the first time in February that year, I left and scooted out of that place without notice really quickly, in March, started into MocoSpace right after that, so this month marks exactly 2 years I’ve been working my way up, all the while everything about me everything inside me everything on the outside of me everything and all my possessions numerous different times running my time even psychic vampires that just love to suck the energy right  out of me, in between taking all of my possessions everything about me that you felt so deserving to take the still you deserve to have…..

Did y’all realize in the midst of the blinded now game of taking and stealing, that you took your own rope that I had hidden away from me????? you stole the rope, you tied your own noose, making that knot oh so perfect now, searching out the best spot to hang your rope, now that’s going back and readjusting your knot several times i might add, grabbing a chair and with finally, taking your deep breath standing up on that chair and kicking that chair from underneath you finally literally hung your own selves with your own fucking rope that you stole from me!!!!! And I just let y’all keep stealing from me, if it was that damn important for yall to have, just who the hell I to say anything???? I was just a nobody. Just somebody to continually take from. Soooooo, I sat back, quiety in the shadows, and just let you take so that you can have your now game considering that was just so important…. .

All the while I stayed focused, I had one thing that I could see, the bigger scheme of things, the bigger picture, blinders still on, I carried on to the end game!!!!

So Entitled…So Deserving…To Continue Taking

So back to that one person that has shown to me, that he has been so deserving to take more and more and more, start deserving of everything he definitely deserves the top notch place of this, to be made an example of. Cuz he got me not once not twice not three he actually got me four times start time I was done with him, fourth time he did me in good and put ink on his way back into my good graces. Imma show you just how well you’ve done my friend. Coming at me in the beginning he only wants to have only one provider to see, that he is only had one of the provider before, he only paid for my time just ONCE, so that he could get his foot into the door. The first time $70 for the HHR, during this time I’m so damn naive was I so naive oh I was so naive I can’t express just how naive I was even after that fateful day in August because I still even to this day look for the good in people…. Well at that time out of my heart because it wasn’t about money and never has been and I’m a spontaneous notions I was just up and say don’t worry about it, well this motherfucker has taking it to extremes about don’t worry about it, he got me twice, with telling me in between that he didn’t like to fuck, no screening,  giving me a fake name, and I know it was fake btw, all the while, I’m watching his cheap ass self on the board, his direct board to go to was moco reviews and others, the way he talks about women and cheap and money and no way I watched him quietly….smfh….wow!!! I got duped, i admit it, wow, I found myself saying that constantly the more I watched him, wow unbelievable how this motherfucker views women.

Seems like the two times Eccie went down, all the lowlifes decided to crawl out the woodworks and call me, him being the main one, that last post I made before eccie went down the first time I knew it was going to  bring them all  out of the woodworks, know it.

So let’s see I never knew his email until the first time you email me, never white revealing exactly who he was we chatted for a few, and it came back with would you unblock me you have blocked my number,  can you imagine me sitting here going what the fuck is he talking about? Puzzled, so i calmly answer him, well hun what number do you have what is it so that I can go and check it out, Lord have mercy, what a sneaky son-of-a-bitch you are,  so about time my half-hour rate was a hundred, he conned me into it he did he’s good at it too I give him that he’s gotten good at it, that was last August, so he got into my graces and I’m really had thought he had put the money down I really did, so at the end I’m looking around I might you put it down didn’t you where’d you put it? What are you talkin about acting like I didn’t say a fucking word about it, and literally stole $100 out of me one more time taken from me. I was blindedly pissed, and hurt, I’m one more time a hard lesson learned then remember this because I have to come back to it, okay …

 Earning His Way To The Front Page

So December Christmas Eve what did I get from him on Christmas, I guess he just still feels so fucking deserving enough that he’s going to come back on Christmas Eve, my phone and try one more time lying one more time oh wow I changed all that stuff that you talked about I’ve changed all that goodness all the stones and stuff that you told me about yeah I’ve changed……GUESS WHAT???!!!!!

HAD YOU REALLY CHANGED HAD YOU BEEN TELLING THE TRUTH, THE VIBRATION YOUR BODY IS THAT CUTS OUT AND I HEAR AND FEEL WITH THE CAMEL LIGHTER AND NOT HAD THAT GOOD THAT IRRITATED ME SO MUCH. CONSIDERING SINCE I STARTED PICKING UP YOUR INDIVIDUAL VIBRATION. BECAUSE YOU HAVE COME AT ME SO MANY TIMES I STARTED LEARNING YOUR VIBRATION.

Seems to me, this motherfucker still deserves still thinks he deserves and is entitled to having my blow jobs,  I told him I would even meet him next door at the store to get my money cuz he wouldn’t going to see me without paying what he owe me from last time and this time you know I gave him an out I gave him a way to make right…. I told him he needed to do the screening he did not make right he did not offer and knew he wasn’t going to make right and I I knew it but I gave him every opportunity there was that I could give him to make right with me.

When I made that ground rules page, yep that’s where he made it to he’s so deserving I specifically talked about his ass on that page Christmas Eve and Christmas day what he did to me trying to anyways.

STILL not blocking his number again, then he made the grave mistake of letting me know but he was watching my blogs and my social media and my website, when he impulsively contacted me when I made it blog I’ve unplugged….. freaking out, Sola read you’re not going to be on social media anymore….

UHHH HUHHH, THANK YOU FOR THAT INFORMATION YOU GAVE ME……BUT….. THIS IS WHAT YOU DID NOT KNOW…..

You think all I have is them screening programs,. You don’t think that I’m not resourceful, you don’t think that I had a past in my life where I just know people throughout the country in my travels, you don’t think but after taking and stealing $100 with your intent on not giving me that $100 after you said and agreed to that did I did not and was not going to pull out my resources. mb013, jason, and NO that is not his real name that’s the only reason why I called a name out, it’s now time to call you out on what you’ve done,  then that a friend of mine happened to contact me right now I need 10 minutes 15 minutes after you left that night crying again, yes I told him the story, do you realize there’s been two bikers that was actually wanting to look for you?????  Do you realize with the information that I had even through the anagrams that I couldn’t find you that I don’t have resources????? SMFH

I told my friend no it’s okay it’s okay in the end I’ll come out and in the end I’ll be the better person I’m honorable I’m not going to do it that way,….. Do you know and realize that the only thing that has saved your ass has quite literally been my honor and me being focused on END GAME?????!!!!!! AND I MEAN THAT QUITE LITERALLY SO!!!!! PUSHING ME TO THE BRINKS OF MAKING SURE, I GOT IN TOUCH IF SOMEBODY FROM MY PAST YEARS AGO, AND CALLED ON A FAVOR OWED, SO THAT I CAN KNOW EXACTLY WHO YOU WERE…

Baby. I’m not going to happen to you because if that was in the plan it would have already happened just so that you know but I’ll also want you to know and here’s the reason why I am saying all that is because you thought you know who you were playing fuck fuck with, my advice to you one leave me the fuck alone + 2 make sure you know who you playing fuck fuck with before you play fuck fuck with someone because I’m quite literally tired of you showing your ass around thinking that you deserve to take anymore from me that you have made it on this page and me naming you specifically, considering you’ve just had to push me into these brinks, I’m feeling like you deserve to be graced in my presence again that you will never be that will never happen.

My blow job seemed to be that damn good to where he keeps trying to come up in my grace is again but yet never offers.

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