When you don’t realize your with a Narcissists

I’ve ALWAYS lived by the Golden Rule “The Least You Know, The Better Off We All Are,” which is where my “nunya fuckin business” comes from. And YES, it has proven to be one of the MOST IMPORTANT Golden Rules to live by…especially In the streets. As Yes…

“Igornace IS bliss” ……..

BUT EXACTLY FOR WHO???? …

I guess…..LESSON LEARNED….THAT would depend on the situation, now wouldn’t it????

Mind Control, Mental Abuse, Psychological Abuse, Ritual Abuse, Spiritual Warfare, Cyber Warfare. All of these “names” in it’s different catgories ALL have ONE Common Denominator. FEAR!

Let’s have a look at “fear” and what causes FEAR.


June 10, 2020: As I am putting my thoughts together for this writing, I can begin to see how Google Search, for example got started and how it grew to where it is now with all of us saying things like “google it up” It’s the place to go when you don’t know something. Whether it’s to learn how to deal with some kind of sickness, head ache, back ache, or any kind of schooling.

Then I find my thoughts going farther, I start to think on human nature in itself. We as humans find comfort in what’s “known.” It’s helps us to identify and recognize, giving something an identity gives that “something” “place,” As it begins to take shape and form, it helps to bring an understanding. Which brings us comfort.

As humans, we naturally fear what it is not known to us. Because we can’t understand it, we can’t explain it, we can’t put it in it’s “place.” As they say, “no rhyme or reaason,” there’s no logic to it.

When there’s no logic” to something, it’s “not understood“….When it’s not understood, it’s simply seen as “crazy” so that we can understand. We as humans have to put labels to things so that our brains can “compute” it in order for our brains to understand. If there’s no logic, our brain is naturally going to reject it. When something is not understood we begin to feel a “sense of loss of self-control” then that turns into feelings of dispair because we feel very vulnerable because not knowing leads our imaginations to run wild and then we scare (fear) the shit out of ourselves.

As humans there is a “certain balance” between the mind and the heart. The mind gives us “logic” and the heart gives us “compassion” …giving us “an understanding” And is the reason for the saying: “Get out of your head, your head is the darkest place to be, look into your heart, it will lead you’ …..giving it “rhyme and reason”….The tricky part is being able to find that correct balance between logic and compassion as an individual.

It bad enough that we scare our own selves half to death by our imaginations running wild into the vast ‘unknown,” scaring our own selves half to the death is more than enough on it’s own. Knowing that we are then vulnerable to not only ourselves but to others who mean harm and play upon “This Unknown” by twisting it and exploiting it creates a domino effect that snowballs.

The Two Main Controlling Factors in all of this is FEAR and UNKNOWN!!!!!!

THE KEY FACTOR OF WHO IS IN CONTROL IS KNOWLEDGE!!! ONCE YOU HAVE KNOWLEDGE YOU ARE THEN IN CONTROL OF YOUR OWN SELF!!!

Understanding the tactics used and the “How’s” and “Why’s” of each one of these methods takes the control factor away from your attacker/predator/dictator and puts that power and control back where it belongs…

SELF POWER….SELF CONTROL!!!… THE SECRET IS KNOWLEDGE….

*****WHAT MAKES IT EVEN SWEETER FOR THOSE OF US WHO HAVE BEEN VICTIMIAZED BY MIND CONTROL IS KNOWING YOU HAVE THIS “KNOWLEDGE” AND KNOWING WHEN IT’S TIME TO USE THAT KNOWLEDGE “IF NEEDED” …..WELL ….THAT WOULD BE CALLED WISDOM!!! AND THAT MY DEAR FRIENDS COMES WITH AGE!!!!! THAT’S WHEN YOU TRULY FEEL CONFIDENT IN HAVING YOUR SELF CONTROL BACK!!!******


Being that my particular situation is very complex in nature with many different factors involved. This has not been the easiest to figure out at all. And honestly speaking many have played some kind of role in this. It’s not really “this or that” person that is particular to blame here. Being in the public makes this so much more difficult. I mean it’s bad enough to go through any part of this when you are just dating “one” person. But when you are in the public eye, you then become an easy target and the attacker or attackers can easily hide themselves.. So the possiblities go from having just one attacker to who knows how many –

This is the very reason why it has been so difficult for me to try to figure out, and honestly I still don’t “really” know and don’t think that I ever will “really” know all the answers. But here’s what I can tell you, the majority of those that do contact a provider exerts the same exact characteristics of a narcissist for the most part…as a whole and generally speaking.

To farther help you, the reader to TRY to grasp the magnatude of everything in my particluar situation and I say try, because NOT ONE person will ever be able to grasp even a little, much less to fully understand the degree of it all for me of which I am speaking. I was already in “shock mode” I guess is the best way to put it. I had just got released from going through extensive therapy from the situation with my youngest son up north before I moved here, and 3 weeks after moving here, literally everything I had was gone with just the clothes on my back. The fact of the matter is, I had no idea about any of this life and this community. Very honestly, I still was not able to deal with JUST THE THOUGHT of going grocery shopping in a small store, the thought of having to go to Walmart was still a total panic for me as far as the Complex PTSD is concerned. I was sooooo NOT PREPARED AT ALL TO HAVE TO DEAL WITH THE PUBLIC LIKE THIS, AND I DIDNT HAVE THE ABILITY TO DO SO. Having to deal with so many people at once like all that, It had it’s effects on me just in itself. I went deeper into “shock mode” than what I already was in.

I was VERY TRUSTING, very naive and ignorant to ALL OF THIS LIFE. I was easily persuaded and so very gulliable. And in retrospect, as I look back on everything. I honestly would probably consider myself to be very sheltered when it comes to knowing anything about this life and community. Through out all my travels, my experiences and everything, this one area, was definitely NOT in my life plans. It’s important to know this because through out all of my “craziness” of trying to understand what the fuck I was coming up with. All I had ever known was my spirituality and just the experiences that I had dealt with in my life. And quite simply, this was all that I had to go on to try to figure out what I have been going through.

I had only worked 8 months doing outcalls back when I was 25. And back then there were no such words as “outcalls” that I know of. I had spent my life either married or living like I was married and then trying my best to raise a child as a single mom. I was NOT aware of ANY OF THIS OUT HERE, I HAD NO CLUE… With All of this in mind, IT WAS EASY FOR ANY ONE TO PLAY ON AND EXPLOIT ME COMPLETELY.

In my case, I’ve been dealing with TWO Narcissists.

Characteristics of a Narcissist

Narcissistic Personaility Disorder, though found to be more common among men. I do have a have male friend that has a wife that is Narcissistic. For a narcissist it seems they have a “need” of being important. From “googling it up” The first thing I saw was “A disorder in which a person has an inflated sense of self-importance.” That was on the very top of the page when I looked it up.

For example, all the indentities that I had been given ALL OF THEM, had to do with Great people of higher stature, of GREAT IMPORTANCE. And i can tell you now, my gut….I’m almost for certain the names that I was given is NOT his name. There were sooo many variables and discrepancies, all of what I found combined are probably derivatives of his real name, somewhere along the line. I mean I don’t know for certain, but I can tell you for a fact there he goes to great length to hide his identity. ….(Now see, for me…..that was a dead give a way A MAJOR RED FLAG FOR ME, in my case ESPECIALLY AFTER 3 YEARS)…..And this is not me bashing anyone, this is straight up just simply because it’s my most recent experience. Take into consideration our online identities ok, we normally pick a name or a character that we look up to, admire, or in some way or another, we indentify with. I’m just simply breaking it down.

I’ve been bombed by email and screening forms all with the similar names that this person had given me, and i figured out how i was being stalked

https://www.quora.com/How-do-you-trace-a-fake-phone-number

to know that this dude is bombing my emails and my screenng forms from ADULTLOOK AND TRYST using these two sites to do everything from 

i met him when i was advertising on backpage and he has been the only one that ive been having any contact with the last 3 months i have gone thru the process of ellimention and he has been sending me in every direction possible

evey time i got close to figuring shit out
he would deflect me somewhere else
and thats been the issue
i had to reformat my phone and my computer this week to try to get to the bottom of everything
FOR THREE YEARS IVE DEALT WITH TWO NARCISSITS NOT ONE BUT TWO.
so i appreciate MORE FREAKING NEGATIVITY AND LACK OF SUPPORT
while he has been in my ear just making sure i knew that i had no control over what was going on in my life

Signs and Symptoms of A Narcissist

These specific Signs and Symptoms can vary from person to person as well as the severity of each one. Being able to understand the patterns so that you can be able to identify and recognize each one of these when involved can be very difficult being that you always seem to be in a “cloud of confusion” at all times.

Taken from Mayoclinic.org

  • Have an exaggerated sense of self-importance
  • Have a sense of entitlement and require constant, excessive admiration
  • Expect to be recognized as superior even without achievements that warrant it
  • Exaggerate achievements and talents
  • Be preoccupied with fantasies about success, power, brilliance, beauty or the perfect mate
  • Believe they are superior and can only associate with equally special people
  • Monopolize conversations and belittle or look down on people they perceive as inferior
  • Expect special favors and unquestioning compliance with their expectations
  • Take advantage of others to get what they want
  • Have an inability or unwillingness to recognize the needs and feelings of others
  • Be envious of others and believe others envy them
  • Behave in an arrogant or haughty manner, coming across as conceited, boastful and pretentious
  • Insist on having the best of everything — for instance, the best car or office

I realized on Monday after everything that the ONLY PERSON I’VE HAD CONTACT WITH, COULD NOT EVER GIVE ME ANY KIND OF COMPASSION TOWARDS ANYTHING,


At the same time, people with narcissistic personality disorder have trouble handling anything they perceive as criticism, and they can:

  • Become impatient or angry when they don’t receive special treatment
  • Have significant interpersonal problems and easily feel slighted
  • React with rage or contempt and try to belittle the other person to make themselves appear superior
  • Have difficulty regulating emotions and behavior
  • Experience major problems dealing with stress and adapting to change
  • Feel depressed and moody because they fall short of perfection
  • Have secret feelings of insecurity, shame, vulnerability and humiliation

And to go even farther:

When to see a doctor

People with narcissistic personality disorder may not want to think that anything could be wrong, so they may be unlikely to seek treatment. If they do seek treatment, it’s more likely to be for symptoms of depression, drug or alcohol use, or another mental health problem. But perceived insults to self-esteem may make it difficult to accept and follow through with treatment.

If you recognize aspects of your personality that are common to narcissistic personality disorder or you’re feeling overwhelmed by sadness, consider reaching out to a trusted doctor or mental health provider. Getting the right treatment can help make your life more rewarding and enjoyable.

Causes:

It’s not known what causes narcissistic personality disorder. As with personality development and with other mental health disorders, the cause of narcissistic personality disorder is likely complex. Narcissistic personality disorder may be linked to:

  • Environment ? mismatches in parent-child relationships with either excessive adoration or excessive criticism that is poorly attuned to the child’s experience
  • Genetics ? inherited characteristics
  • Neurobiology — the connection between the brain and behavior and thinking

Risk Factors;

Narcissistic personality disorder affects more males than females, and it often begins in the teens or early adulthood. Keep in mind that, although some children may show traits of narcissism, this may simply be typical of their age and doesn’t mean they’ll go on to develop narcissistic personality disorder.

Although the cause of narcissistic personality disorder isn’t known, some researchers think that in biologically vulnerable children, parenting styles that are overprotective or neglectful may have an impact. Genetics and neurobiology also may play a role in development of narcissistic personality disorder.

Complications:

Complications of narcissistic personality disorder, and other conditions that can occur along with it, can include:

  • Relationship difficulties
  • Problems at work or school
  • Depression and anxiety
  • Physical health problems
  • Drug or alcohol misuse
  • Suicidal thoughts or behavior

Prevention;

Because the cause of narcissistic personality disorder is unknown, there’s no known way to prevent the condition. However, it may help to:

  • Get treatment as soon as possible for childhood mental health problems
  • Participate in family therapy to learn healthy ways to communicate or to cope with conflicts or emotional distress
  • Attend parenting classes and seek guidance from therapists or social workers if needed

As a footnote: I wanted to make sure I added all of the information from the mayoclinic to ensure the correct infomation as well as in hopes that this may help all parties involved no matter what.


I AM SOOOO FUCKING TIRED OF BEING ABUSED IO AM SOOOO FUCKIONG TIRED OF PAYING FOR YOU TO FUCKING ABUSE ME WITH THESE ADS AND THIS FUCKING SITE

I DONT FUCKING PAY FOR YOU TO ABUSE ME

I DONT PAY FOR YOUR SAFETY SECURITY AND PRIVACY AND FUCKING EVERYTING ELSE THAT I PAY FOR …FOR YOU….FOR YOU TO FUCKING ABUSE ME AND USE THIS SITE AGAINST ME

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